A new one

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#1 September 13, 2012 - 9:25am
imok123
imok123's picture

A new one

Here is an email she sent me in response to the email I sent yesterday telling her how the children are sad and keep texting me etc. My responses are inside the *** LOL See if you can spot what I do.
Names are changed for privacy purposes.
_________________________________________________________

i am aware how sad (her child) is...i am with him every day...i talk to him...and he talks to me...i am aware he talks to the school therapist every friday...i know he misses you...i know he sleeps with the snow globe of yours by his bed...i know he texts you...i know he calls you...

these are all things that have been going on for a year and a half...****(except you left out that he had hope for most of that time…I did too…because let’s face it…even though you say we were not together we certainly were…we did spend time with each other, and text each other, and visit each other, and I helped you and the kids and bills and emotional support, and we did things with the kids together) how is that not together?…distance cannot stop love..especially if its temporary….like we talked about… (I won’t even go into why I moved in the first place…but I was willing to move back for you)…just because you say it wasn’t so you can blame me for leaving doesn’t make it so…That is a tactic your ex uses quite often. Just because he says it…it must be the truth right? You are starting to believe your made up stories as to what really happened…just like he does***… and i know you are the major reason why he talks about his feelings at all...***(yep, and we together as a family were why the kids were happy)***

but that doesn't fix things between you and me...***(nope, and the only thing that would is counseling and compromise, but evidently that is too much work on your part)*** and you can think anything you want of me, that i am just like (her sister), i have narcisstic tendencies, that i am just with (OW) because of sex or butterflies, that i never loved you(*** no way you could have…if you love someone you don’t treat them like shit, lie, hide and disrespect and emotional affairs…like you always did. I put up with a lot for the kids…I did love you, but I didn’t like you a whole lot of the time… my compromise, and time and effort and love was one sided…I can see that now.)***, that i am an overall bad person...but don't ever tell me that i am a bad mother or that i don't put the feelings of both boys first and foremost in my life...***( Yep, putting me out of their lives so you can (feel) good for a moment instead of working on the life they had with two loving parents is putting them first. Of course you feel good now..you are in the honeymoon stage. Wait until it gets old, and/or boring like we were, or there is work involved in keeping a relationship together. Wait until she wants something from you, like…commitment or I don’t know…help, support, or respect or anything you were never willing to give to me). You will not change, just because you have someone new…except you will mirror what you think she wants at first just to please her and keep it going. How do I know??? I can see your history plain as day, with me and with your ex. Except that I loved you for who you are no matter what. That is the only difference, I know who and what you really are, and still loved. I doubt someone like (OW) will put up with what I did out of you for long. She has too much life to live to let you suck the emotional hell out of her. Plus she is not attached to nor did she raise your kids, so when she is done with you, she will be gone for good! She didn’t sacrifice her life for you and the kids.***

i have tried to be friendly ***(ignoring is not friendly…it’s abusive.***)...and i didn't know how that would be ***( you chose what would be***)...if we would be friends or if we would just talk about the boys...and i have been very patient with the outbursts from you ***(you have, I have been very very hurt)***...i have been taking the texts and the emails and not really paying that much attention to them, because i know you are just acting out...but i am done ***( you were always done, as soon as I stood up to you and your abuse of stonewalling me, and shushing me, and disrespect…I had to go! I figured you out, and therapy made you uncomfortable because you had to see who you are… and deal with it in an adult fashion..) Play your high school games of (come here “I do love you” now go away) on her now for it is I who am truly done with you…I used to feel sorry for you, because of your past, and I would defend you and stand up for you until the end because I truly thought you couldn’t help how you acted… but I see you for who you are…even if you don’t…***

we both fucked up** ( we did, and I accept my part, but I was willing to try to fix it…even now)***...and if we could turn the clock back, i know we both would do different things...at least i know i would do things differently ***(really? I don’t believe you at all, you have lied to me so many times, how can I believe a single thing from you?)***...but we can't turn the clock back...i can only look forward...

and right now, that is making sure the boys are happy and healthy...and to make sure i am happy and healthy ***( then get into a good therapy, and take care of your issues…I would even be willing to go with…)***...because if i am not, i am no good for the boys...you taught me that ***(yep)***...like you have taught me so much...and i will never be able to thank you for everything you taught me ***(how fucking gracious of you..gag)***..

eventually, i would like to be friends...but right now, i can't be...i have to move forward ***(lol…forward will not happen hun, until you deal with what happened to you, and who you are. YOU have no idea who you really are…You are playing at moving forward, but it’s not real …it’s not real..its all pretend, just like you telling everyone you killed your parents in high school…all fake…I have shouted the warnings from the top of the roof, professed my love, offered to compromise, and even do therapy….you will have none of it… Even our past experiences through the years means nothing to you because you refuse to face reality, and deal…you are hiding…that’s all I can say…I see the pattern…why don’t you??? She is me…I was her…even your kids can see that she looks like me. You are fooling yourself, and even (OW) for now (which is really cruel and unfair), but you are not fooling anyone else who loves you and knows you…Don’t’ think your aunt and uncle haven’t talked…I don’t know what else to do or say, you used to listen, but you have grown cold…I’m out..I have to be for my own health…I am moving forward, I am working on me now…I’ve done all I can for you. Peace ***

September 13, 2012 - 12:12pm
imok123
imok123's picture

Understand

September 13, 2012 - 1:49pm (Reply to #6)
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

The only sense I can make of

September 13, 2012 - 11:45am
spinning
spinning's picture

Imok, yesterday you were

spinning

September 13, 2012 - 12:07pm (Reply to #4)
imok123
imok123's picture

Thank you

September 13, 2012 - 11:22am
Hunter
Hunter's picture

I don't understand this??

September 13, 2012 - 11:36am (Reply to #2)
Used
Used's picture

Neither do I