please help urgent advice needed

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Dec 30 - 8AM (Reply to #25)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Why because he found another

Why because he found another victim. They mirror an image.. Again you are trying to reason with the unreasonable.. Today is a new day.. What did you read last nigh? Hunter
Dec 30 - 9AM (Reply to #26)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

but why chase someone that

but why chase someone that can't give him the lifestyle he wants? I read psychopaths website and power of no contact but today is not a good day can't get out of bed! Feel so sad,I had ordered champagne to be delivered to my N before he dumped me it was delivered this morning as a new year present he can't even thank me,I text him Asking if he got it as company were checking no reply I phone him he let's it go to voicemail said just wanted to check you got champagne ok had it ordered a month ago still nothing so he can't even say thanks ? Why when he text me on Xmas day to thank me for present can't he even do that now don't get why he's ignoring me he was fine 3 days ago and to not say thanks why totally ignore me looks like he won't be back in January so why say that ? Just don't get why he's ignoring me for past 3 days when he was fine 3 days ago and responding to my texts? Dreading new years eve x
Dec 30 - 9AM (Reply to #27)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

You are not ready to face

You are not ready to face reality.. It's seems you are enjoying the Drama this man is creating.. You must see a therapist.. You are reading the words on the paper but are you understanding them? Youre not understanding them because you refuse to. Is fire hot?? Is a psychopath a psychopath? He doesn't want you.. He's made that clear.. Why are you begging?. Yes it hurts, but you are looking in the wrong direction to stop the pain.. I could sit here and tell you everything that was done to me.. It has no revelance..None.. Why because it's was dished out by a non human who didn't care if I lived or died.
Dec 30 - 9AM (Reply to #28)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

I don't enjoy the drama

I don't enjoy the drama believe me but I still love him and want him won't lie. Why could he thank me for Xmas presents and text everyday up until the 27th and now ignore he can't even send one text to say thanks that's got nothing to do with wanting me just basic manners so why now ignore me and not even do that? He was the one that said he will let me know when free in January and now he can't even say thanks
Dec 30 - 9AM (Reply to #29)
Used
Used's picture

He doesnt have any manners,

He doesnt have any manners, other wise he wouldnt treat you like this....He is ignoring you.....That is bad manners... He will probley wait until january to see how he feels then... I realy hope you give him his marching orders.... He is totally disrespecting you...
Dec 30 - 1PM (Reply to #33)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

well he never did say thanks

well he never did say thanks I text him at 12 lunch time and left voicemail at 230pm and still nothing I'm sitting here upset contemplating texting him again asking if he got champers and why he's ignoring me but no doubt he will ignore that to?I know keep asking but why ignore me now when he was happily responding to my messages up until 3 days ago? What have I done did I contact him too much why can't he just say thanks or is he enjoying knowing I'm wondering why he ignoring me x
Dec 30 - 1PM (Reply to #36)
spinning
spinning's picture

Sad, dearheart, you are stuck

in a loop that is hurting you. It isn't about you. It's All About Him. He has new supply. Period. You didn't "do" anything. Did you read Hunter's link on silent treatment? Please do. You can text him 1,000 times and the result will be the same. When you continue this behavior, you are just giving him supply and giving him yet another opportunity to devalue and discard you with every text. Please try to stop it; you are only hurting yourself. Also, please consider that incessantly contacting someone who is not responding can easily and unintentionally fall into the category of stalking. Don't give this guy any ammo to use against you. Here is a blog from Goldie that you might find enlightening. It's a bit ahead of where you are but it shows the dynamics of what you are involved in. Please go to Goldie's blog and click on the 'one on one with Goldie'. It would help you immensely. Please also read all the blogs here. You must try to understand and FACE what is going on here if you truly want to stop feeling as crazy and confused as you feel right now. http://www.lisaescott.com/2011/10/04/denial-system-codependent-and-narc Most sincerely, (not) spinning

spinning

Dec 30 - 1PM (Reply to #34)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

You keep asking and we keep

You keep asking and we keep answering.. He's not going to answer you..You didn't do anything .. You are not special we have all waked in your shoes..he's had devalued and discarded you.. You could send him 1million dollars he won't thank you. I will ask one final time.. What are you going to do about this?? Wait by the phone till Jan? Lay in Bed for ten year? Beg him?. When someone wants you they call you back.. You deserve better.. Hunter
Dec 30 - 3PM (Reply to #35)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

but I thought they liked

but I thought they liked attention and constant supply so thought he would like contact ? Why was he ok for contact up until 3 days ago now he's raging Before when he was really mad he said don't contact me ever again but this time it said don't contact me for a while,why sudden change of heart in 3 days??
Dec 30 - 10AM (Reply to #31)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

thank you I am really puzzled

thank you I am really puzzled what's changed in 3 days that he ignores and can't say thanks I take it I don't try asking him anymore if he got it? I've left 2 messages! He's now got me worried that he has changed his mind and won't see me in january What if he doesn't text me and wish me happy new year oh I'm so hurt why stop contact after being ok up until the past 3 days? Take it I just forget chasing up Champagne and don't ask him anymore? X
Dec 30 - 10AM (Reply to #32)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

http://abuse101.com/silenttre

http://abuse101.com/silenttreatmentandabuse.html What are you going to do about this? beg someone who has discarded you ? Or call a therapist? If you are putting up with this you don't like yourself very much.. You need help.. Please seek it.. Hunter
Dec 30 - 9AM (Reply to #30)
spinning
spinning's picture

Sad, sweetheart, are you in

therapy? I believe it would help you immensely. The answers you seek are in front of you. A one-on-one with Goldie could help you address these things immediately. All you have to do is go to the About Us link and click on 'one on one with Goldie' and she can help you. Please consider this, Sad, as you are stuck in a loop of thought that will get you nowhere and you need to try to see things clearly and deal with the reality of the situation. Goldie can help. Most sincerely, (not) spinning. AND WISHING NO ONE WOULD SPIN OVER THESE DISORDERED FREAKS

spinning

Dec 29 - 8PM (Reply to #23)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

but everyone think the sun

but everyone think the sun shines out his ass he looks so normal and can be soo nice and loving and lovely he looked as if he genuinly cared kept thinking surely he will see what he's got in me he must settle down sometime and I know I won't get answers but it's soo different this time for him to refuse money and move home something he didn't want and if he totally d and d me why the Xmas present and why text saying January he will let me know when free and why want to destroy me I've never been horrible to him surely I'm good supply in his eyes???
Dec 29 - 7PM
alicat
alicat's picture

I definately feel your pain!

I definately feel your pain! I too was abused and devalued and discarded after dating for over 2 years. He would also ignore me! I stayed no contact for 3 months when he wormed back in. I took the bait and have had nothing but pain and more abuse because I allowed it. Like Hunter says contact=pain! I found out the hard way. I deleted him and now have to take control of my life. I would hate for u to go through that! Its torture! Listen to the forum! Stay strong! I know its hard! Alicat
Dec 29 - 7PM (Reply to #19)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

Thanks sorry you're suffering

Thanks sorry you're suffering too I've got back together with him 8 times so I know how awful it is why do I only feel happy when I'm with him when I know he treats me bad Why if he dumps and devalues me did he give me an Xmas present and say let me know when he's free in January is he planning to come back? Why does he not want money now from me and moving back to mummy ? And why chase these women without sounding full of it he won't get someone like me that's stood buy him and done everything for him god I flew him first class to carribean with a chauffeur and he still picked fault Please someone tell me what he's planning now why not want rent money and move home to mum will that not cramp his style with women? And do you think he will be back in jan or why dump me before Xmas then come back with a present it hurts my head makes no sense everyone sees him as mr wonderful even his family
Dec 29 - 7PM (Reply to #20)
alicat
alicat's picture

The disordered are all from

The disordered are all from the same mold! Mine moved back home too because he too lost everything and let his bills go! I was there for him through some pretty trying times! They don't care! He would tell me he loves me one day and the next I was a fucking cunt! Nice huh? He will contact u like Hunter says when his supply is low but take it from me it will be a disaster! I guess I had to see that for myself! It is so hard to understand I know! The pain is deep! I too had so many questions but will never be answered because he is sick! My family also took he and his son along with my boys to the Bahamas! He was miserable the whole time! As soon as we got back he left me! I feel for u because I know that desperate horrible feeling. Please don't make my mistake!
Dec 29 - 7PM (Reply to #21)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

thanks it hurts he's mr happy

thanks it hurts he's mr happy and I'm a mess it all meant nothing to him I know they don't make sense but he asked me in November for money in December for rent and bills I said that's fine he kept saying he didn't want to move home to mums I still cause I'm daft when he dumped me still offered him rent he still turned me down so given they are users and he doesn't want to move home why not take money now ? And do they change for the next woman I keep seeing him married and settled to someone and keep thinking why not me? Plus he likes nice lifestyle good things in life he's now chasing a woman with 5 kids to different men that doesn't work and smokes he hates kids dislikes smoking she has black hair so did I yet he told me to dye it blonde I did! Even when we broke up before he would always come back and take some more that is why I don't get him this time miss out on a lovely Xmas meal he boasted to everyone we were all going out great food and Champers then he calls it off?! Is it more final this time won't he be back if I don't get a happy new year text that will be even worse I keep wondering what woman he is with he is so nice to them yet I get ignored why when he sent me that text has he now decided to ignore me I have his bloody bank card here not as if I'm begging him to come back
Dec 29 - 6PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

WTF

That my friend is the question you must ask yourself.. You are being used and abused..do you like that? I know you don't .. You are begging.. This situation will not get better.. Tell me what so you love exactly because I'm not seeing this trophy .. A bobbie prize yes.. If I told you what you just wrote how would you respond? You my friend are dealing with a Narcissist.. There is a cure..NC.. Read, buy Lisa's books ,and may I suggest you find a therapist.. There is no need to calculate his thoughts or next move as far as you are concerned..you have ben Devalued and Discarded.. The next move you must make is to fix this mess you've got yourself in..it's starts with fixing you. Again.. You must start NC, read, and stay here with us. Welcome to Narcville Hunter
Dec 29 - 7PM (Reply to #2)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

Please help urgent advice needed

thank you so much for replying and I know if someone told me what I told you I would tell them to run! I know he's been bad to me so why don't I hate him why do I still love him I don't suffer fools gladly I'm an independent professinal woman yet I'm a mess can't eat,stop crying my life seems pointless So many unanswered questions why now does he not want money when he's taken before why now would he rather move home to live with his mum at 40 and why cancel Xmas and if he dumped me why come round and give me a Xmas present then say he will let me know when he's free in January none of it makes sense do you think will hear from him again?
Dec 29 - 7PM (Reply to #17)
13Moons13
13Moons13's picture

Honestly, sananddown, we have

Honestly, sananddown, we have all been where you are right now. It is the most emotionally and physically painful experience anyone could ever have. Most of us didnt think we could make it through another second much less another day. He is messing with your head to fulfill some crazy sadistic need in his crazy mind. Believe me, he is not a normal person. The best thing that could happen is that you don't contact him and he doesn't contact you. Please save yourself and do not respond to him again...period...delete and block all avenues of contact. Even though every one will tell you to go no contact, you won't be able to do it until you are ready. At that time your soul will be shattered iinto pieces. But if you can, go NC right this second and never look back. Regain your self respect. It doesn't seem like it, but in time you will heal. Trust me, it doesn't seem like it but you will. Stay close to the site. There are amazing insightful people here who can help you work through this. Xoxo
Dec 29 - 7PM (Reply to #15)
bgirl
bgirl's picture

Contradictions....so may of

Contradictions....so may of them to put you off balance.. Mine were...I love you...I can't live without you...have my child to: It was just good sex...I'm going...move on with your life will ya... To.... Never question what we had or have B. I will NEVER question it.... ?..........?????? Do u see the sense in it? There is no sense and they have turned us into non comprehends fools. Listen to the ppl on here, especially the ones who have had countless years of hellish experience. I wouldn't be here except for the fact that I have swamped myself with information. Huge hugs to you....my heart goes out to you xx bgir
Dec 29 - 7PM (Reply to #16)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

when everyone is saying he

when everyone is saying he has new supply has he met someone better than me what's wrong with me ? Will he settle with them and change he kept saying he's a loner and doesn't want a relationship,I know narcissists don't make sense but why take for 3 and half years yet now he would rather live with mummy and turn down money and offers of help as staying with mum at 40 isn't good for the image! I know you say you hope he won't be Back but given his antics and giving me present texting me 2 days ago then ignoring me would like to know thro other peoples experience if he will be back so I know what to expect or is he really done? As I say last contact was text saying busy til jan speak then will let you know when I free now he's ignored me past 2 days my Xmas was awful I'm dreading new years eve home alone really down hate my life and he seems all so bloody happy yet I am so drawn to him love him and still don't hate him I'm totally messed up and won't lie I hope I do hear from him pathetic I know
Dec 29 - 7PM (Reply to #3)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Of course none of this makes

Of course none of this makes sense.. Why do you think we are all here in Narcville? He has new supply.. You have been discarded.. Start reading .. I know the answers but you need to take this journey yourself.. We are her to push you along.. I'm sorry honey .. he's a bad person.. A LOSER an you deserve so much better.. You need to get into therapy, Read , and forget him.. This sucks ,I'm not going to lie ,time to get your big girl panties on and face reality.. You are most likely suffering from PTSD..again please get to the Doctor..read,read,read, google idealize devalue discard .. Let's start there.. Be Strong Hunter
Dec 29 - 7PM (Reply to #4)
bgirl
bgirl's picture

I was diagnosed with

I was diagnosed with PTSD....severe...been in counseling for 6 months...still having big problems letting go.... hunter is right...reality sucks but so essential to face so we can heal. XxxX
Dec 29 - 8PM (Reply to #5)
aj51
aj51's picture

Don't Be Afraid to Unleash the Strength you know you have!!

I’m sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. I definitely have to echo the comment made by both Hunter and alicat contact=pain! You need to initiate no contact stat! I wouldn’t worry about the bank card anymore. It almost sounds similar to a woman ‘forgetting’ something at a man’s place so she has a reason to see him again. However, in this case it seems as though he is leaving the bank card with you so that when HE is ready he can walk back into your life. I say drop the card off at the closest branch and say you found a lost card. I understand how you are replaying everything through your mind – what he said, his actions etc. – and trying to find meaning and answers. I am guilty of doing this as well. However, when you initiate the no contact, as hard as it can be, there is a certain amount of power you gain from it. You can think hahaha now who has the power – ME! That’s right ME! Try to focus on your new found power and strength. It helps give you an ego boost knowing that you’re a powerful person and you won’t stand for being used and abused anymore. Ns are notorious for having no pride and not carrying about how their actions impact others. As individuals who do have emotions and pride, we are often left with the pain and shame after these Ns use and abuse us. Below is a great quote I found from a blogger known as NML: He may have no pride or very little, but you need to, otherwise you will engage in behaviour that will demean you and even humiliate you at times because you’re in a dynamic with someone where there are no boundaries and no sense of reality, either about themselves, relationships, or you. I recommend that you keep this quote in mind as a source of inspiration.This quote is taken from her blog entry: Mr Unavailables & Assclowns: Sharing an absence of pride (www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/mr-unavailables-assclowns-sharing-an-absence-of-pride/) While the blog is not exclusively about Ns, I recommend that in addition to Lisa Scott’s website, you also check out NMS’s blog Baggage Reclaim(www.baggagereclaim.com/). I found it has provided me with some great blog entries/articles to make sense of what I am dealing with for my own N situation, but also has alot of articles and exercises about how to become a stronger individual. BTW – I highly recommend you also get a copy of Lisa’s e-book Surviving the Narcissist – I was a mess and had endless questions. Her book is what helped me connect the dots and see this N for who he really is. It is still hard, but at least I’m out of the fog and have some clarity. I just posted my own story tonight because although I feel I probably know the answers already to my questions about my situation, I have had no outlet and have been dealing with this situation alone in my head. I’m hoping that others can provide me with further insight. Good on you though for taking the step to join this forum and seeking out the support and sharing your situation!
Dec 29 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

Can someone please answer this

thank you for nice words and sorry to hear your suffering too. Can I ask without sounding like a broke record and repeating myself given I did everything for him was I not good supply? And in your experience why is he not accepting money and moving back with mum that's what I don't get?? Can someone answer this please? Plus when he ended it with me I usually cry and beg he said we could be text friends nothing more no meeting up I did what I never do and agreed with him he then was taken aback and said we could meet once in a blue moon or once a month then he turns up with Xmas present What I'm so confused about and wish someone would answer is why turn down money this time and move home to mums on 25th jan? When he's taken continually from him why anyone know ? And do they change with anyone else new women? and everyone is saying no contact but would he even notice or care would he not think she's finally taken the hint good riddance got rid of her can someone please reply? And I know I'm going on but why turn down money and move home when I can help him and he doesn't want to move home can someone answer this please ?? Thanks xx
Dec 30 - 12AM (Reply to #7)
aj51
aj51's picture

Re: Can someone please answer this

Thank you – just knowing there is support out there already helps. Sweetie I am certain that you are amazing and anyone would be lucky to have you as a partner. What is hard to accept about the N is that it doesn’t matter how incredible you are – Ns would rather be loved by many than one person. What appear to be the typical reasons why Ns disappear on us and run hot and cold are because: 1. When the situation feels like a relationship, they freak! Relationships require emotions they are not capable of feeling and they are scared of feeling emotions. 2. They get bored easily. Once they feel that they have us locked in as a supply, then it is less fun as the chase is over and they have already secured you as a supply source, so they need to seek out a new challenge (aka add to their harem). Additionally, they also seek out others so they have constant sources of supply at their disposal, should they ever lose a source. You also need to be aware that in both cases the N will create distance. However, they will still check in with you every now and then so they do not lose you as a supply source. Also remember, Ns are always looking for their next 'high' just like a drug addict. When one supply source is not available in that moment, they go to another, then return again. It seems that sometimes they just want any high and sometimes a particular high that a particular source can supply, but it is all about the N and their need for a high in that moment - nobody else or their feelings ever matter. I know it is really hard to accept. It hurts knowing we have been used. It hurts when they do not contact us or we know they are going to another supply source because it makes us question ourselves. It hurts knowing they don't care about hurting us to get their high (remember Ns enjoy getting the high whether its based on positive or negative attention - they cant' stand not getting any attention - seriously how messed up is that - more reason to avoid Ns). It hurts to even type it out right now because it emphasizes how real and true it was that I was used in my situation. See don't feel alone. We all share similar feelings. Regarding him distancing himself from you, omg it completely hurts, but I don’t think he will think ‘good riddance’ because that seems more like the response of a normal guy with more emotions than an N. An N will always try to keep you around somehow – he can’t risk actually losing you (e.g. he wants to text with you, he left his bank card with you etc.). What is a hard reality to accept when you initiated the no contact rule, or he distances himself or discards you, is that as Ns are not capable of having/feeling emotions, they don’t actually miss the that person – they miss what the person supplied. I have to admit that I haven’t fully accepted this myself because it is hard to think that there are people out there with absolutely no emotions or feelings – don’t they even think about the role we played in their life and kinda miss us in some way? Perhaps someone who is actually diagnosed as an N may not give a thought about it, but I like to think that people who just have strong N tendencies may somewhere deep down actually miss the person on some level, even if it is only a bit because after all the high they get from the supply source makes them overlook the supply source as a person. Ns do not see the supply sources as people, but merely objects that provide the high. You should check out this post from Lisa Scott re: narcissistic supply - I found it really helpful: http://narcissisticsupplyexplained.com/ Regarding not accepting money and moving back with his mum – that is something you may never get an answer to. Only he really knows. You can only guess. I don’t think it has anything to do with you though. My N situation was almost entirely texting and some meeting up. Please trust me – do not agree to this. I know it is hard because it is exciting to still have any form of contact – but he is playing games with you to control you and by agreeing to it, you’re making yourself weak and he knows he has more control over you. I recommend you check out the blog article “Why you should be wary of any man that is reliant on text messaging, email, and instant messenger!” http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/why-you-should-be-wary-of-any-man-that-is-reliant-on-text-messaging-email-and-instant-messenger/ I also strongly urge you to check out Lisa's e-book it has answers to almost all of your questions. When you pick it up you will wonder why you didn't read it sooner. BTW I don't mean to keep plugging her book - I have no connection to her, I just found her book to be so incredibly useful. The book is also a quick read (approx 120 pages). I am slowly going through it to give myself time to reflect. I often find when I have a new question and need an answer, I go back to her book and always have an “omg that makes so much sense now!” moment, but it was something I did not think about when I was reading that section the first time. It’s totally a bible.
Dec 30 - 4AM (Reply to #8)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

thanks woke up can't stop

thanks woke up can't stop crying again will read the posts you recommend still feel so down and alone . Dreading tomorrow the last night of the year,will be hurt if I don't get a happy new year text just Want it to be over the N of course is going to a family party where they all think he's mr great and wonderful!! can't get why when he sent that text on 27th he's now ignoring me is it because he said see you in january and I'm trying to talk to him he doesn't like it ? When I seen him on 21st we've text every day and now nothing why? Do you think he's keeping me waiting and will be back in January as he said?? Also people keep saying he has new supply but he's not out seeing these women he's in every night on facebook and dating sites talking to women is this enough supply for him ?? He tells me he's a loner but seems he wants to spend his time with everyone except me! And why does he treat his friends and famili nice but me like shit?? He also subscribes to porn and has pictures of him with his penis naked and aroused and is on sex sites today is not a good day not even managed to get out of bed I don't feel in control going no contact just that I've lost my life and he's happy I was only alive around him I feel as if every thing I had has crumbled why is he back to ignoring me again did I text him too much? Will he be back in janurary or is he finally done with me ? Xxx
Dec 30 - 3PM (Reply to #9)
aj51
aj51's picture

Re: thanks woke up can't stop

See this is one of the dangers with texting – we get so worked up over... why didn’t he text...when is he going to text...I texted him hours ago why hasn’t he responded yet. Trust me I have been in that headspace – it is NOT good. I understand with it being New Years Eve tomorrow it is hard to not reflect back and feel kinda down, but maybe you should think about the happiness you can bring to your life in 2012. What a good way to start a new year by cleansing yourself of the negatives in your life – like initiating no contact with your N – and focusing on you. What did you used to do before he showed up? What hobbies did you have? What passions/interests did you engage in frequently? Is there anything you ever wanted to do that you have been putting off? E.g. learning how to play an instrument, taking salsa lessons, enrolling in a french conversation class etc. Now is the time to learn to take back your life and focus on your own happiness. You got to understand he put you on the backburner and will come calling when he wants to. Please do not wait around until he comes knocking in January. He will just continue to hurt you and play the same games. Even if for awhile things seem great again, it is a circle and he will return to hurting you again. My understanding is that a supply source doesn’t mean he is dating/seeing women. He could be texting several women at once. He may find that talking to women over dating sites to be just as exciting – especially as he isn’t required to be put in an emotional situation – he looks at a screen, not a human. In fact, there are a number of Ns where it isn’t about dating or sleeping with supply sources, it’s just the high they get from talking. Alot of Ns would rather masturbate than have sex, and if they do have sex, it’s from behind so they don’t have to look into your eyes and make an emotional/intimate connection – which they avoid at all costs. As someone on this forum recently reminded me, read and learn – knowledge is power. Alot of the questions I had I simply googled and read various sources of information to make sense of mine own situation but as a starting point, it is key that you understand what makes the N tick – it will bring so much clarity as to how truly sick Ns are. Go checkout the resources I recommended and do some digging on those websites as well. Lock yourself in a room and do some serious reading. In fact maybe that could be a good way to enter the New Year. Download Lisa Scott’s e-book (http://thepathforwardnow.com/)tonight and start reading. I promise you, once you get through the introduction and start into chapter 1 you will feel better because you will have answers to your questions, and exercises on how to move forward. For example, some of the questions the book answers include: Do they miss us? Why do they devalue and discard us? Why is it so hard for us to stay away? How can we stay away? How can we take back control? How can we move on for good? Good luck and hang in there! The more knowledge you gain from reading and learning, the more positive and powerful you will begin to feel - although I will admit parts will hurt, but remember we are all here from one another on this forum to provide support.
Dec 30 - 3PM (Reply to #10)
sadanddown
sadanddown's picture

thank you for your lovely

thank you for your lovely reply,all my friends are married and settled they won't go out all I want was a husband and to have children before I'm too old I'm 37 thought it would be with him I don't want to start again it's him I love thought of meeting another man and starting over makes me feel sick why is he so angry with me when he was ok 3 days ago