(not so) Quiet reflection

As I've taken a week off work to "heal", It clicked at 4:30 this morning....dammit, heal!!!!And I'm waiting....and waiting....I want some graceful words to come out of my mouth...I want to wow someone with my insight....but it's just not happening...

I had a good crying jag last night, for no apparant reason really....It just amazes me what "social media" and cell phones have done to our lives....

I have 3 children...a 32 old son who is married, has given me 2 grandsons with another due the first of october...they live about an hour and a half from me, so as a result, I don't see them much...I received, get this, a facebook invitation to the baby shower being held this coming Sunday...FACEBOOK!!!!!REALLY???????Let's just pile hurt on top of hurt....I'm one of the grandmas!!!!!Don't I deserve a fucking phone call???????????

And all that drama in my head makes me think about all the damn text messages over the years from xn....no voice contact...holding a phone in my hand for days during all the sts...praying for contact....praying for the abuse I called love from this man....knowing he was partying it up, probably drunk on his ass, thinking he was with his "buddies" (and he probably still thinks he has "buddies" when in reality no one can stand him...omg...how could I miss this red flag????)

I guess I am learning...slowly, but surely...think I'll call someone today....

Love you guys!!!