So Tired's Story

3 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Jul 2 - 4PM
So Tired
So Tired's picture

So Tired's Story

My story of being So Tired

I'm So Tired. So very, very, tired. Tired of Narcs at all of their craziness. There are many of them in my life. I'm a daughter of a N father (who is still married to my doormat mother), married to a N who is the son of a N father (who is still married to my husband's doormat mother). The more I learn about Narcs the more I find around me. I always told myself that I would never be like my mother, the submissive wife, but now 17 years and two kids later here I am and I didn't even realize what the hell was going on until recently. When I met my Narc I was on one major path of destruction and alcoholism. I was probably just about as low as a human could go on the self-esteem scale. I thought I had finally found one of the "good guys". Looking back now I know there were signs, things I didn't like but I thought it would get better. We were engaged after only 8 mos of dating and married 10 mos later. I should have went with my instincts because even on my wedding day I thought oh well, if this doesn't work out we will just get divorced. The more I read about people like this the more I see that my entire marriage has been one BIG RED flag and I was oblivious. he has definitely built this world around himself that his is the king. He is completely a text book narc. The rages, the pouting, the calling constantly to see where I am. The really bad thing is when I don't feed his need he takes it out on my kids. They have both started therapy for anxiety issues. My son really needs to see the light because he will minimize his fathers actions or say that it really doesn't bother him but deep down I know it does because he was in tears at the Dr.s office when we were discussing it. As long as I potray their issues as it being their problems and not caused by him I'm hoping he never realizes why they are going. I'm sure if he found out he would be pissed and there will be hell to pay. I know it is crazy that we are even still here but I want my kids to understand what is going on before we leave because if I just left he would make it to where they thought it was their fault and would throw it in their face all the time. I'm trying very hard to have patience because if it wasn't like this I would grab them and leave instantly. I have every intention of leaving ASAP but I want to make sure all of our bases are covered before he catches on. The corruption he has over them cannot build up any more than it has already. So now I plan and wait and try to prepare my kids because when it goes down it will not be pretty. Thanks for letting me tell someone my story and any advice you have will be greatly appreciated.

Jul 3 - 8PM
DawnWins
DawnWins's picture

Get your exit plan in place

Jul 2 - 7PM
BtrflyGrl
BtrflyGrl's picture

So Tired