Better than this's story
Better than this's story
So much info to absorb please help and hear my story.
I have been dating a man for a year and a half and I think he is a Narcissist but not sure. I have been on this crazy roller coaster and don't know how to get off.
We work together and I met him at work. He is a Dr. and I am a Pharmacist who runs the pharmacy and other departments. I have always been very outspoken and independent but always a nuturer. When I met him I had no interest in dating or men just taking care of my 2 teenage girls and I was happy and content. He was so charming and swept me off my feet and said all the right things to me. He did move very fast and I allowed it. I should have ran when he told me he had filed bankruptcy, has been married 2 times and the last wife was taken by her father after a slight fight they had.... His first wife according to him was a flaming B***h. I have since met both and both are very nice women who tell me to run and that he will not change. So why cant I just run???
The first time we argued seemed over the top and about something so minor and I did not see him for 2 days and he texted me horrible things. Kind of turned the whole incident into my fault. Why didnt I run then. We have a big argument every six to eight weeks and I always feel beaten down after the whole thing. It is always turned back on me. He calls me a liar and says he cannot trust me. Said I lied from the first day we met....We had agreed after we started to see each other not to mention it to anyone at work, which I didn't except for our first date I told a good friend where I was going and who I would be with just in case....I didnt know him that well yet. He asked if I had told her about us a month into seeing one another and I said no...not thinking about our first date. Then I was caught looking at his phone a couple of times because of suspicious activity, which was confirmed when I looked...I lied and said I didnt look at his phone but then came clean. It was not the fact I looked at his phone that made me lie, it was that I felt like I had to and I was a snoop and I was embarrassed. This obviously set me up as a compulsive liar in his eyes and every argument would turn back to those two facts.
I would find him sexting and receiving provocative pictures from other women. I confronted him and he said that he did not know we were exclusive but would like to be. This happened several times, why did I not leave when I suspected he was cheating????
My 16 year old at the time was playing basketball and he always went to the games with me. I am close to my girls and my front door is a revolving door for all teenagers as I always want my home to be a place my girls want to come to and bring their friends. I love all their friends even the unlovable ones. My daughter is an excellant athlete and beautiful and has dated several young men over her HS career and I have become friendly with all her young men. On one particular night of a ballgame this one young man came and sat by me....he was actually sitting by the young lady a seat down from me but by me as well. My daughter has dated him a few times off and on early in HS. He is a good kid and had to jerk himself up. He is always friendly and flirty in his hello's, not just to me but to everyone. I do not remember the encounter but I am sure I hugged the young man and patted him on the leg and had teenage conversation with him for a short time. His version is that I rubbed my leg against him sexually and he is accusing me of having some other type of relationship with him other that a friendly one. I have no idea what he is talking about and he did not even bring it up for a month or so when we had another argument about something.
When I explained the relationship to him he called me a liar and told me I had better tell him the extent of the relationship with him and details. He said he didnt care if I had something at one time, he just wants me to be honest about it. He will not believe the truth, I have begged him to ask anyone or investigate it further. My daughter read on of the accusatory texts and got so upset..she talked to my sister and told the young man who is her very good friend. This has gotten so far out of control. This occured about a year ago and every argument ends up me being a liar and if I dont confess the truth then we cant go on. Nothing I say will convince him. He has made this whole scenario up in his mind. I am absolutely hurt and devastated.
We always argue when I have found an inappropriate text or when I confront him on any issue and not even in a threatening way. If I just ask him if something is wrong he blows up and says I am verbally attacking him, which is the reason for the last exodus. This is the longest we have been apart.....2 weeks and he has blocked my number so "he wont be tempted to contact me", this after I would not respond to his accusations. I am spent and confused. I keep thinking if he would just believe me everything would be ok. Is he a Narcissist or am I crazy. He fits the description. He just asked me to marry him about a month ago and bought me a ring and 2 weeks later he says he cant be with me. For a while he texted and texted threatening me and would tell me to leave him alone, which I did and then he got mad I would not talk to him. What is going on... please help I am sinking and losing my mind. I live in a small rural town with no counseling anywhere close and I feel hopeless.