The Narc Mixed Message

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#1 Jan 30 - 12PM
Amazed
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The Narc Mixed Message

Have you ever noticed the "mixed messages" that Ns give.., like a personal insult, mixed with,," I miss you, want to make sure your are cool".....

It is so good to be away from all the CRAP and the endless hours of trying to appease these creeps...

The put down is bizarre....NEVER good to stay with Narcs like that...they are always trying to prove themselves better than anyone,,especially their "loved one" ....

Again,,SO GLAD to be away. the mixed messages are so subtle, so destructive, especially to the gal who just wants her man to be happy,,,they NEVER CHANGE.

Apr 15 - 4PM
mystwoman
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Narcs are absolutely

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

Apr 15 - 1PM
uncomfortablynumb
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Silly Little Girls

Apr 13 - 8AM
Deidre99
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Very interesting insight,

Apr 13 - 7AM
Kim F
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Hidden meaning?

Apr 13 - 9AM (Reply to #41)
Breakingfree24
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You are not alone!

Apr 13 - 10AM (Reply to #42)
kaysterbabe
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Breakingfree

Apr 13 - 9AM (Reply to #38)
kaysterbabe
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Kim

Apr 13 - 9AM (Reply to #39)
Kim F
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Thank you :)

Apr 13 - 9AM (Reply to #40)
kaysterbabe
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You are more than welcome Kim

Feb 6 - 11PM
ichooselife
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bananas

He told me he was fatally alergic to bananas. He supposedly felt very sick one night from accidently touching a banana peel hanging out of the trash can at a bus stop. Said he was throwing something away, and his hand brushed against it. hmmmm. So one day, months later at a Thankgiving dinner, there are 2 juices on the table. I read them ahead of time to see if there was banana puree in them.Sure enough, one had it. Wouldnt you know he reaches for that one. I stopped his hand and said "Dont drink that one, it has banana in it." He poured it into his glass anyway. I was trying to talk him out of it. He goes, "You look as worried as I SHOULD be. Thankyou for your concern but Im sure I'll be okay. Its probably not the first ingredient." Actually, it was the 3rd ingredient, but close enough, for someone who claims he is deathly alergic. He drank it, and he was fine. ???????
Apr 13 - 8AM (Reply to #36)
Deidre99
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hahahaha that is the most

Feb 6 - 11PM
ichooselife
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LOL!!!

Some of these posts are hillarious! This is better than watching a comedian any time! Yes mine was good at the scrambled eggs talk... "Maybe some day we'll just be really good friends." "As tempting as it is, I can't let myself call you more than one time a day. I don't want to depend on you too much." a few months later--"As hard as it will be for me, I can't let myself call you every day." "You're the most important thing in my life right now." (gotta love the "right now!")
Feb 7 - 11PM (Reply to #32)
loveofmylife
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ichooselife

OMG - these made me laugh. The mixed messages and scrambled eggs were the worst part of it....and to think I thought this made him "mysterious" and "intreging". This is how messed up this makes us... I'm a super logical person with a head screwed on straight. He would confuse me so much, that I would keep a log of the confusing things he said to me (and he is very smart too and is entirely capable of straight talk). This is what drove me to therapy. I couldn't understand whether he loved me or didn't love me as his messages were so confusing. I thought he was sending me "secret messages" that he really loved me because he couldn't straight out tell me because I was married. Well, all of this confusion/mixed messages/scrambled eggs is eventually what drove me literally crazy and had me (a very capable person) bed ridden with pain for 1 year! 1 Year for a highly functional person! That is how much damage they can do with their mind games. Drove me to therapy and my therapist first floated the phrase "crazy making" by me. I'm 47 and had never heard that phrase before. I had to actually learn what it meant! This is my biggest red flag now...If someone can't talk to you straight, they are hiding something big - they are NOT mysterious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Feb 8 - 3PM (Reply to #34)
ichooselife
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"bed ridden with pain for 1 year"

Whoe! Thats terrible! Good thing we are away from these nut jobs. Yeah, my friend and I have had many good laughs over just the wierdness and inappropriate things. One time, my ex (while i was with him) had me so on edge that I almost ripped his head off just for rubbing his eyes while I was talking to him. Its one of those things me and my friend joke about till this day. She'll go, "Whats wrong with your eyes?!!!!" and we both start laughing cause its how I was with him that day. (many days.) See he had this thing about cutting me off when I was talking. Due to my growing anger, he became more subtle about the way he interupted me, but still did it. He never had so-called sudden stomach pains, or something in his eyes, or sudden interest in the world around him until I was talking. Never happened when he was talking.or anyone else for that matter. hmmmmm :)
Feb 8 - 2PM (Reply to #33)
stunnedalso
stunnedalso's picture

I'm in awe of the comments on this site

Thank you Thank you Thank you. I am very logical. I've used the exact phrases as I've found on this site. omg THen I wander, will I ever find happiness in a relationship? Seriously. I'm 41 with two young children and I have no career. I thought he was a good friend. AND all the mixed signals!!! Never saying he cares, but implying it...then saying he could go a month without knowing about me or speaking with me...AND ...here's the joke... we barely see each other anyway because it's long distance. AIE.... the illogic kills me... so knowing what is written here helps me to let that go. I know what is mine. AND there's no use in attempting conversation with him about it. I know that. We used to "be able to talk about anything"....and "be so calm around each other"...until I became "some psycho woman like all the others"
Feb 6 - 12PM
Monica
Monica's picture

"I ask no contact from you."

For months I told my xN not to contact me ever again. He had been calling me at work until I got Caller ID and reported him to my bosses. I blocked his personal cell and he got through to me with his work cell, which I didn't recognize. Each time I would tell him to not contact me again, to leave the past in the past, to leave me be. He would get angry and bitter at that point. I sent him a letter and made a copy, again telling him not to contact me in any way ever again. I was always polite and respectful and not confrontational or angry. When the block ran out on his personal cell he contacted me yet AGAIN. (I guess he kept trying for months until the block expired.) He is obsessed with thinking I have a "beau" living with me. I told him then that I would speak with a detective if he ever contacted me again and that I keep copies of his texts and my phone records showing his texts and calls to me from both his personal and work cell phones. I told him I kept a copy of the letter I sent him telling him to stop contacting me. He got really angry then. Accused me of blackmail. Raged for a bit. Then he texted, "I am blocking u today. Why do I waste my time? I ask no contact from you." Well.....DUH!!!! Talk about turning the tables.... They are simply ridiculous! After that last contact, I sent him a Cease and Desist Order. That was over a week ago. I have not heard anything since then. A copy went to his executive director because he had used his work cell phone to contact me.
Feb 4 - 10PM
clover16
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"I don't want to close the

"I don't want to close the door on you but I don't want to open it right now either" Translation = I just want to keep you around in case the OW dry up for a while LOL
Feb 6 - 11AM (Reply to #29)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Yes

wonder if theres a 'be a better Narc book'. And isnt it interesting how we all thought they were interesting, intriguing, different..yet they are all the same lol...and bald :)
Feb 5 - 11AM (Reply to #27)
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

OMG Clover

Mine said the same freaking thing! How could that be? I always thought mine was such a mysterious and interesting guy when he said things like this. Little do I know he have the Super Narc Playbook of Tricks that they all have. Think about it...has any other NORMAL person (and I'm 48) ever said even "I don't want to close the door on you right now". A normal person has never even used those words in my life...they would say "maybe its best if we cool this off for a bit or see other people or something like that".... "Close the door" implies that we are "opportunities" not "people".
Feb 6 - 11AM (Reply to #28)
clover16
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Narc playbook

Maybe we were with the same narc! lol. I know what you mean - they try so hard to sound cool and laid back but their D&D expressions are so formal and weird sounding! Exactly like you said, as if they come from a narc playbook! I am closing the door on him. Bye! :) hugs, clover
Feb 4 - 12PM
brinamarie
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after telling him to get a

after telling him to get a therapist & right before blocking him: "i'm sure you'll find someone eventually who will love you like I did in the beginning. I was so happy in the beginning, at least I think I was. Yes, I have issues but you have issues, too." BARF.
Feb 3 - 11PM
loveofmylife
loveofmylife's picture

Question for everyone

Like everyone else, the Narc's mixed messages were mind boggling and was probably the one major thing that sent me into therapy and caused emotional and then physical pain. So a question for you all. My narc's mixed messages were unreal to me and the scrambled eggs were unreal. Well, when I decided to read his email to see what was really going on, I noticed that his emails to other victims were more clear than anything he has sent to me. And found myself jealous that some women actually got at least apparently more clear communications. Now, maybe they were "fresher" victims, more in the honeymoon stage - and then his pining for you is more clear, but then as things go downhill maybe the scrambled eggs happen. Do any of you have experience with this or a theory on this? Because I can't tell you have envious I felt to these other victims who had clearer communications!
Feb 4 - 6AM (Reply to #22)
Hunter
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LOML

Mirror, mirror, on the wall.. Idealize,devalue,discard .. During the idealization ( honeymoon phase) they are learning all about you..what you think is loving and kind behavior.. It's actully a tool of manipulation .. They mirror the victium.. You like red, they like red.. You write poetry they write poetry .. Then Wham Bham ... Look out batman.. " why are you wearing red.. Red is so ugly and makes you ugly"" or " the poetry you wrote is terrible, what are you trying to say".. Now your head is Spinning.. Now he can " Control you" ... It's Sick,Sick,Sick.. Hunter
Feb 8 - 2PM (Reply to #24)
stunnedalso
stunnedalso's picture

SOUP

OMG. Yes. THat's what I could never put together in my logical mind. I would think "But he liked this and that and I did too...he loved cooking...he loved my stories...we had the same interests....... Even something stupid like stuff I would make..."sounds delicious...send me the recipe...etc" Then later he would say opposite stuff. Like I hate soup.... then I would inquire again and say..."well, you don't like soup...like ALL soup?" He then says..."I never said that. I like soup" JUST soup...it's just soup....just stick to a straight statement please!!! LOL
Feb 4 - 9PM (Reply to #23)
loveofmylife
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Hunter

Yes, I'll have to remember "mirror mirror on the wall" that hilarious!
Feb 2 - 11PM
alicepaul
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Yup, same here.

"I have to deal with the guilt of what I've done" he says to me about revenge-cheating on his wife with me. Ten seconds later he wonders if he and I will get to have sex again. Um, no you sick freak! He can take his diseased, surgically-enhanced penis and keep insatiably masturbating (as he admitted to me he does) to porn and continue to use his wife's body to masturbate. No wonder she cheated! 21 years of that and so would I.
Feb 2 - 10AM
peaches
peaches's picture

Thanks

All of these posts really gave me something to be grateful for today. The hair on the back of my neck stood up when I read these. I don't have anyone in my life today that says shit like that. Very grateful! I hope none of you take their scrabbled eggs seriously. I know the pain that causes and I'm letting it be in my past and know it was just more of his lies.
Feb 2 - 9AM
Used
Used's picture

HIM= TO ME... I AM JUST

HIM= TO ME... I AM JUST TEXTING YOU TO TELL YOU I AM NOT GOING TO TEXT YOU ANYMORE,AAND I AM DELETEING YOUR NUMBER...I DIDNT ANSWER... SOME TIME LATER...A TEXT GOOD NIGHT NAME[NOT MINE] LOVE HIM, IF THIS TEXT HAS GONE TO USED IT WASENT SUPPOSE TO....
Feb 4 - 9PM (Reply to #18)
ruby01 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

What a dumb ass!
Feb 2 - 9AM
Anonymus
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Silver lining...

"I'm in love with you...you're just what there is right now"