Fleeing the Wolf

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#1 Aug 3 - 12PM
fleeingthewolf
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Fleeing the Wolf

I met my N at work. I am a gay woman. At first I appreciated her "confidence." She seemed to be the most charming, beautiful woman I had ever met. Very attractive. Very forward. Complimented me more than any one else has. Moved very fast, spoke of me being "the one" ect. I did notice she shut down, seemed to flip like a switch, but ignored it. I was infatuated. It took about two months for me to see what an emotionally unavailable human being she actually was. It has taken me over a year to reliaze that she has been gaslighting me. That I am in a fog. I see her now, have ripped her mask off entirely. I do not like who I become when near her, but the attraction is odd. It is sort of like they press all the fearful buttons in you. But I got her back. I wore my whore boots, seduced her, slept with her, and then tossed her aside like she meant nothing. I act like she is so insignificant at work, and she cannot stand it!! I told her all the sadisitic things I see in her, and she wants me more!! I have seen her waiting outside in a car, followed me on my streetbike. She is a total stalker, and what baffles me the most, is how they actively slip in their own obsessions to conversations. She was telling me about a woman who was "insecure" and spying on her boyfriend. I said "no, that is not spying. It is stalking!" You should have seen her face. She makes a point of telling me she was near my house. Saw me somewhere ect. All to make me paranoid and anxious. It does! I have never suffered from anxiety before, until she came along. Let's just say I have learned more about human behaviour this past year than in my entire life. Do not underestimate them. They are clever. But you beat them with indifference. They want to see you fucked up and sad. Borderlines are seductive. But I see her for the Monster she truly is, and I like playing back. And I won. Now I am going to try and heal, and go back to the loving, kind, deeply human person I have always been. You will begin to mimic them, become an inverted narcissist if not careful. They will stalk, cajole, beg, manipulate, and lie. They ONLY feel love when being pitied. Go be happy. They hate being left. Narcissists are like crocodiles. They hide their prey under rocks, and return to them as needed, but only to feed. Only to attempt to destroy you. I was willing to love her despite her Monster qualities. I was an idiot. I was in an abusive relationship for over a year! I have tried to get away five times. They feel hollowed out when you leave. It is not like leaving other relationships.

Aug 6 - 3PM
Hunter
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Sorry you are here! Welcome