Tips for New Members

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#1 Nov 5 - 11AM
thebigpayback
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Tips for New Members

I have noticed a lot of new members. you are in the right place if you want to get better. it is very tempting to tell us your story, and they encourage it here. however, i have been on this site for over a year and i am one of the ones who came back, even when i didn't like what i was being told. if you want to get over a toxic relationship this is the place. i am going to post my list of tips to help you succeed.

1. start by reading goldies blog on the left side of the site, then read the questions and answers on the left side of the site. read narcspeak and the mod squad blog.

2. next, go to the share your story and randomly click on various peoples' story. Just read, don't comment yet. just read and you will see that you are not the crazy one like your narc possibly said. there are scores of people with similar stories, domestic violence, cheating, kinky sex and sex addiction, work addiction, internet and fakebook freaks, people who do internet porn and every other thing you can think of. some narcs are violent, some are not. some hate their mothers, some don't. there is no one size fits all, but the biggest factor for narcs is their lack of remorse and need for new supply, more supply, all the time. they repeat themselves in relationship after relationship.

3. Get a one on one with Goldie or join the support group. if you cannot afford it( which is common after being with a narcissist) borrow the 12 dollars to buy the path forward book and read it, refer back to it daily.

4. print off some of the posts or comments that REALLY resonated with you, or bookmark them on your iphone or computer. when you feel the need to break no contact to try and get closure or get an apology from the narc, refer here instead.

5. once you embrace the steps and truly go no contact you will start to have some peace and clarity in your life.

6. make sure to "give back", when some of us get better we certainly don't post as often as we used to. don't glamourize the narc and his new partner if he has moved on so quickly, and forget warning the new one. it is more supply and triangulation oppourtunities. them versus you, the "crazy, jealous ex" don't buy into that

this site and the members have been super helpful to me. i have accomplised alot in a year and a half, and i was married to narc for 11 years. 11 years of catering to him and neglecting myself. i am willing to bet you have been doing exactly that .

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Dec 4 - 3PM
Goldie
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Tips for New Members

Nov 15 - 3AM
Journey
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Recovery Links & Resources Page Located at top of 1-3 Forum

Journey on...

Nov 15 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
spt
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Thank you for that link,

Nov 13 - 8AM
Janie53
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thepigpayback

Nov 5 - 1PM
Quixotic
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Spot on! Red Pill or Blue Pill?

Nov 16 - 9AM (Reply to #5)
ItsFinallytime
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LOVE this Q. It could NOT be

Nov 15 - 5PM (Reply to #4)
NewMe63
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Thanks, Guys!

Nov 5 - 1PM (Reply to #2)
Janie53
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Quix

Nov 19 - 3PM (Reply to #3)
Janie53
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Bump!!!