claud_mike's story - part 1

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#1 Dec 9 - 11AM
claud_mike
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claud_mike's story - part 1

Wasn't even in a 'relationship' and he screwed me over! Part 1

I love this blog. I only wish I found it 3 months ago.

I worked with N. We were in the same team but did not actually do work together.

I don't know how it happened, but he clearly targetted me. My husband was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer mid last year, and after his treatment, he was at home for several months. (he used to work around the corner, so we used to catch up for lunch) While I was 'free', N & I started having lunch and coffee. We hit it off straight away and got on like a house on fire. We used to just banter and bicker like little kids or an old married couple. It was fun and a much needed distraction for me.

He was in a long term relationship, and proposed to his GF earlier this year.

We still hung out, had lunch and coffee for the 2 days a week we were both in the office at the same time. All the signs were there. He was arrogant & condescending. Thought himself above everyone else. Insisted on wearing suits to work even though we worked in a smart-casual office (just to stand out). And he told me he had no relationship with his father, who had never praised him as a child and nothing he did was good enough. His arguments were so nonsensical and illogical - it was so frustrating arguing with him but I guess I liked to think I held my own. And I guess while we made fun of each other, I thought myself higher up the food chain than everyone else he dismissed just because I was worthy of his time and attention.

I knew he wasn't a very nice person. But I found it amusing. And the arguments, while frustrating, were still exhilarating.

Then our relationship changed 3 months ago. At one lunch, he told me how jealous his fiancee got because he was just so super flirty with all the girls at work and he just couldn't help it. I laughed at his arrogance, thinking he was BS-ing, and then asked 'So what does she think of you and I having lunch all the time?' And he spun me a line about how he told her I was actually a guy so she wouldn't get jealous.

But he played me. Coz after that I got OBSESSED. Could not get him out of my head. He never said anything outright. But to me, it was like 'what is he doing?'

And then we went out to drinks a few days later one evening after work. (first and only time) He was fighting with the fiancee and she wasn't talking to him. He wouldn't say why. But intimated it was about me - looked at me and said "_you_ know why" (AGAIN PLAYING ME). And when we walked from the pub to the train, I passed a foodcourt and said 'oh i didn't know this was here - why don't we ever go?' And he said 'we?' Like there was a 'we' in more than the conversational sense.

Then we started messaging. Texting, emailing, facebook. Nothing sexual. Banter and insults. But he kept replying. And I kept replying. It was exciting. I knew it wasn't right. But I was addicted.

Then I got news that my husband's cancer had spread and his grandmother passed away. I sent 3 or 4 texts too many without a reply. Looking for a cheer-up.

I got a 'dude, you've got to relax with the messages'. Initially I was very hurt. Hadn't he messaged me as much? By then he had messed up my head. And I convinced myself i had imagined it all.

This was 2 days before we were due to go on a big trip, my husband's bucket list trip, and I was taking a month off work. So I said 'fine, see you when I get back. Little did I know that was the beginning of the D&D.

While we were away, I still thought about him too much.

My husband got very ill while we were away, and spent a month in and out of hospital the day we got back, and passed away at the end of October.

So you can see, I was not in a good place.

I did not go back to work apart from one day early October. He had another lunch date and went to coffee without me. (already moved on)

The next day, my husband went back to hospital. It was very scary. I texted him 'can you say something funny to cheer me up?' which he did for a few messages and then made an excuse about going to bed.

Over the next few days, i sent him a few messages, looking for something to lift my spirits. No reply.

So by then he knew I needed him, so began his D &D. Ignored me. I wrote to him 'Are you ignoring me?". His reply "Um, don't know what you mean."

After another non-descript reply to another message, I lost the plot and wrote him an angry FB message (so I could see that he had read it) asking where my friend had gone because I really needed the support of all my friends at this time.

Reply: "I think you're taking this a bit too far and I really can't offer you anything outside of work. That's just the way I am and you need to respect that. Let's just stick to work and leave it at that."

This is taking a while, so I'm splitting it. Part One.

Thank you for reading.

Dec 13 - 2PM
notyourgirl
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I think you spoke volumes

Dec 9 - 4PM
rosedewittbukater
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He is not a nice person