melodysunshine's story

Introduction

I am a 59 year old woman living with a Narcissist. He is dying with multiple myeloma. He has chosen to die at home.

He is very self-absorbed and believes I am NOTHING. I don't do anything for him. It is strange that he actually thinks like this. I am at a loss as to why he can actually think this way.

I am his full time nurse; do all the housework, washing/ironing; shopping/bills and yard work. Yet he does not see this as doing anything for him.

He is extremely angry and uses profane/abusive words to ensure he remains in control.

He has abused the doctor; refuses to get treatment and has caused palliative care to be fearful of treating him. He has hit me over the past few weeks and the abuse is getting worse.

I feel very guilty for hoping that he will die soon. It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to remain calm and not allow his behaviour to get me down.

I will need all the support I can muster when this is all over. I need to understand narcissism and learn from this horrid relationship. I do not EVER want to marry again and I know that it will take years to get over all the abuse he has fired at me.

Melodysunshine