Surrygrl story

If I told my whole story it would be too long, so I going to sum it up the best I can. My prince charming came into my life seven years ago, promising me the world. I was 28, had a 10 year old son. My exN had a son the same age so I thought it would be great, a guy that knows what being a parent is like. Blended families are hard. My N's son was "special" and my son in the N's eyes I put first. Should have been my huge red flag, but he was so "nice". He took me on trips, nice dinners and promised me the world. Two years later I was pregnant. I have colitis which made the pregnancy hard. My n had just started a new business so as I was dealing with doctors, and meds all of which could harm this child he wasn't there, but I made the excuse he was just busy, he didn't mean to leave me alone. I moved in with him and became a part of his life in his home, and bot if I tried to make it our home, he would complain. I'd ask for a foot rub he'd say mine first. It was crazy. He proposed and I said yes. I was so excited, ignoring the red flags, he could be so charming. His business was failing and he closed it and took a job he hated. He still blames me for the business failing, I didn't support him enough. Now he had this job he hated, eventually got fired. I worry about money so started to push. He'd tell me to relax, stay out of his business. Meanwhile I'm still struggling with the colitis and now have a new born, my son and stepson in the house. My N's family has a few bucks so my stepson is treated very well. My son isn't blood. This really bothered me. I started to voice opinions and he'd throw it back at me that I'm protecting my son, I can't control how people feel ect. I'd cry, he eventually start fights and as I started to get upset he'd say "what u going to cry?, or you pulling out the colitis card" if I voiced my concerns about his life, job, parenting they were always personal attacks to him. And if your going to attack he's going to fight back and say something really hurtful. He also could never handle my relationship I had with my child. I put my son first not him. He remained unemployed for 3 years but daddy gave him an allowance so he was ok. Well I expected him to clean the house and stuff as he was the stay at home guy now....big mistake. How dare I, he had to spend his time looking for a job, then he was depressed and do course it was all my fault. If I wasn't so controlling and if he hadn't spent his days cleaning for me he wouldn't have lost himself. One night after a night of drinking and him being out to all hours I had had enough and asked him to leave. I told him I didn't deserve this and he needed to spend some time alone to get his life on track, let's not forget I moved into his house. Well he said I'm not going anywhere, and he told me to get the f out, and I did. Then the texts came blaming me for all of it. I moved out with the two kids and slept on a couch with the ill guy at my sisters and my big boy had a room. I assumed once I was gone he'd realize what he was missing. Well that started the mental games for sure. We went to counseling, most of the time he felt no one listened. It was still all my fault. He didn't come home one night, and I freaked. His answer is, and you don't even ask yourself what you've done to keep me out? I have still held on to hope that this is going to work, but it's a mental mind game. I'm obsessed. He always gets the last word, I'm always the crazy one. He takes every situation flips it to say, if I didn't behave a certain way he wouldn't have to treat me the way he does. To the outside world he's still mr wonderful, no one can understand the mental emotional abuse, I need to know others understand, he makes me feel crazy, and makes me question everything about myself. Help??? How do u get him out of your head, I still have contact because of our child