Don't be fooled, the NARC'S are setting up their "Winter Nests."

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October 15, 2011 - 11:37pm (Reply to #39)
Susan32's picture

Tolstoy as therapy...

It took time and PLENTY of NC to really appreciate them as great studies on NPD... since Tolstoy was a major Narc. Alexei Karenin is a classic cerebral Narc... and the way he treats Anna, like a child, wow. I wrote an essay about how Alexei Karenin and Constantine Levin's relationships with their wives are more father/daughter than husband/wife.... and I was penning this essay during the final D&D. Writing helped me heal. Subconsciously, I was unearthing the problems between the ex-Psych prof and I... and might have inadvertently ruined "Anna Karenina" FOR HIM. He was paranoid that I'd read "War and Peace".... too bad that on a recent vacation I unearthed my 15 year old, mostly untouched copy of it. Sorta surreal. Time, distance, NC made "War and Peace" enlightening (especially on NPD) rather than traumatizing.
October 14, 2011 - 3:22pm
indenial's picture


Cos mine didn't seem to care whether it was winter or summer and he ruined christmas because he couldn't enjoy it and discarded me a few days before just to then ruin any christmas I might have had without him and he spent christmas day driving round stalking me ! Neither of us even had a christmas dinner ! Seasons don't seem to affect him. He's in a permanent winter. Don't get me doubting he's a narc again :(
October 15, 2011 - 2:04am (Reply to #36)
Journey's picture


Stop being in denial! Lol Seriously, narcs will ruin all the holidays and be a general pain in our hearts all throughout the year - no need to doubt that! Yours likely also suffers from depression or other anxieties - but that does not make him less a narc!

Journey on...

October 14, 2011 - 3:32pm (Reply to #35)
Used's picture

Don't get me doubting he's a

Don't get me doubting he's a narc again :( WHY, he is a grade A ARSEHOLE....what diffrence would it make with a label....he ruins everything he touches, every holiday,christmas, and b/c the seasons dont seem to affect him, he might not be a narc.....omg,whats the diffrence...he is alowlife scumbag.....thats the unofficial name for them...
October 14, 2011 - 3:31pm (Reply to #34)
Layla's picture

Never doubt for a second yours is an N!

Mine ruined EVERY Christmas too! 8 of them! All the way through New Years was HELL! And my abuser was diagnosed N/AsPD- Never doubt your disordered one is disordered! I agreed completely with Goldie because my abuser husband consistantly treated me like CRAP spring into the summer EVERY year and pulled some of his biggest bullshit in the summer....God how I hate that man! Thank the good Lord- this Christmas is going to be so SPECTACULAR for me and my boys and my family N FREE!!! I am soooooooo looking forward to the holidays for once! : )) love~ Layla
October 14, 2011 - 2:43pm
darling.girl's picture


Wow, this hits the nail on the head. November is when my narc sought me out for the very first time. During the two years that I spent trying to reel him back to me, summers were the most impossible time. He was "living a life," having fun. Most likely seeing other women. Summer was the time when I had the least ability to get him to talk to me. He actually asked me to not contact him UFN. What's UFN? Until further notice. Really?! He claimed he didn't have his cell phone password protected in the summer because of sailing and wanting others on the water to be able to use it in the case of an emergency. No one else has a cell phone? Yes, but not a smartphone. Honey, if they're from your neighborhood they travel with a waterproof, flatscreen TVs. Anyway, now I know not talking is what's absolutely necessary. Maybe this summer will be joyous without all the drama. As for the upcoming holidays, I expect that I will have lots of moments of weakness when everything will be a reminder of the fairy tale time - cozy fires, holiday lights. It's going to be tough. You're right. I think that's why many are breaking no contact. I'll be struggling right there with you all, soon. It's only a matter of time.
October 15, 2011 - 12:06am (Reply to #31)
rosedewittbukater's picture


this sailing phone thing? Darling Girl, that is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard! What a jerk!
October 17, 2011 - 12:53pm (Reply to #32)
darling.girl's picture


Yes, what a jerk! It's amazing how LONG it's taken for me to get past the denial. Almost two years! All the excuses I made for his excuses. Yes, but he still loves me because __________________. I could kick myself. They are masters at deception, mind games, playing to their audience, always dangling what you want in front of you, but taking it back just as you think you are about to get your hands on it. It is a major mind f***. I feel so stupid, sometimes. I mean I have an advanced degree. He even used that against me saying: "You're educated. Why do you continue (to contact me)? What would you advise a paying patient? (i.e., you are crazy for continuing to try with me)" Essentially, he taunted me because I fell for the con games that he wanted me to fall for. The ways they can break you are myriad.
October 14, 2011 - 2:10pm
dabussard's picture


Mine D&D me in April and told me he would see me in Not gonna happen with this girl!!! You are so dead on that it makes my skin crawl...
October 14, 2011 - 2:03pm
Deidre40's picture

I'm sitting here fascinated

I'm sitting here fascinated right now. really?? they do this??? glad i changed my phone number hee hee! :=)
October 15, 2011 - 2:23pm (Reply to #28)
Ndance's picture

Deidre, I did the same exact

Deidre, I did the same exact thing because he always initiates contact during Thanksgiving and around Christmas and wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be able to this year. I'll be damned if he ruins anymore holidays for me.
October 14, 2011 - 1:46pm
Hunter's picture

They are gathering their

They are gathering their "NUTS" for the winter! You bettcha !! Hunter
October 14, 2011 - 3:28pm (Reply to #26)
faithinthefuture's picture


Hunter that is fricking hilarious!!!!! Mines probably growing his winter coat too. Oh wait! He had it all year long! EWWWWW!!!! And he had no particular season. He hunted 365 days a year!
October 14, 2011 - 2:15pm (Reply to #19)
Used's picture


they are nuts alright.... like giant fat squirrels, hibernating in our
October 14, 2011 - 2:28pm (Reply to #20)
Hunter's picture

And Playing with " nuts" is

And Playing with " nuts" is also part of their charm!! Hunter
October 14, 2011 - 10:01pm (Reply to #25)
Sea's picture

LoL this is so funny!

LoL this is so funny!
October 14, 2011 - 3:30pm (Reply to #21)
faithinthefuture's picture

Bet if they could

Bet if they could they'd cram them in their cheeks too!
October 14, 2011 - 3:39pm (Reply to #23)
Used's picture

yeah,and in their mouths

yeah,and in their mouths too...oh sorry you ment my narc looks like this anyway...fatpuff cheeks....he is such a greedy bastard...he will take a bite out of a sandwich,then a cake, back to the sandwich...we went out for a meal, he had the dinner,ordered it again,and then ate the rest of mine,that looking at him had turned me off of....
October 14, 2011 - 4:09pm (Reply to #24)
faithinthefuture's picture

lol used

yeah :-)too funny Mine could shove sooo much food in his mouth at one time, chew twice & swallow. Gross!
October 14, 2011 - 3:38pm (Reply to #22)
Hunter's picture

Nuts,nuts,and more

Nuts,nuts,and more nuts Hunter
October 14, 2011 - 1:36pm
Used's picture

thankyou goldie

Tho i met narc in the march, it didnt get full on till july, I used to invite him home, he said no....then one day he said yes...NOVEMBER....he had also, I know now met his ow in he had 2 warm homes to go fed...use my laptop[scream scream]....use my tv ,but most of all use me...that was daytime, he had to leave at 9pm cos I insisted on this cos he drained me[Bigredflag] then went on to the ow,s....i know this days with me, nights with her.... not a bad life, for a lowlife scumbag....he must have thought he was in heaven......
October 14, 2011 - 2:56pm (Reply to #17)
darling.girl's picture

Energy of a narc

Wow. Another on the spot characterization. My narc worked variable shifts, would travel by train through several states to see me, take the train back home and go to work without a stop home. I marveled at it. At the time, I thought he was so in love in me that he would move mountains to be with me. No, he would do whatever he had to do to get his supply, and baby, I was a great source of supply. I am so glad I found this site. Description after description is so on target. It's amazing how wonderful they can make themselves look to us and then we read each others' posts and find out that underneath they are the SAME. NOTHING unique. As my sister said, you thought you got your Prince Charming and he would up being a used car salesman.
October 14, 2011 - 1:53pm (Reply to #14)
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Used, I couldn't help but

Used, I couldn't help but wonder in learning of your narcs busy schedule how the hell he managed to pull that off. I couldn't imagine having that much energy. Then it hit me, they get the energy from the supply...holy shit...we give it to them freely...the energy to keep screwing with our lives. Nc really does cut off the supply, literally! How cool is that. ds
October 16, 2011 - 1:53am (Reply to #16)
ifinallygotit's picture

done sourcing

Is always very very smart. Please keep posting!
October 14, 2011 - 2:04pm (Reply to #15)
Used's picture


yes, they get it from us, but if you think about my exn all he done was what a *normal* man who do in a day and night, but withonly one women...he used to phone about 10am, i either went out and met him,or he came here, then he would leave at 9pm,and go to her...get something else to eat[he doesnt stop eating], then tv i guess, but with her ,sex and bed...i am guessing he stayed the night, but early on in the game, he said i never stay all night[not about me] i do what i have to do and leave about 2/3, i thought he was talking about past r/s...not an ongoing with about live and learn....but i can handle that...what did suprise me...that his ow stood for that.i wouldnt let a man round at 9pm at night for food and sex....i would ask him where the fuck he has been......but thats another
October 14, 2011 - 1:35pm
greengirl91's picture

Omg, Goldie this post is so

Omg, Goldie this post is so true! I was like "A-HA!" for many times, while reading. They change with the seasons! That part described my N head to toe! He D&D after the winter was almost over. He had a song for me from Led Zeppelin, "Baby, I`ll leave you when the summer comes along!" Haha, no wonder! No more, no more. When you get to the point when you see through them so well, they are really predictable.
October 14, 2011 - 1:29pm
58 and going strong
58 and going strong's picture

Thanks, Goldie, and add to

Thanks, Goldie, and add to their securing winter supply our own higher susceptibility at that time of the year: Shorter days, more rain, gloomy days and generalized winter depression setting in . . . Nobody wants to be lonely, and especially not over the holidays.-- And now I understand why the majority of my relationships since the time I started dating about 40 years ago would beginn in fall.
October 14, 2011 - 1:21pm
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

Goldie, Areyou sure its not

Goldie, Areyou sure its not the Halloween Syndrome. These Narcs feel especially comfortable on that day because everyone wears a mask. Trick or treat, or in their case it is always treat then trick... ds
October 14, 2011 - 4:04pm (Reply to #10)
heritage's picture


Smiling here ds! Good one!!!!!!!!!!
October 14, 2011 - 2:36pm (Reply to #9)
Winter's picture

Treat then trick... lol

Thanks DS foa a good portion of laugh!
October 14, 2011 - 1:31pm (Reply to #8)
58 and going strong
58 and going strong's picture

ds, would give you several

ds, would give you several more up-votes if I could . . . Thanks for the big smile you brought to me!
October 14, 2011 - 1:24pm (Reply to #7)
Goldie's picture

Good 1 DS, Lol

Yes, sounds about right. God bless, Goldie
October 14, 2011 - 1:12pm
rosedewittbukater's picture

Winter nests

Eegads. My narc was the opposite for some reason. Both my D&D happened a few weeks before Thanksgiving (one year apart). Well I guess there is exception to every rule! Thanks for this though. Gosh the holidays are a tough time of year. hugs, Rose
October 14, 2011 - 1:38pm (Reply to #5)
Goldie's picture

Yes, Rose the Holidays are tough

Thank goodness we all have each other for the upcoming Holiday Season. God bless, Goldie
October 14, 2011 - 1:11pm
Tigerlily's picture

Thanks Goldie!

This is amazing! I met mine beginning of September, we got together end of October, first D&D late May, severe withdrawal on his part the following fall, really bad behaviour caused me to leave him in Spring the following year. Are they really that predictable, primitive and pre-programmed? (Rhetorical question). I appreciate you immensely! Tigerlily
October 14, 2011 - 1:10pm
Kukla's picture


"Winter Fuckfest Nests" Where my ExN lives in the winter it's extremely cold and desolate. Last winter when he was charming the bejeezus out of me and I came to the realization reading this that's what he was EXACTLY doing! AIYAH!!! I'm just hoping now that he got married in May to his "Mommy" that he leaves me the F*** alone and doesn't come sniffing. Yeah NC for the past 5 months has been soooo wonderful, peaceful, drama-free....ahhhhhhhhhhh
October 14, 2011 - 1:06pm
Layla's picture

You are SO right, Goldie!!!!!!

OMG!!!! I am stunned you posted this, my jaw is dropped you are so DEAD ON it's unreal!!! God, these PD's make me sick, mine included....this is so spot on it isn't even funny........... love~ Layla