30 days NC....thank god for this website

This morning I woke up feeling heavy. Something triggered (I have many) and I was reminded of some of the more sweet moments my exN and I had. I felt so sad then I reminded myself of all of the bullshit he put me through. I had this inner urge pulling at me to contact him, so I went on this website to remind me to stay strong. I have never been able to hold out this long from him. He tried to see me a couple of weeks ago at work but I avoided him. That felt like progress. Today I feel like a weepy mess. He did so much damage to me and I am working on trying to figure out who I am but feel like I'm in this giant fog. I have trouble looking in the mirror. "Who am I?" Is a frequent question that runs through my head.

I am grateful for this website. I am grateful for all of the brave souls who have put themselves out there and shared their stories. I am grateful that this website is here to help with my healing.

I look forward to a time when I can stand tall and be sure of who I am and let the exN be a distant memory.