GenuineHeart's Story

I met my last N online, on a dating site. We were around the same age, he was 2 years younger, had similar interests and lived in the same town. He wasn't all that physically attractive, but he seemed like a fun guy. I wasn't looking for anything serious, as I had been married twice before (2nd one was a N also and is now in prison).
We emailed back and forth and finally we met. I was disappointed in him, he just came across as really dorky, but kinda sweet. the second time I met him, he looked awful and exhausted. I met him for lunch on a Saturday. I had rode my Harley to the restaurant and he was waiting outside. The first thing he said was 'sure, it figures your bike would be bigger than mine'. Red Flag #1. During the course of lunch, we discovered that our now grown children (23) were friends in high school and his daughter really liked me to the point she thought of me as a second Mom. Something happened between the girls and they had a falling out, so they were no longer close.
There was something there that kinda intrigued me, so we had a friendship for about 3 months, mostly just texting and emails. Three months later, we met at a bar and we finally kissed for the first time. It was raining lightly and we just stood in the rain making out like teenagers. It was pretty nice.
I liked him and I guess I was confused that what he said didn't always match what he did. He always said he wished he could spend more time with me, but his daughter, 17, always needed something. Help with school work, he had to clean the house, birthday party for his sister, always some excuse. Once he stopped by on his way home from 'something' to give me a hug and just say goodnight. He would leave flowers on the porch at my house with little love notes and stuffed animals. When he did spend time with me, he could never stay the night because his daughter needed him. Again, she's 17?
Seven months into this relationship, I sent a Facebook message to his older daughter, the one I knew from way back when. I told her that I hope she didn't think that it was weird that I was dating her dad.
She responded that she was happy that we were happy, but wasn't happy due to the fact that he was still MARRIED to her mom.
I told her I had no idea. I had asked him repeatedly about when his divorce was settled and he said he'd been divorced for four years. He had mentioned a previous relationship with another woman who in his words was 'a crazy drunk bitch'.
I had met and hung out with both his daughters and neither one of them gave me a clue he was married. I told the other girl that I won't get in the middle of this and that I'll stop seeing him.
Two hours later, I get a text saying that he's threatening suicide. I didn't respond. I finally called him and asked him WTF? Why did you lie to me for 7 months? He said that if he told me the truth, I wouldn't see him. Well, Duh.
He said he wanted to get divorced and that he didn't have the money. I told him that he could get a pro se divorce for a mere $128.00 for filing fees. I had done it for my second divorce. So guess what?
I moved him into my house, in the guest room and started divorce proceedings. Ugh.
Divorce went smooth. He was sweet, helpful around the house, would bring me a cup of coffee in the morning, take care of the pets so I could sleep in on Saturday. I wasn't charging him rent cuz I figured that he needed it for the fallout to his divorce,and besides, I make a decent living and was covering everything before. He never paid when we went out.
I allowed this because, well, I'm old (50) overweight (30 lbs) and suffer from chronic depression. I should be overjoyed that a member of the opposite sex even looks at me.
We took trips to Nevada, to San Francisco, had romantic weekends at Bed and Breakfasts, all financed by me. He would make some token contribution, but not much. And always the excuses. Always running his younger daughter here and there. She hadn't graduated high school, she was 18, by this time, was in an online school, because she couldn't handle real school and had no drivers license. Then, I found out that he was still running his ex to and from work a couple times a week. She also doesn't drive. He would take her grocery shopping, because his younger daughter lived there and she wouldn't have anything to eat. He would call her landlord to fix problems, or att if the cable went out. I broke up with him. #1
To be continued...