The "Real" Goodbye Letter
The "Real" Goodbye Letter
I will always hope that one day you find peace within. I'm sorry you were abused as a child and that the pain you feel is so overwhelming that you cannot help but find fault in others rather than yourself. As much as I would love to hate you passionately for the rest of my life, I choose instead to not so I can really be released from this Hell I have been living in. After all, hate in my heart and head would destroy me and I will not allow you in anyway to damage me again.
I know that there are things about myself that need to be “fixed” and will seek out professional help as I do not have all the answers. I cannot and will not leave this Earth having not tried to heal the many wrongs that were done to me as a child which I was unable to control or stop. And I will no longer allow the hurts of the past to define my future.
I have learned so much about myself through the pains of our relationship. I truly, thank you for reopening the wounds I thought were long gone. Because of you, I can take the most painful parts and have a starting point in which to begin again the journey to fully recover from the abuse I have suffered in my lifetime.
I'm having difficulty fully forgiving you now; but I forgive the part of you that has hurt me because your long unhealed wounds are still open and much too painful for you to feel. The one thing I have done in the past and will continue to do is overcome with complete understanding what keeps me from reaching my fullest potential. I will continue to strive toward the ultimate feeling of peace and contentment.
I am a compassionate and empathetic soul sometimes to my detriment; but will find through this most painful time in my life, who I am and finally make decisions for my future based upon my needs. I will work diligently to have and keep boundaries with any person I come in contact with. I will for the first time in my life, make these boundaries unbreakable.
I am strong and capable. I am loving and lovable. I am kind and considerate. I am deserving of the best of treatment not because I am special; but because I have for too long allowed others needs, moods and opinions convince me I didn't. I can no longer believe that our relationship can be repaired as it is fatally flawed. I couldn't have loved someone more, but realize that the behaviors I have engaged in throughout it are not healthy and have become an addiction.
It’s time to let the fairy tale go and get down to the reality of cleaning up what disarray loving you has left me in. The biggest lesson I learned in all of this is: I will NEVER again become so depressed that I try to end my life. My life is WORTH living and it is far from being over.
I will miss you, the one in the fairy tale; but it's now time for Sleeping Beauty to wake the Hell up and get started living the rest of her life without you in it.