Goodbye to the man who once (actually, never) was...

Mr. Empty,

You will never truely understand the pain and hurt you caused me. Everytime you decided you needed "time and space" you somehow stole a piece of me and took it with you. You stole so much of me that you penetrated into my soul, my core being, leaving me feeling empty, alone, discarded, in NEED of your "adorations" to survive (basicailly leaving me feeling how you have felt your entire life, and for that I feel sorry for you). I allowed you to devalue me enough that I doubted my entire being, what has made me the incredible woman I am today, I allowed you to take that away from me. Now, I am reclaiming all of those pieces of me that you selfishly stole in order to repair myself and build my sense of self back up to where it was before you so callously entered my life. You claim you want to leave a "LEGACY" behind in this world, what you have left is a wake of destruction behind you, and unfortunatly I became just another one of your victims.

I loved you, you made me tell you this at times and the only times I heard you reference your "love" for me was through a lyric in a song you sent me which stated "i want to say those three little words but I don't want to rush what we have." BULLSHIT, you never said them because you have no idea what they mean, and you loved hearing me tell you how much I loved you- you are a sick individual. Or when you wanted me back to fill your emptiness by saying "I think I love you, that is why I'm back." Does it feel good to know that all of the people in your life that truely love and care about you, you have pushed away, hurt and have made to feel insignificant? I hope that the pain and hurt you have caused others in your past never leaves you and you have to live with the fact that you are a empty, void, soulless, and have used people as pawns to try to fill that void inside of you. You do not know, nor will you even know or feel, what true love really is. That is very sad.

I fell so hard for you, I was in love with you, you were my king and I treated you like one. You put on a show the first 4 months of our relationship in order to brainwash and manipulate me with your "wining and dining", cleaning, "caring" about my life, etc. These things are all superficial to me, and despite what you said to me about me not being able to find someone who gives me that attention and time you did, I will and per your request- I will introduce you to him. He will be much more of a man that you have ever been or claimed to be. You are not a man, but a little boy stuck inside the empty body of a 35 year old. You statement that I showed you that there are great woman out there and that you hope I showed you what type of man deserves your spoils- that is total BS, and no... you showed me the type of man who DOESNT deserve my spoils.

You are a fraud and a manipulator...I can only pray that your daughters never meet a man like you. But, unfortunatly what is sad is that they most likely will because you don't understand the importance of a father in a daughters life. Your absence and lack of care/concern for them will impact them more than you will ever realize. All you care about is YOU and because of this and your lack of introspection/empathy you will always be alone. Even if you are physically with someone you will still be alone, you live an empty superficial life because you will never get to expereince the joy of true and unconditional love. I feel bad for the woman you actually brainwash enough to stay with you, you almost had me- but I am stronger than that. And I am so thankful that you lied to me one last time for me to open my eyes.

I gave you my everything, and you handed right to me. I can walk away from this with dignity and telling myself that I needed this experience to grow and learn. What can you walk away from this with? NOTHING, not dignitiy, not respect, not an experience to learn from- basically just another notch in your belt. You wasted not only your time, but more importatly mine. You knew exactly what you were doing to me from the second you met me- you smelled vulnerability and you went in for the kill- and that is sad. You used and abused me, and handed me back my broken heart on a silver platter. It is heart breaking to know there are people like you out there that only care about themselves.
I will leave you with this to answer your last question to me, why do I contact someone whom I think is such a bad person?:

1) I don't think you are a bad person, I know you are
2) I have no answer to your question, you are absolutely right
3) I hope no man treats your daughters the way you treat women, as objects selfishly used in an attempt to fill a void within yourself and temporarily give you the ego stroke, chase and thrill you so desire in the beginning until discarded for the next one.

You are on a never ended search for love but you have no clue what love really means or is. Maybe figure out that first, and who you really are, what you really want (no committments to anyone other than yourself) before F***ing around with other people's hearts/emotions. Love isn't manipulating people with your charm to form them into your idea of perfection just to have them fall for you so you can leave them picking up the pieces. That is an ILLNESS. You are a con artist, and I see right through you.

I would wish you the best, but I am the best, so I'll wish you luck instead.

-No longer yours to "own"