Robins story

I met my N 2 months after leaving my 22 year marriage, we were at a mutual friends house for a party, his wife wasn't there (she didn't want to go....eye roll). I socialized with him on and off through the night but he was all about me, asking questions etc. He kissed me that night, it was a peck but still not something a married person does. I chalked it up to alchohol....after the party he facebooked me flirting with me, I asked him how married he was he avoided the answer. He talked me into coming to see him where he was fishing just to talk, I went. Nothing happened physically, we just talked, had drinks. Connected.....he told me of his unhappy marriage and how he was getting out. He had been doing the math to make sure he could make it alone financially, he had planned on leaving a few days after we met. From that day on our relationship started, it was intense and fierce, people commented everywhere we went how happy we looked and in love, we were a beautiful couple. He loved all the attention we were getting, he said nobody has ever commented on him and his wife together. He loved everything about me he was all about me and I was all about him. He moved out we went away for the weekend and then he decided he needed to make sure he didn't leave because of me so he went home to make sure. He didn't tell me that he just disappeared......left me bewildered. He then 1 week later on her birthday called me saying I love you I cant live without you, I took him back and he moved out from his wife and back on his own again, we were happy for 2 weeks then he decided he needed to make sure his marriage was over. For various reasons he did this 18 times over the span of a year. His poor wife and I took him back all 18 times. She knew about me, but he lied his ass off to her and everyone else. He knew I was waiting for him, he knew I would take him back everytime. I loved him so much. Funny becuase all the things he loved about me and that I had he ended up tearing apart. All my weaknesses I exposed to him while we were sharing things he used against me and threw them in my face. I threw away all the cards he gave me, thats about all he ever did do for me. While going through all of this I felt like I had given all of myself to him and had nothing to offer anyone again. I did see a great therapist who first introduced me to the word Narcissist. He called me 3 months ago when he moved out from his wife for the 18th time to tell me he loved me so much and I was his, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, gushing with words, words, words, he needed to see me the next day. I felt like he was finally here, he finally saw the light. We hung up with I love yous and can't wait to see you tomorrow. Well tomorrow came and he was distant cold unloving and arrogent. He renamed himself Ronnie Romance, and treated me like I should be lucky to have him with me. I knew then that there was no way I could live with this crap, and my therapist said if I wanted him then my life would look and be like his wifes life, her life was so sad. I see now why she drank, slept all day, she was depressed. I made the decision to go NC but he sucked me in 2 weeks ago by contacting one of my friends. Lesson learned, I won't react again. He is so toxic, and now I feel sorry for him, he works but after work he sits in a shitty bar daily, no relationship with his only son, drinking all the time and sleeping with the married bartender. I have told my friends I don't want to know about him anymore. I am honestly trying to get myself back, one day at a time.