Is this guy a narc, you think? (advice for a friend needed please)

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Nov 28 - 1PM (Reply to #16)
Deidre40
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No, DS…I too out of

No, DS…I too out of everything she said, that struck me as narc-ish. Like laying down guilt to keep her involved with him. Something too that struck me in her stories to me about this guy, is that he told her that women of ‘her age,’ are in their sexual peak…and how they (him and her) would be perfect together, because he can climax twice per day. Hahahaha She said she thought it was sexy at first, but then…with all the mixed messages, that comment just makes her feel gross.
Nov 28 - 1PM
Deidre40
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Lol @ telling him she’s

Lol @ telling him she’s sleeping or busy…hahaha I love you guys. I do. Thanks. I can’t believe there’s a small sliver of me that still thinks not replying is rude. Dang it! Lol I’ll pass along the advice. I do think if he’s not a narc, he’s definitely a game player. She’s in her 30’s…he’s late 20’s. Not sure if that makes a difference. But, just sharing that. I told her he is playing games. She said what’s the motive to do that? I said…sometimes, they just like to see how far they can push someone. How much a woman will tolerate. The less he does, and the more you come forward…it shows him that you are desperate and will accept any kind of treatment, good or bad. I honestly don’t know. But, that’s the best I can come up with for these types. Something that struck me was that he told her he couldn’t believe she’d ‘do this’ right before his birthday. I thought that was telling. Already inflicting guilt.
Nov 28 - 1PM
empath
empath's picture

diagnosis is irrelevant

This guy is just jerking your friend around for his own amusement. He probably still lives at home with his parents. Whether he's a Narc, a commitmentphobe, or just a garden variety assclown is irrelevant. He behaves strangely and sends mixed messages...anyone that sends mixed messages is attempting to destabilize you and make you doubt your own judgment...that is a very dangerous position to allow yourself to fall into. His minimization and trivialization of her concerns when he doesn't call her back, is like gaslighting. His neediness when she tries to shut the friendship down, is controlling behavior. She should run away from this weirdo loser and thank God that it didn't progress to a physical level.
Nov 28 - 1PM
empath
empath's picture

diagnosis is irrelevant

This guy is just jerking your friend around for his own amusement. He probably still lives at home with his parents. Whether he's a Narc, a commitmentphobe, or just a garden variety assclown is irrelevant. He behaves strangely and sends mixed messages...anyone that sends mixed messages is attempting to destabilize you and make you doubt your own judgment...that is a very dangerous position to allow yourself to fall into. His minimization and trivialization of her concerns when he doesn't call her back, is like gaslighting. His neediness when she tries to shut the friendship down, is controlling behavior. She should run away from this weirdo loser and thank God that it didn't progress to a physical level.
Nov 28 - 1PM (Reply to #5)
Deidre40
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i agree. so hilarious though.

i agree. so hilarious though. i too thought he's living at home with his parents. lol i don't know why, but when she started telling me about all this...i just got that impression.
Nov 28 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
empath
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he probably still lives at home with his parents

In the basement, and plays World of Warcraft and Dungeons and Dragons...
Nov 28 - 2PM (Reply to #7)
Deidre40
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wish she could find out for

wish she could find out for sure. she's never been over to his place. what does that tell ya. lol
Nov 28 - 2PM (Reply to #8)
empath
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what does that tell me?

It tells me he lives at home with his parents, in their basement, and plays World of Warcraft and Dungeons and Dragons! Seriously, wtf is your friend wasting time on this guy for? He sounds like a total mess, and not even a hot mess.
Nov 28 - 2PM (Reply to #12)
Deidre40
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i laughed out loud 4 real,

i laughed out loud 4 real, empath. lol :=P that's funny. she thought he was charming, cute, smart. the same things i thought about my ex N...in the beginning. lol
Nov 28 - 2PM (Reply to #9)
Hunter
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Empath

Lol
Nov 28 - 2PM (Reply to #10)
empath
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Hunter

:D
Nov 28 - 8PM (Reply to #11)
Deidre40
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lol ...i reread the comments,

lol ...i reread the comments, and i can't stop laughing empath. :=P
Nov 28 - 1PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Hark Hark.. Yep she found her

Hark Hark.. Yep she found her self a narc.. It's a good idea for her to return the puppy before getting attached.. Narc or not this guy is a game player.. Bye-bye!! Email her this link.. Hunter
Nov 28 - 1PM
Femmegem
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I think steer clear.....

It seems like he wants the 'friendship' on his terms so no! The biggest red flag for me was not replying When she asked what was wrong! Stop replying, its not rude. She's just busy, or sleeping....lol!
Nov 28 - 1PM
Used
Used's picture

deidre40

Have a guess what i would tell her? lol, have another guess what she would say or do if you tell her? tell her?, you shouldnt have to?, even if he is not a narc ...HE IS PLAYING HER.....FRIENDSHIP THEY DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD...NOW FWB, THAT WORD THEY KNOW..