Believe or not, but when I saw I got this email, I thought about you and your lovely "Delete, Delete, Delete!!" I even smiled, but have deleted it only after reading ... Have nothing to say in my defense...
I am not surprised that he wants to have you to talk to about him. He wants to talk about him, and his life, and what happened to him, and what he did, and what he thought about that, and what it means to him, and what it could mean for him in the future, and how much he wants to share it all with you...and them...and the next one...and the last one...and anyone...because he needs an object...and he is wondering if you are shiny and new and available again. If he really knew you wouldn't answer he wouldn't waste his time.
You are a very insightful person, Winter. And you get the disorder very well, you understand it. That you can be triggered just means that you are paying attention, that you have emotions, that you have desires, and that you are a fairly healthy person. Here is your validation...keep up the good work and stay here, thanks for sharing his sickness with us.
You were his bounty??? Objectification, sounds like it anyways.
Double effort the next few days to do nice fun good things for you. Think of some cool things to do and do them. You have a choice to stay free and have light and love in your life, keep making that choice!
ds
Thank you for you wisdom and your logical break down of his message and behavior. Yes, objectification is the right word. I always felt objectified by him anyway. And you are so right when you wrote that he would not waste his time if he would not hope to get his toys back. It is all mindgames. He did not change. I did. Thanks to this forum and to nice and wonderful poeple here.
It is "easy" to be insightful when emotions are not involved. In this relationship I always felt stupid, immature, played and loosing my mind. Never did it happen to me before.
My choice is made. I just want my heart and my emotions to follow me without deviation.
such a loving help to so many in your time here.
I wish I could say something that would magically take the pain away.
His message and words are empty, you know that. They respect no boundaries...he says he knows you will not contact him but he feels free to keep poking at you, stirring things up and triggering you. REJECT IT!
Winter, I know it's hard to not read the messages, but maybe next time you could just hit delete before reading. The messages will all be the same, and as Hunter says, all "scrambled eggs." His supply is low and he thinks little of toying with you for his own selfish needs. Who the f**k does he think he is to "grant you" the "great gift" (GAG) of him "never forgetting you," and "you being his bounty," and to "live, laugh and love..." Ugh! It's not even original!
I'm sorry if this sounds mean because I don't mean it that way. I hate that this guy hurts you. I hate the pain he has caused you. I admire your strength and insight and beauty and do not want him messing with it. He does not deserve you!
Winter, I hope you will just try to remember the REALITY of what it FELT LIKE to be in a so-called "relationship" with this guy...remember how he acted about his Florida trip, etc. Remember how you were always uncertain about where you really stood. Remember the ACTIONS and dismiss these sappy, pretty dime a dozen words. HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO HAVE ONE INCH OF YOUR LIFE ANY MORE!
Hugs to you my sweet friend. Stay strong. This will pass.
Love,
(determined to never again be) spinning. IT'S HARD, BUT I'M DETERMINED TO NOT SPIN FOR ANY MAN, FOR ANYONE
I did not sound mean, it sounded just right and fair. And these are the words I did need to hear. And, if the kind and gentle person you are who has so much tact wrote it, it means a lot to me. I will tell you more: you voiced what I was afraid to admit to myself. I just felt bad, I did not know why.
Yes, you hit the nail: it is like he "granted" me by calling me his bounty and telling me all this BS. Sounds so condescending! Like I am a little girl who needs his validation! I might need it, but definitely not from him anymore! That is why I keep NC . I haven’t answered a dozen of his sms, emails, IMs. I did not accept to come to see him when he came to have “the talk”. So why on earth would he imagine I need his “grant” and his reassurance that he will never forget me? He d’ better to keep his emotions for him now.
Thank you so much for your understanding and right words.
BUT I bet everything you have read is all about him. Where are you in the bigger picture? Just sit back, reflect and digest. Ask yourself those questions and see whether you figure in any of the equation.
IT IS ALL ABOUT HIM. I guess, hopefully that is your evaluvation too.
Do you want to repeat the same old, same old? With the same result?
Sending you much strength and awareness to make the right decision for YOURSELF.
Dee x
Thank you for making me to realize it. The worst thing is it seems to me that he even doesn't get it. This behavior is just so natural for him! Unbelievable!
I received the strength you sent me from the other side of the Atlantic ocean :) Thank you!
Is there no limit to the pitiful ways these sickos resort to? 5 months is so great!! STAY STRONG Winter, I know this is very hard. They pull at our heart strings, and they know all our vurnerabilities. I am a newbie here, only on 22 days NC- but I am better at helping others too, or I try.
he must be very low on supply, and seeking anything from you. This is a GUILT TRIP from him, he is trying to make it seem he is remorseful. Why did it take him 5 months to be "SORRY"? NORMAL people know immediately when they hurt someone, or at very least it doesnt take 5 months to feel sorry.
he has no one there to baby HIM, to lick HIS wounds- do you notice there is nothing in that sentence about YOU?
YOU ARE WHAT IS IMPORTANT, LET HIM SUFFER in the SH*T STORM HE CREATED.
I know easier said than done, because mine hasnt hoovered and wont.
But, my heart is writing this to you, DELETE and keep your no contact.
YOU ARE WINNING, STRONGER NOW and he WANTS TO TAKE IT AWAY AGAIN , suck you of your life force AGAIN, and EAT YOU ALIVE.
Its poison!
Like the witch that brought the apple to Snow White.
with REAL love, SG
Yes, you are right, normal people don't hurt in the first place and, if by mistake or ignorance they do, then they immediately do something to rectify it. They do not enjoy and they don't feel powerful for hurting us.
Yes, he wants to "eat me alive", so well said. He always sucked my life force. I felt so empty all the time after seeing him.
Thank you
Hmm... kind of deja vu...
What they said. Remember
Hunter
I am not surprised that he
Thank you DS
Dearest Winter, you have been
spinning
Dear Friend (who is not spinning anymore)
I feel for you Winter
Yes, all about him
Dear Winter
Dear Savegaia