Goodbye Old Friend

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#1 March 10, 2013 - 8:10am
NewMe63
NewMe63's picture

Goodbye Old Friend

Of all the places I would have expected us to end up, this wasn't even a remote possibility. After all the years, that you made me feel like you thought I was the most beautiful, sexiest, greatest woman on the planet...you called me your movie star. I never agreed with you, of course, but was so flattered that you felt that way. It's so hard to believe that that was 26 years of lies...just to keep me around and feed your fragile ego. And now that you aren't in a place where you could consider me an "it" girl anymore, you find someone younger in another world, where you can do the same again, I guess. It's not like I didn't figure out that you were incapable of loving someone the level that I needed you to, but I guess I decided I couldn't have everything. We were best friends, confidants, could talk about nothing in particular for hours, loved traveling together, you loved my kids almost like they were your own. But, of course, you wanted no responsibility but to show up, and that got more seldom as time went by (at least the last couple of years). I figured I was a strong, independent, woman, so I didn't really need your help and support running my life...but I always felt like it would be nice to have someone at my side who shared all of it with me. And I figured out you could never be that guy, but I still miss the other parts. Especially feeling connected to another person. I've always known...for at least 6 years, that the best thing that could possibly happen for my sake was for you to find another girlfriend. Then I would be free to figure out what I really wanted, and who I really am, and go after it. I knew it would be painful, that's why I didn't instigate it, but I had no idea how bad it would really be. I divorced you four years ago...because you wouldn't try to make the marriage work, why didn't you just let me go? Instead of chasing me like a lunatic for 7 months telling me how I was the only thing in the world for you, and that you'd never love anyone else, and that you'd changed, and knew exactly how to be the wonderful husband I needed and wanted. I would have been okay, then. But, no, you had to lull me back with those promises-only to make me a type of co-dependent for the next 3 years, then cheat on me, and eventually get caught and finish us off. We both thought no matter what happened we'd always be friends...and we were wrong. That will never happen. You don't treat your friends like this...so...see ya.