Brand new first post

2 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Sep 12 - 7PM
Anniesmom
Anniesmom's picture

Brand new first post

Why is it that we can tell a friend that we see red flags when they are dating someone that is just not right for them but we fail to see the red flags with a Narcissist? Met him at a bad place to meet men, a bar of all places He was charming and good looking and suave. He was the most sweet and loving guy ever and I was smitten. He would kiss my hand and make me feel like a lady. He for my sympathy when he told me he felt bad he had nothing to offer me. I was blind to the fact that he didn't have a car, lived with his mom, commuted by bus an hour and half and stayed in a motel just to work weekends at a minimum wage job.This was the longest job he had held. He was fired from all of his other jobs, because other people just decided they didn't like him. I felt sorry for him and could not see why people didn't like him. He was so charming and charismatic. 3 months in we were cuddling and I playfully put my hand into his pocket and he jerked away. He tried to get away from me and I felt something in his pocket. His reaction made me curious and I grabbed a plastic bag only to find he had purchased condoms. Not for us. He said they were just incase we broke up because by this time we had started arguing more frequently. I dismissed it. Anyone in their right non narcissist mind would have dumped the guy then and there. I vowed to stay with him and be supportive since everyone else in his life had given up on him and nobody liked this wonderful guy. I can't believe I was swept off my feet by some broke guy with no car. He is 33. I am not bad looking. I was lured in from the start and easily hooked. We dated longer and had the occasional argument where he and I would blame myself. I would beat myself up and ask what should I have done differently. He always threatened to leave. He would get upset over trivial matters and go into a rage and I was not allowed to speak to him or he would leave. This often lasted for hours at a time. If it happened before bed, I would wake up the next morning not knowing if it was okay to talk to him or not. Christmas came and went. His mom bought me a gift that was "from him." New Years came and he had a blow up at his moms house. Instead of a kiss at midnight I spent the new year with his mom talking in her room about his issues. I knew something was off about him but always dismissed it. He had told me he was kicked out of the Navy because he was bullied. His mom told me on New Years that he has issues. We dated a little longer, happy and sad times. The Monday after Valentines Day we argued and he said he wanted a break. I was devastated and heartbroken and didnt know what to do with myself. During the break we would meet up for a day and it would be like old times or we would sleep together but he would never call me. I stayed in touch with his mom and I went to visit her after I had told him I was through with him. We ended up flirting and ended up back together for 3 more months. The arguing was not bad at all this time. but 3 weeks ago he was supposed to meet me at the bus stop so I could pick him up. He had his mother drive him an hour and a half so he could dump me in person. We sat in my car and I listened to him say we arent right for eachother. I told him I want to fix it. I love you. I dont want to break up. Never in my 35 years of life have I begged for a man or asked an ex boyfriend back. I wasnt myself. In the middle of dumping me he says " You never even called me, I called you every other day." He proceeded to pick up his CD case I had borrowed and a CD fell out and he asked angrily why is this out it is going to be scratched. I told him sorry. He said he was hot sitting in the car and his mom was waiting and he had to go. I turned on the AC and opened the vent and put it on him. He insisted he had to go and we could hug.So we hugged in the car and I grabbed the lock of his long hair that I had always grabbbed onto and I said Oh God, and I sobbed. He said sorry and I said sorry. He left. talked to him once on the phone, almost 2 weeks ago. He said we could be friends on Facebook and I have been checking up on him. I have slowly been deleting pictures of him from my phone and Facebook. I am hurting myself by looking at his Facebook. I dont know what I am looking for. He never wrote on my page, but two days after we talked on the phone he commented on a post, I felt this was a game. He has been talking to some other girl. Even though I am talking to guys, this is tearing me up. I have a daughter and he told her he loved her. He never told me he loved me He would say I love you but not in the way that you want. I am just heartbroken and trying to move on at this point. I dont want him back.

Sep 12 - 10PM
fefe65
fefe65's picture

Don't be so hard on