Goodbye Ryan

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#1 Aug 17 - 9PM
Shan's picture

Goodbye Ryan

Dear Ryan,

I am writing you this letter so I can finally get all of my feelings out and let them go for good. I can’t believe I went back to you thinking that things had changed. How could I be so stupid. I can’t believe all of the horrible things you said and did to me… You tried to control me, and you abused me with your passive aggressive ways. Fucking right I had enough of your bullshit, got too drunk and told you off in front of your asshole good for nothing friends who I hate anyways… they all are idiots who you have brainwashed.. and Andrea is a fucking bitch, ( She is ugly and has a body like a 12 year old boy!) I hope I never see her again. It was revenge at it’s finest.. to tell you off and let my emotions flood out of me and expose you to all your so called friends.. who I’ve never met before although I’ve known you for almost 2 years. Then you give me the silent treatment since June 23rd… Really adult-like, and mature Ryan…. Your communication skills need a little work.
You will never find a good woman like me ever again… I hope that your life is and endless pit of empytiness and hell .. ( I feel bad for saying that actually , but I am still in the angry phase). Divorce 2 and 3 will be imminent if you will ever grant your poor first ex wife a divorce.. it’s almost been 5 years so good luck to your next victim dealing with all that shit.
I am tired of your lies, empty promises, victim stories. You are terrible in bed. If you could just stop drinking so much so you could maybe get your dick up, cuz it is nice.. but you don’t know how to use it… only know how to jerk off to your porn.
You fuck, you don’t even know how to connect with a human being to make love. I never had a REAL orgasm with you… EVER… And forcing me onto my stomach EVERY time you were ready to come and fuck me from behind so you don’t have to look at me and connect with me… so pathetic, and boring… The worst sex I ever had… I don’t know how you will ever be able to love or connect with a human being in a healthy way.

Things I will never forget about you: ( I will read this everytime I have a weak moment)

You would say;
Why is it all about you ?
Don’t be crazy
Don’t start
I don’t want to get into this now
Our sex life isn’t what it should be
I can’t give you what you want right now… (OR FUCKING EVER it should have read)
All the times I caught you texting other girls
All the times you probably ( I don’t have proof, but my intuition tells me) cheated on me.. with your ex and with some girl in Costa Rica
All the lies lies lies
How you trick your whole family into thinking you are a great man…
You are a part-time father to your children
How you drink so much everyday to get drunk and then get in your car and drive …
How you show up to work hung over all the time… I hope you never have to put out a fire in my building…!!!!!
How you smoke too much
Asking me to pay the 2500 for your divorce? Like WTF buddy? If you didn’t go on your trip to Jamaica, North Carolina, Ireland and whatever else you could afford it…
How everyone else is crazy
How you never bought me one fucking thing.. Not even a card or flower
How you hardly paid for anything or made me aware of every cent you spent on me..
How you never came to see me … How I drove to see you for an hour every time
How I always made the plans to see each other.. You never initiated
How you never took interest in anything I liked
How you were never wrong
How you never paid any attention to me…
How you’d flirt with other girls right in front of me or let me know how everyone wanted to date or be with you or was still in love with you.
Who is going to put up with a business that you said you created online : where you pimp yourself out to other girls as their date to make their ex’s bf’s jealous… this one made me howl… Like fucking really buddy.. Why even lie about this one… Ridiculous!!!
How you’d completely disregard events that ever happened and made me feel like I was crazy or losing my memory
How you’d always show up late, or drunk, or cancel plans or completely forget
How you’d always say I create drama
OMG .. how you told me you dated the lead singer of Metric and one of the songs was about you… ( I’m laughing again) – I never believed this irrational one…

I will never forget how you just gave me the silent treatment and disposed of me like a piece of trash. Love is unconditional, you do not throw away the people you love.. You work through things. Nobody is perfect.. Oh except you think you are, which is could be no further from the truth..
I feel sorry for your ex wife and your ex gf.. I’m sure you have put them through hell and back. I feel sorry for your kids… you don’t give a shit about them , only yourself. You are not a nice person. You can never be alone or you will feel the emptiness that you are, the sadness, the pathetic shell of a human being that you are..

I thank god that things happened the way they did and I got plastered that night… I’m glad it is over . I will never allow you to hurt me again like you have.. It has forced me to look deep within myself to heal and find out how I allowed you, and many others to treat me this way throughout my life… I am learning to accept and forgive my mom who is also a Narc, and am working through that journey as well. I am good enough, and deserving of a lot better. I am thankful for this journey god has put me on. I’m sure it has a purpose and will lead me towards the life and happiness I am destined to have. It is not too late for me, but I feel it will be for you… I feel sorry for you that you will never have that, and you will die a lonely man.. As you creep closer to 40 and beyond your good looks will fade… It’s already started, I noticed your beer gut and the extra 10-20 lbs on your belly. (no wonder you wanted the lights out every time we had sex >>lol)
You will continue to troll POF looking for all of your victims that you can triangulate and use for your supply…. I know you do not show any empathy or remorse for anything.. nothing is ever your fault … it is always someone else to blame.. I know now you never loved me … It was just hard to finally accept that and let go of you…

I was too smart for you… I am glad I am free of you forever… You will not break my soul… I am being strong for me.. and I no longer give a shit about you … you are so not deserving of a good woman like me!

Peace out!


Nov 20 - 12PM
Happy lover girl
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