Radiolady's Story

Radiolady on low frequency

I was fortunate enough to find this site after my doctor advised me to google "NPD"....I went in for an appointment and broke down, having just been dumped by a guy I met on Match 2 months earlier. She was quite concerned about me, and told me she was going to give me some 'tough love.' I promised her I'd google the issue and had this sinking feeling as I saw my former boyfriend described on the websites on NPD!

I was usually the cautious one and would try to keep my boundaries firmly in place. We come from Canada/US, so we had some challenges as he didn't have a passport and I did. We made it work by meeting at a designated place in Niagara Falls, NY. I have never been wined and dined by anyone quite like this! He would spend DAYS preparing our dates, call me to tell me he had a surprise on our date and would buy me anything I so much as glanced at. I told him I didn't want a sexual relationship, if we didn't have what it took to make it permanent, I wasn't going to cross that line. He was even more self-controlled than me. He talked about marriage within the first few dates...I was swept off my feet! I saw one red flag fairly early: I told him that I was missing my church services and really wanted to get back to that part of my life, as it was important to me. He became quiet and withdrew a bit. Two days later he told me he cried himself to sleep after that, afraid I was leaving! I was floored! I told him that was a huge red flag for me because I wasn't talking about joining a convent, I wanted to attend services! He immediately withdrew the heavy emotion and worked to keep it in check. To make a long story short, after 2 months, he managed to convince me we were brought together by God Himself, he wanted to marry me for his birthday in Sept., and with all this, I was convinced he was my husband, so we slept together. What a change! It was no later than a day and I noticed he was distant and not half as effusive. I started asking what happened...he was vague in his response. He kept asking what I thought was wrong cause it wasn't on his side. This past Friday, he called at noon with a story about having a job interview in Baltimore, that him and his boss were both applying...he was talking so fast, I was so thrown off, I could barely get a word in! By the time I processed this "trip" I was so pissed off, I could barely speak. He emailed me saying that he was there and busy with "Virgil" but would call me in the morning. He didn't. I emailed him and his response was "busy here. Not much to tell. Keeping company with V." I was shocked. I asked what was going on with his plans, since I wasn't included? (I had sent him a 2 month anniversary card that day and had ZERO response...I was so hurt. He had sent me the most wonderful, romantic card for our first month anniversary, I was just swooning!). So, I added that I would assume by his lack of communication concerning the card I sent, that was indicative of where our relationship was at. He emailed me back saying "True. (I didn't know what he was referring to) Its complicated and a lot is happening here. Keeping company with V." I sent him back a response that I only wanted the best for him and if I wasn't it, I would pray that he finds it. No response.

I spent the entire weekend crying, wondering what I did to push him away? Its now been 5 days. I keep hoping the tears will stop. In some ways I feel like such a failure. I haven't heard a word from him and it dawned on me yesterday after reading The Path Forward, that he was with someone else. There was no interview in Baltimore. It was such a crushing blow. I never knew loving someone could hurt so much. I loved Mr. Hyde, I don't know who Dr. Jekyll is. I am being completely ignored and feeling emotionally schizoid right now. I know a confrontation will accomplish nothing. But how do you get out the confusing feelings to the right person? I feel as though part of my heart died and I'm walking around in wet cement. The hardest part is that I feel embarrassed for falling so hard for someone in such a short time. The level-headed, confident radio announcer is sitting in her studio trying not to cry before going on the air. Someone help!