I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire

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#1 Aug 13 - 12AM
rosedewittbukater's picture

I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire

Cruella DeVille,

GO TO HELL you piece of shit!

Rewind to 25 years ago. You were a sweet and kind lover. But we didn't know each other well enough back then. Your mask may not have been fully developed at that point, or if it was, our time together was so brief, I just never got to see it slipping off.
Fast forward to our reunion in 2008. You studied me on Facebook to learn all my details, movies, music and so on.
You even studied my Amazon wish list to see where my reading and other interests lie. You were out of town at the time mountain climbing with "Betty the Buddhist" so we made tentative plans to meet after you returned back to town. Betty advised against this because an "improper" amount of time had elapsed since I had replied to one of your e-mails or messages. The delay on my part was something totally out of my control due to a temporary health crisis I was facing as well as me spending alot of time helping a dear friend who had just suddenly lost her husband of many years to cancer. Whether or not this was one of your lies I will never know, and could CARE LESS.

You then proceeded to mirror me. Going as far as renting one of my favorite movies (you already knew it was my favorite) then showing it to me on our second date, parroting some of the lines form the movie that you knew would resonate with me. You then proceeded to rape me. I was in complete shock. No one has ever done anything like this me on a date! Up until that point in my naive life, I didn't even know that a woman could rape another woman but as God as my witness it happened to me. You called the next day asking if it was "okay" so you knew good and well that you had totally violated me. You sick fuck.

From then on you dominated me and abused me sexually but in subtle ways. You would place your full weight on me, a much smaller woman, and pin me to the bed for hours. When I could finally escape after you had fallen asleep I was covered in bruises and broken blood blisters from head to toe. Other times you were more overt when you bit me telling me you wanted to "leave your mark". When those bruises were not big enough or dark enough then you'd promise to "do better next time" and said that you wanted everyone to be able to "see".

When I finally did give in, you started the chapter where you find out my dreams and desires, so that you could later rip them out from under me all the while with that smug little crooked smile. Thanks for pretending to be a normal decent human being and for pretending you actually
wanted fidelity with just one woman. And it was nice that you added "sorry if this all seems to forward too fast, I think it's because of my age". Later, you did a complete flip flop on that one..."I don't want a commitment at my age" WTF??

Thanks for triangulating me with your lifelong best friend (who I also happened to date many years ago). You know, your cool hipster "Buddhist" Corporate Czar (can you say dichotomy?) Are Giant pharmaceutical Company Executives really allowed to be Hipsters? I really enjoyed you fucking me on her bed when I had tried to place a boundary there and told you in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that I did not want this!
Thanks for then triangulating relentlessly with this woman against me even after she moved half way across the US.
You would still visit with her (and never invite me of course) and then casually inform me that Buddhist Betty insisted on sleeping in the same bed with you when she was visiting you from out of town and vice versae. You KNEW this would get a reaction out of me. Well, I of course took the bait, and reacted like any other normal healthy woman would. I told you I didn't like it. This made you smile that crooked smug evil smile again. I had played right into it didn't I baby? You now had the ammunition you needed to paint me into a insecure, jealous, and oh yeah, abusive little person.
You had lots of conversations with Buddhist Betty about OUR RELATIONSHIP. This didn't strike you as being wrong or disrespectful to me in any way???
After these no doubt revealing and poignant talks you had with her behind my back (and probably while laying in the bed with her) you would then report back to me: "Betty doesn't think I'm in love with you, Rose". To this I posited to you, "Do YOU think you are in love with me?"
Memories are fading now, (thankfully) but I recall you had no reaction at all or you said "I like being with you".
Gee thanks!
You bolstered and reinforced this toxic triangle of your own creating by never including me in any activities you had with this "Betty" woman. On rare occasions when you did decide I could accompany you on outing with your friends, none of them seemed to know anything about us!
One friend actually asked how we met. You just stood there with a blank embarrassed look on your face. I was bursting at the seams wanting to tell everyone our amazing story - reunited after 25 years!!! But, I understand now that you were ashamed of me since I was never on your elite level with regards to education, politics and general means and status...so why would you tell the story that would actually tie us together and further cement our association? That would be suicide among your "Royal Court"!

Come to think of it, you did not include me in most of your activities. When I asked why the abuse would ramp up and you told me "I have always had relationships and activities separate from my partner". You figured you could do anything you damn well please and how dare I call you on it!! When I did, you made me feel like I was the crazy clingy one and told me that I was "too young and too immature".

The night you had sex with me, then refused to re-friend" me afterwards, took the cake! EPIC! Olympic asshole, you get the gold medal you sick ugly soul sucking using bitch.
Cruella, I think that one takes the cake.

Through it all, I kept coming back for more because I thought the caring woman who brought me soup when I had the flu might one day reappear? Yeah, right. Monkeys might fly out of my butt too.
Also, because sex with you was off the charts. I know am beginning to see that was more about me than you, in reality. In the beginning it was off the charts intense and moments of tenderness, the likes of I have never felt before with anyone. But as your mask began to slip, the sex got more and more deviant and void of any intimacy.
You told me you wanted to brutalize me.
This was heart-wrenching for me.

I wonder if you ask to degrade the new woman(s) in your life sexually like you did with me? Are they as willing to be dominated, slapped and hurt during "lovemaking"?

You asked me to marry you after only 3 weeks. What kind of person does that? Yes, it is true we have a 25 year history. Still...I should have run screaming from you as soon as you said it. Never mind, I wouldn't have to run since you beat me to it. You rescinded your marriage proposal just a few weeks later. You left me wondering...what did I do? What is wrong with me that you don't want me?

You then launched one of the first of many full-on silent treatments. I lost count how many. Then, there were the narcissistic rages that left me feeling I was somehow at fault, when nothing could be further from the truth!

Eventually, you relegated me to the role of late night hooker after you had too much Patron.
You never offered to take me home and expected I get up and go to work with only 2 hours (or less) sleep.

Hey loser, you pounded in the final nail on your own coffin when you pulled a disappearing act when my only sister died and you broke your promise to care for my dog (as I had done for you countless times while you were probably off trolling for or fucking other women).
I wound up broken down in a dangerous neighborhood in the inner city in the middle of the night and you could give a flying fuck what happened to me. Just that you had other better plans for the weekend and you were now off the hook!

After this, you promised more romantic trips and then would cancel at the last minute as my punishment when I got "out of line". You either went alone or took some other misognystic woman friend of yours. That way you could chase around women and try to get laid or get some other form of N Supply.
Lots of your women friends liked to demean other women, I found out early on. Birds of a feather flock together...

Act 3 - the final Act.
All the drama, abuse and stress, you put me in the Emergency room one night. Surgery had to be done in less than 6 hours. You only showed up because I asked you to, but if I hadn't you would have felt just so relieved!
When I got out I was still very ill and taking 5 different meds, and possibly facing further surgery due to complications. Where the fuck were you? I'll never know, and I no longer care.
I remember being excited in the beginning because you bragged to me that you were a STUD and and "freak".
Sex with someone you love deeply is a beautiful and wonderful thing, and this kind of closeness is important to me. The idea of a strong woman with stamina who could satisfy me in that way had been missing from my life for a long time.
Well, you got the freak part right, but my pet ferret is more of stud than you'll ever be!!!

You best pray I never see you again, because if I do I will spit in your face, put you down on the ground and break your fucking arm. Then I'll pull you up by your stupid "hipster" hair and knock out every one of your fake teeth and make you swallow them,
then spit in the gaping hole I left where you used to have a mouth.

P.S. Hipsters are not fifty five fucking years old

Eat shit and die MF


Aug 13 - 8PM
rosedewittbukater's picture

Thanks for the feedback you guys

Aug 13 - 8AM
Janie53's picture


Aug 13 - 6AM
Used's picture


Aug 13 - 1AM
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Great job, as always Rose.