Friday, 07 October 2011
Per my last conversation with you this is MY decision
Although you have chosen to abuse me from day one , physically, verbally and emotionally
I stood by you with a true heart
I never wanted anything from you but to LOVE and cherish me and ALL I am
I am AMAZING!!
I never asked to be thrown around like a rag doll
have my grammar corrected
be isolated from my friends
or told what I can and cannot do, or have
I never deserved to be called a Cunt, Bitch or accused CONSTANTLY of cheating < when in fact by texting other girls and flirting you were>
You threatened me of my home, my life, and my SPIRIT
I AM A FREE SPIRIT
You cannot do what you have done and not pay the consequences.
How dare you talked to me like you did yesterday.
You have lied to EVERYONE around you
What a lonely place that must be
Only you , me and GOD knows what you have done to me in these three years behind closed doors.
How dare you tell me I BRING IT OUT OF YOU.
that you only have done this with me.
YOU are the dysfunction
I was innocent
I had guy friends
I had a life
I had a shining light that everyone wanted to be in
I knew many people and many sources that would have led you to your WILDEST DREAMS
I will no longer take any responsibility for these three years
I LOVED YOU, the way love is suppose to be.
I went through thick and thin with you, I was there for you through every shitty thing that happened in your life that had NOTHING
to do with me.
You losing jobs left and right
Every violent act
your step dads murder
You killing our puppy
I protected you and tried to show you a better way.
I accepted the DARKEST side of you .
Things NO ONE but YOU and I know.
I was NEVER enough for you.
You wanted more and more and more
and you went to other woman too to fill the darkness inside your soul.
YOU take responsibility for your actions
In this last act, I THREW YOU OUT
I DO NOT DESERVE HOW YOU TREATED ME EVER
Don't ever contact me again, crying, sobbing , begging me for forgiveness for anything.
I don't care if it's your mom's dead
or your on your deathbed and want to come clean
I should have never came to you when I found out your step dad was murdered.
You had just choked me days prior
I cannot imagine what it feels like now to go back to this dysfunction and watch your mom killing herself everyday with alcohol
NO singing, going out, working out or going back to school or new relationship is going to change any of this.
You have no more power or control over me and I will not carry this pain , guilt or sorrow with me anymore
You dare take everything from me and LIE to my FACE and put your hands on me
I put up with you so long because in my heart I believed all the LOVE I was pouring into you, would come back to me the way I deserved from the start.
But you are a broken record , stuck on replay
in a cycle.
All the sick, evil, twisted stuff you have said to me since being sent back
pushed me over the edge and I sunk to a low and it was poisoning me
After I sent you back to Denver
you said "I'm not suppose to be here"
my mom is drunk and angry
or both all the time
Reconnecting with your father, a woman hater and physical abuser
To a very mean person.
You can bash me in conversation with your family, friends, and your free poker players all you want, make fun of me, cut me down, and continue to lie to others about everything. It only makes you weak
You did steal my cell phone, you did break into my car the night I threw you out.
You continued to contact me and say your empty sorry's and promises.
I have spent three years entirely devoted to YOU.
I have a lot to GIVE
I have a TRUE HEART
And, I am 100% LOYAL
And I have found someone to give that too, that gives me 100% in return.
You LOST something you will NEVER find in this lifetime
And you have to now suffer the consequences of your actions.
This is me taking my life back, and giving you all the memories you can live with
You self destructed this LOVE. YOU
I loved you with everything a person can give another human being
and you were never worthy of it.
I do not love you anymore, you are no longer a part of me or my life