Goodbye you a**hole
Goodbye you a**hole
You came into my life like a soft breeze and left like a hurricane. You left destruction behind you like a storm, uncaring of what life you ruined. Congratulations, it is now the end of the year, a year of pure hell, and I am, by far, in a worse place than I was when the year started. And most of that is attributed to you. Nice job. I got hit up by a Narc and never knew what was happening until it was too late.
You reminded me yesterday of just how long it had been since you ended us. On Christmas. What an asshole you are. Shame on me for allowing myself to communicate with you. You preyed on my sympathies once again and like the fool, I took the bait. Because I am a good person, and I always try to believe in the innate goodness of others. However, I know now that you don't have any. I have no idea of how many other lives you have ruined, but I do know that there is a special place in hell for assclowns like you.
I wish I could just tell you to fuck off. I really do. But you are so conflicted and crazy that telling you that would probably be taken as encouragement to you to go right ahead and try to ruin my life just a bit more. It is by the grace of God that I was able to maintain my resolve against your relentless threats, stalkings, and harassments and be where I am now. Yes, I am alone, and probably will be for awhile. I am very fearful of allowing anyone into my life. Thanks for that. This is so not the life I envisioned for myself, and I am busting my hump trying to make ends meet, stay positive, and start to look ahead. I allowed myself to fall in love with you and give everything I had emotionally to you. I believed you when you said you loved me, silly girl. You love no one but yourself. And daily I sift through the emotional rubble, dust myself off, and plant a smile on my face. I do this because I am not going to allow you in any way to control me anymore.
I need to maintain my resolve to stay the hell away from you. Not just in person, but from your texts, and your calls, and your e-mails. I have to see you because of work, and that's brutal enough. I hope that your wife and other girlfriend(s) never have to experience your hell. You hurt me unlike any other has. And I allowed you into my life and into my heart. In a nutshell, you showed your appreciation by screwing me over two sides to Sunday.
I keep telling myself that I am a good person. That I am worth loving. But I still don't believe it just yet. Because I still feel like a fucking moron for loving you as much as I did. And allowing you to wreak havoc in my life. I thought I was smarter than that, but apparently not. Falling in love with you was easy, falling out of it has been like hitting a brick wall at 70 mph. Over and over.
Even in this letter I have given you too much of my time. Goodbye you jackass, I wish you no harm as that isn't how I am, but I certainly hope karma comes back and bites you in the ass someday. I will manage, and someday I hope to find a love that is real. Or at least someone who isn't a crazy bastard like you are.
Wishing you happiness (one of those crock of crap lines you used to tell me in your countless goodbye texts to me),