Renae40's Story

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#1 Dec 31 - 2PM
Renae40
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Renae40's Story

So confused

I met a guy (45) on an online dating site. I had talked with him several years ago but hadn't officially met him. We started to chat online and we only lived about a mile apart so we decided to meet at his house one night and we took his dog for a walk. At that first meeting I didn't really get the impression he was into me, after talking later that night he said he felt the same way about me. Thr next day he deleted his online dsting profile and said he wanted to see where things could go with us. I was very flattered and deleted mine as well.

We began talking and texting daily. We got together only a few times since we both have kids and our kids were gone at different times so we weren't always able to see each other often. He did get very upset at me one time and said he didnt think things were going to work between us because he thought I only wanted a talking texting relationship and that he wanted more. I said I wanted more as well but it wasn't always possible with kids. He then told me about a woman he dated that lived 45 miles away and was able to see her everyday and I said it wasn't always possible with the kids and he said well she had 5 babies. He said there is no reason we shouldn't be able to see each other everyday since we lived so close, I said I would try but it may only be possible after kids are in bed, etc. and I even apologized thinking it was a big miscommunication. Later day he told me he was going to be busy until after 6 pm but that we could talk then, when I asked why he said him and his kids had started an online game and it wouldn't be over until then, I drove by thinking maybe he had a woman over and saw him riding behind his son on a motorcycle. I couldn't confront him as he was always saying how important trust was. He texted me right at 6 and said he could talk. I called him and got his voicemail, he texted saying he was on the other line with him mom and it would be a while that she was very chatty. An hour and 1/2 later he called and cleared the air. The next few days he had an excuse why he couldnt see me. I blew it off as I know we all get busy, but in the back of my mind I was thinking it was very strange considering he was the one wanting to see each other everyday.

He then began very quickly saying he wanted to get the kids together, he said we needed to make sure that was all going to mesh together. I wasn't comfortable with that since it had only been a few weeks but agreed to meet To go to one of the local church's to look at Christmas lights. When we arrived he did not make any introductions. We walked around looking at lights (him with his kids and we were walking behind them) after we left he sent a text saying how awkward that was (I was like yeah,what make you think it was awkward) he said you guys didn't even try to talk or interact with us at all.....I was so shocked! I was like, well you didn't even introduce us , we didn't even know your kids names or anything. He never apologized just said maybe Next time he would take me and my boys separate and then me and his boys separate and then try to get them together again.

He wanted to take me and his boys to dinner that following week so we went to dinner, everything went fine, then the weekend came and all our kids were gone so we spent it together. He talked a lot that weekend, revealed he masturbated 3-4 times daily, revealed when he was married his wife had a woman lover and that although he didnt join them he said she could keep her as long as he was allowed to watch. He also did some things in the bedroom that were a little freakier than I was accustomed to and anytime we made love he wanted me to tell him that my pu$$y was his (which I did but felt like he was a dog marking his territory).

The next Monday came and he wanted to take me and my kids to dinner. We went but anytime my kids started talking about themselves he would change the subject onto his kids. I didn't see him Tuesday and the he texted me Wed at noon and asked to see me that night I said sure what are we doing where are we going? He said he didnt care that it was up to me. 6:00 came and he texted asking what the plan was and I said I was starving and let's go get something to eat. He said well, I have already eaten. I said what? Why? You knew we had plans. He said well I didn't know we had dinner plans. I was like wtf? Wow! I then said I am staving and I'm going to get me something to eat, and hoped he had a good evening. He said well what does that mean? Am i not going to get to see you at all? I never replied as I was very upset.

Next morning at 7:30 he texted me and said he wanted to break up. That we didnt communicate well and without communication there was no us. I was shocked but very much in agreement at the time because I was still very angry about the night before, later that night I sent him a text saying I hoped he wasn't angry and that I wished we could talk that I did like him and we just needed to work on our communication, he ended up calling me and began screaming at me saying that I had lied about deleting my online dating accounts and had been doing searches and I said I had deleted my account and the only search I had done was to see if he was online and he said I was a liar and that I needed to admit that I was wrong and that I had lied, I said I did not lie and he said it was out on the server and that the server doesn't lie. The conversation ended shortly after that because I wasn't going to convince him otherwise.

He texted me the next day saying he did not want to communicate with me any longer and that he had blocked me from Facebook (which we weren't even friends on anyway) and that he was going to block my number.

I sent him a text a few weeks ago telling him how I felt he had used me, and that he had used the kids to try and earn my trust so that i would sleep with him, he said how did I use the kids? By taking them out to eat? And he threatened to file a PO against me. I said I guess he knew all about that since he had plenty of those filed against him. He denied this and I came to the conclusion I was wasting my time tslking to him. So I paid the $4.99 a month to block him from my phone (not that I think he would ever contact me but I didnt want to live in fear every time my phone went off that it might be him.

I have a friend who is an attorney and was able to see the PO his ex wife filed against him in Jan 2012. (she filed for a divorce in 2004 but it wasn't final until 2007). I say this only because it has been many years since their divorce but she claimed be acquired the key from his kids (who use it to get in after school) took a shower, a nap and shaved while her and her husband were at work. She also said he came barging into her house one morning screaming at the kids calling them liars because she had texted him saying they bad told her their soccer clothes were at his house and she needed them to wash them. That she had put them into counseling and the counselor would not see them if he was there....there was a lot more that was very frightening,

I was so confused by it all because he was so charming and made me think he really cared about me, I have remained NC for 2 weeks now and the fog has finally cleared. I am still somewhat confused by some of it and may ever have the answers. My therapist said he is a sociopath and if I ever see him to run the other direction. Although I know and knew from the beginning he was bad news I still am not back to my self yet.

Any words of wisdom would be so welcomed.

Jan 5 - 11AM
Renae40
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NC is the ONLY way to go

Jan 2 - 3AM
talktothehand
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Using

Jan 2 - 4AM (Reply to #7)
Renae40
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Done

Jan 5 - 11AM (Reply to #9)
fionah
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Lies

Jan 2 - 6AM (Reply to #8)
talktothehand
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Renae

Jan 1 - 10PM
EL8
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Glad you got out!

Jan 2 - 4AM (Reply to #5)
Renae40
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Thanks

Dec 31 - 7PM
Renae40
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I know

Jan 2 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
spinning
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Dearest Renae,

spinning

Jan 2 - 10AM (Reply to #3)
Renae40
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I have heard that from a