My two year friendship with a girl....

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#1 Jan 31 - 8PM
Flabbergasted
Flabbergasted's picture

My two year friendship with a girl....

The letter I wrote around 1-1-12...

I've been upset because I cannot continue our up and down drama. At times, it floods back memories of my ex husband and his controlling jealous ways.

Why would two people who are suppose to be friends make snide remarks when one or the other spends time with different people? I feel like I have to withhold info if I've been going out with someone else and doing other things. It feels mentally unstable and I will not accept it.

We have had a lot of great times together and I would like to have more but I am not living my life where I have to worry that if I don't call you, email you, chat with you, go places with you, FB, etc. on a daily basis, you take it personally and become hostile towards me.

I hope we can have a light and healthy friendship but I am serious. I cannot fix your issues and mood swings, if I could I would.

Since that letter, she has sought professional help but is now questioning every aspect of her "toxic" personality. My last response was that I didn't know how to respond to her questions. I'm tired and just want to be free.

Jan 31 - 10PM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Wow! She actually sought

Wow! She actually sought help after receiving that letter from you? You and your feelings and opinions must matter to her. At first I was thinking she was a narc, but when I got to the end of your letter, I realized that she is a co-dependent. Very needy, and smothering. Most people would have taken offense to that letter, my hat is off to her for accepting what you told her and seeing the possibilities of truth in what you had to say. I hope she gets the help she needs. It is a difficult journey for her as well and she will look for you to lean on, as she has, because you were the one that took enough interest in her to be honest with her, which ultimately resulted in her seeking help. You can continue to be her friend, but you must set boundaries for her. Discuss this with her and let her know that it is not only for your own emotional well being, but for hers also. Give her my best and wish her well in her journey!