Counselor's Take

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#1 Sep 24 - 3AM
Anonymous (not verified)
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Counselor's Take

i have been seeing a counselor about my N, and her perspective is interesting.

Albeit she is certainly not taking the N's side, she doesn't believe he is a terrible person...she believes he is someone that needs to have women like him and will do whatever it takes to be accepted over and over again by different women. She didn't even like the word "manipulative" because she doesn't think that is his intention...he just says and does what it takes to keep everyone happy so he isn't abandoned. Yes, it isn't a happy way to lead his life and he's always looking over his shoulder, but it's how he lives his life and he will never change,

With that said, it's my behavior toward him that is important. If I accept that is how he is, and can live with hearing from him every two weeks, and enjoy the time spent with him, then there isn't a problem. If I am hurt, anxious and non-functional...then I need to get out.

So the last time I saw him, it was rough sex and him telling me what a great friend I am, and then he was out the door. Then he left town without telling me, sent one text to let me know he wasn't available, but would love for me to drop food by his house sometime soon,

I try to believe that I do accept who he is and can live with it. But I'm fooling myself and am anxious and humiliated every time I give in to him, and then he disappears. But then I vacillate and think, well...he does care about me...so maybe I can live my life and just enjoy those times we are together. But it isn't working so well. I may be selfish, but I don't really like sharing. ;-)). Sitting in my home paralyzed with depression doesn't seem particularly healthy.

So still confused but trying to get him out of my center and live the healthy and fun life I had two years ago.

Thanks for listening.

Sep 29 - 7AM
tresor2
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She's saying he needs another narc

Sep 28 - 5PM
brinamarie
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Your therapist is summarizing

Sep 26 - 11AM
Hunter
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Ok I may be missing something

Sep 26 - 9AM
GracefullyFree
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Therapists

Sep 26 - 4AM
evergreen
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YOUR NEEDS NOT HIS!

Sep 26 - 1AM
Warrior
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Change your counselor and

Sep 25 - 10PM
neverlookback
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be

Sep 28 - 5PM (Reply to #35)
IncognitoBurrito
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Oh my

Sep 25 - 8PM
Im_always_fine
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Perhaps your counselor would

Sep 25 - 8PM
Owliegyrl
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You don't seem too happy to

Sep 25 - 9PM (Reply to #32)
Im_always_fine
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I'm sorry for laughing! I

Sep 25 - 5PM
Deidre99
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as long as you keep this

Sep 26 - 6AM (Reply to #30)
mystwoman
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I totally agree with Deidre

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Sep 25 - 5PM
rosedewittbukater
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Dear Nancy

Sep 25 - 4PM
TruthbeginsToday
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I had one therapist tell me

Sep 25 - 4PM
Journey
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So in otherwords, if you can

Journey on...

Sep 26 - 3AM
onwithmylife
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Nancyw

Sep 25 - 4PM
lessonlearned
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please please please

Sep 24 - 5AM
tryingtorecover
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Nancy's

Sep 24 - 5AM (Reply to #23)
tryingtorecover
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Edit

Sep 24 - 5AM
Pearl430
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My therapist's take

Sep 24 - 5AM (Reply to #2)
Nancyw (not verified)
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Not

Sep 26 - 5AM (Reply to #21)
evergreen
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ABANDON HIM!

Sep 25 - 2PM (Reply to #3)
Sickofhim
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It's not that simple....

Sep 25 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
Nancyw (not verified)
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last night

Sep 26 - 12PM (Reply to #20)
Janie53
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Nancy

Sep 26 - 5AM (Reply to #19)
evergreen
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ADIOS!

Sep 25 - 5PM (Reply to #18)
Sickofhim
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Crumbs....

Sep 25 - 5PM (Reply to #17)
Im_always_fine
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As soon as you started the

Sep 25 - 4PM (Reply to #16)
Journey
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Nancy, you just described

Journey on...