imagoodperson's story

catastrophic hurt and confusion

To think I have always been sceptical about labelling people with psychiatric illnesses but after what has happened to me I cannot ignore the fact I m dealing with an extreme N. Over the 28 years of our marriage of course there were signs but I learned to adapt and carry on with as little turmoil as possible. I should have realized no one else liked his behaviour. On occaision his work colleagues would tell me how sorry they felt for me ! I still didn't get it ...just an a***h** right?
I didn't get it until the affairs started -he D&D one OW two years ago and now he has walked away from me , our children, our house,our dogs...not just walked away-he has ERASED us . He is totally consumed with his new OW. It is if the last 28 years did not happen. There were no good times. Everything is my fault-including the affairs of course. He told our adult daughter we only had her to give his father his first grandchild before he died from cancer.. he has attempted to mess with my reality and destroy my past memories. What would he do if we sat him down with the photograph albums and happy home videos??
He is obsessed with denying that I have sacrificed anything for his children and his career when I have sacrificed more than most by moving our whole family across the Atlantic to do just that. Why is he so adamant that he didn't need me to do those things when I had very little choice and did them for our family without regret and with love in my heart?
It is early on in my journey and I know a lot has to happen to get to the other side. I am grateful for all of you out there and wish for happier times for us all.