StandingTall2's Story

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#1 Dec 2 - 7AM
StandingTall2
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StandingTall2's Story

Dodged a bullet!

I'm doing SO well now, but am still going to share my brief story.
"Two months with a Narcissist"
We met on a specialized dating site. He's in NY-me in TX. I'm looking to relocate to the east coast so it made sense to do some recon beforehand as I've been a workaholic for far too long and chose to open myself up to a relationship. Enter "John."
Handsome, funny, seemingly sweet, attentive and always in contact. I never suspected anything other than the fact he was just very interested. What few red flags that did pop up were explained away. After nearly two months of lengthy phone calls, emails, constant text messages, I flew to NY to meet him. And the connection seemed right-as though we had known one another forever. I even met his two daughters. But when I returned? That's when the weirdness really started. He suddenly pulled away and I was left scratching my head going "What?!" I finally put it all together when I saw him back on the dating site, called him out on it and his response (via text) was that he was "comparing me to other women yet none compared." Nonetheless, I was not amused and wrote a goodbye email (in shock) but knowing it was the healthiest thing for me to do. After hearing "you're the best woman I've ever met, beautiful inside and out, I'm falling in love with you" blah blah blah, I began to seriously examine things. And I researched like a madwoman. I inevitably deduced he was the poster boy for the American Psychiatric Association's segment in the DSM-IV for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. And once I read the symptoms and etiology for NPD, I recognized I saved myself from sliding down into a place that so many on this site have slid. My heart goes out to those of you who believed and stayed. The masters of manipulation are a pathetic lot indeed and for someone like myself with an undergrad degree in Interpersonal Comm and a minor in Psych, it was a very hard pill to swallow knowing I was taken in by his manipulation. I've gone through the healing stages already, and I am okay. But taking responsibility for myself and my own mental well being was crucial to getting past everything. I believed. I allowed myself to become emotionally attached. And even after I ended things, he still tried to maintain his supply with me by telling me (via text)he had found a new girlfriend. I was not affected by his words given I was so well armed with knowledge. I have had no communication with him for nearly two weeks now and see he is still on the dating site perusing profiles and searching for more supply. I believe if I weren't so mentally strong and astute I would have perhaps maintained contact as my heart was lagging behind what my brain knew was right. I even went so far as to post on the dating site in a public forum a message to women in NY to beware of the man. To date? 29 people read the posting. Will it stop his predatory ways? Probably not, but at least it may keep other women from becoming involved. Let me say too, that my two months with a narcissist has not curtailed me from the belief that there is a good man out there. I know there is, and he will be a poster boy for normalcy! ;)

Dec 3 - 3AM
Hunter
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Welcome to Narcville.. Hunter