Don't be fooled, the NARC'S are setting up their "Winter Nests."

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October 25, 2012 - 9:59am (Reply to #88)
Goldie
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You go IB

October 25, 2012 - 10:12am (Reply to #89)
IncognitoBurrito
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Whew! Had me for a min!

October 26, 2012 - 8:33am (Reply to #90)
Goldie
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Lol, IB

October 23, 2012 - 6:43pm (Reply to #85)
IncognitoBurrito
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NC

October 16, 2012 - 8:46am
virgoluv
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this just

October 22, 2012 - 5:51am (Reply to #83)
Goldie
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Yes, we were all just "fillers"

October 16, 2012 - 7:30am
talktothehand
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Winter in Narcnia

October 16, 2012 - 7:14am
Kukla
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LinkedIn

October 16, 2012 - 6:59am
Kukla
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So True

October 16, 2012 - 7:09am (Reply to #79)
talktothehand
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LinkedIn

October 16, 2012 - 6:58am
petite7heaven
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Hi so true....

October 23, 2012 - 3:26pm (Reply to #77)
petite7heaven
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Yup Goldie's Right!

October 16, 2012 - 6:43am
Canada
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goldie, you made my day with

October 16, 2012 - 4:12am
Used
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goldie,

October 15, 2012 - 12:58pm
CrAzY4trying
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omg just what i needed to read!!!

October 15, 2012 - 3:29pm (Reply to #73)
Deidre99
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lol he brought back a xmas

October 15, 2012 - 1:02pm (Reply to #70)
talktothehand
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Ho ho ho

October 24, 2012 - 5:28am (Reply to #71)
Dragonlady
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Looking

October 24, 2012 - 8:51am (Reply to #72)
talktothehand
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No

October 14, 2012 - 8:06am
brokenacc
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This explains it now

October 14, 2012 - 8:17am (Reply to #66)
Used
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broken

October 14, 2012 - 2:19pm (Reply to #68)
Goldie
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Thanks Used

October 14, 2012 - 8:22am (Reply to #67)
brokenacc
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Thanks Used

October 12, 2012 - 6:14pm
TNR1
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11 months....hoover

October 12, 2012 - 4:06pm
Marlinmom
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Zap

October 12, 2012 - 11:28am
shock and awe.some
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Thx for this post

October 12, 2012 - 9:58am
Deidre99
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Yes, echoing NLB...this is a

October 12, 2012 - 12:42pm (Reply to #61)
Darlene
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Narc time!!! OMG!!!This sooo

October 12, 2012 - 3:52am
neverlookback
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Goldie

October 12, 2012 - 9:54am (Reply to #59)
Goldie
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Yes, NLB, Everyday is a Holiday without the Narc

October 15, 2011 - 4:38pm
greengirl91
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"Deck the halls with boughs

"Deck the halls with boughs of holly Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la 'Tis the season when Narcs are coming Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la Pay Attention to the Hooverings Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la. Ditch their arses to their Mommas Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!" Thought this would be funny to share, and on the spot about Goldie`s post!! This is the Winter Season almost dear frieds, pay attention and STAY STRONG (including myself :], because the hooverings are starting!! And the Switches from one woman, to another. Stay strong, and ditch their a*ses, where they belong! Out of YOUR life.
October 15, 2011 - 9:10am
tynk3377
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hmmm

Met mine in November... 1st Christmas as daters simple,wonderful...just what it should have been. His 1st birthday together...nice,awesome,just what it should have been. My 1st birthday together...he outdid himself...must have burnt him out because that was it... From that point on (married now) every holiday was ruined...a fight was some how started and I was told to *get the F out*, and spent every holiday alone...except of course his birthday...some how I was always wooed back in for that event....kicked out soon after so 4th July was destroyed, the whole summer destroyed, the coming holidays destroyed...oh in between I was hoovered and lulled back in and like a fool in love I went because my marriage meant something to me... Hind sight...he claimed he never cheated on me...I don't believe him....proof or not, I don't care...he is a worthless piece of shit and a pathological liar...he lied so smoothly that, yes, I would call him a sociopath and not bat an eye, except of course for the embarrassment of being taken for a ride and getting in the car willingly. Dumped for every holiday and summers? Then being told all he did was sit around and cry over me...hahahahaha....then of course over hearing conversations about what he really was doing.... I do not wish him ill, I believe in karma...but I do pity his next victim...
October 15, 2011 - 5:11pm (Reply to #54)
Syren66 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Also met mine in

Also met mine in November... 1st Christmas together? Great! (with the noted exception of his mother giving him underwear...ick) 1st Valentine's Day? Great! Diamond and platinum earrings from him. My 1st Birthday? Meh...I'd dumped him the month earlier over how disrespectful I thought it was that he slept through a date we had planned...we were tentatively back together on my b/day. 1st 4th of July? He had to work...nothing notable. His 1st birthday? Sucked...mommy planned his birthday party (and did so for every birthday of his after as well) at her house. Every single occasion after the first year sucked. He would become predictably depressed around TGiving and Christmas...many of them he had to work...New Year's Eve...we never celebrated - he usually had to work and if he didn't, HE didn't like crowds, so going out was never an option... I want to barf just thinking about this.
October 11, 2012 - 8:49am (Reply to #55)
Sealcard1113 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

November here too.....

October 11, 2012 - 8:54am (Reply to #56)
Goldie
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Yes and your comment was posted at 1110 Reads

October 15, 2011 - 3:48am
ifinallygotit
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The cold truth of this post

is tough to take, heart breaking, but these are the things we have to be able to face to get real - this one really really hurts me - we spent alot of intimate time together over 10 years and knowing it was just convenience is a killer... Thank you again Goldie for helping me be strong enough to look at this thing head on.
October 15, 2011 - 1:41am
Journey
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This is completely true of

This is completely true of narcs! I always wondered why when the warmer weather and sun came out my exN would devalue my company and need to take a 'break' from our relationship, then, when the cold and dark came he'd want to be all close again. The final D&D happened in our third spring/summer, after he found new supply for the next upcoming fall/winter. He discarded her the spring after when he moved on (with another overlap of course), to the next new supply source. Since then I've lost track and really don't want to know anymore, but I did notice this was a pattern of his long before I discovered he is a narc. That in turn validated so much and really helped me to let go of believing in the 'closeness' I thought we had during those cold, dark, winter nights together. Journey on...

Journey on...

October 15, 2011 - 1:33am
ifinallygotit
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embarrassing to admit

I was always away over the holidays so I missed TG and Christmas all the years we were going together but I know he was glad. He only wanted to be with his family on holidays - not me. And he did not include me in family dinners ever. He only spent Valentines Day and my birthday with me - he even did not want to spend New years eve with me - he was with his famous buddies and would just call me or text me and I took this shit - I accepted all his crazy rejecting stuff after a few years when I was trained - he really hurt me bad
October 15, 2011 - 2:12am (Reply to #49)
tresor2
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Nothing to be embarrassed about, Ifinally,

the asshole should be embarrassed for treating you that way. Your story is identical to mine in terms of holidays and his "important" friends. Also, the text thing, and I took his shit too. Very crazymaking and it destroyed my self-esteem for a very long time. I didn't believe he was with buddies because he really didn't have any. My belief was that he was with OW, that was the crazymaking part. Good news is, we're both out of it.
October 15, 2011 - 3:44am (Reply to #50)
ifinallygotit
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thanks for support

Mine really was show boating downtown being the big man here with his famous buddy - he preferred his male friends over the ladies - he only liked ladies to show off to his male friends and occaisional sex , not their actual company tho I am sure there were plenty of women around - I never felt like he left me for another woman but more to pursue his old image, his last shot of being famous at 55 after being a nobody for 15 years - smoking pot unemployed...his image was his love. I think I am still very freaked out a year later but slowly healing...I have had lousy BF before but never knew it could get this bad with a man - that I meant nothing to someone for ovr a decade - the other terrible boyfriends at least loved me and regretted their actions later
October 14, 2011 - 10:06pm
Sea
Sea's picture

Goldie, it doesnt snow where

Goldie, it doesnt snow where i am and hardly too cold. Narc is active all year round plenty supplies! I reckon 1 narc will destroy at least a hundred woman in his life time and hurt a couple more hundreds along the way.
October 14, 2011 - 10:05pm
Redhead1
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It sickens me to even think

It sickens me to even think about my narc to try and realize a pattern on him. I have to say his bridge has been burned. I will buy a snuggie to stay warm and go work in a soup kitchen for the holidays. Read something the other day, cant remember if it was on here or not. You are the only person that is always with you, so be good to you! I hope you all love yourself enough to burn that narcs bridge!
October 14, 2011 - 9:12pm
ifinallygotit
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OHHH , thanks!

I never knew why the silent treatment only came in the summer. I thought it was because his kids were visiting him!!! I can be dense...
October 15, 2011 - 1:53am (Reply to #45)
Journey
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It's not a matter of being

It's not a matter of being dense, mine had plenty of excuses too which were very plausible for why he would withdraw from our relationship during the summer. It was a feeling I had early on with him because his behavior changed so much depending on the weather and the seasons, spring was always the worst devaluing and with summer would come the distance. I can't even think of one fun summer thing we did that felt good to me regarding our relationship. He was always the coldest when it was hottest outside and my worst memories with him happened on some very beautiful sunny days.

Journey on...

October 14, 2011 - 7:51pm
tresor2
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Summer/Winter

This article is applicable to many but, not all. In my case, N had the money to travel to warmer places during the cold season; Africa, Europe, China and that's what he did. He had no intention of settling down with one person in the winter but, of course, kept his supply dangling for when he decided to give up a few crumbs. Last year, he asked someone to move in; after he lost a ton of money due to the bad economy. Said he needed help with business and maybe was feeling needy due to monetary losses. I wouldn't give him the $300,000 he asked for, LOL. Maybe he's in love now; the narc version. The latter part of the year has been a major trigger for me because I'm sentimental. I'm determined to stay strong this year and not fall into the same trap. Many of the recent relapses were triggered by "us" breaking NC, not N and maybe they were driven by the nesting urge. Either way, it's a recipe for disaster. I'm to the point that I don't give a sh*t as to what they want. Winter may get more lonely but, clubs do a thriving business during the end of the year. There's a ton of action out there and ample supply for the Narc population. Thanks Scoop
October 15, 2011 - 1:59am (Reply to #42)
Journey
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Tresor2

Can't you see how exactly applicible this is to your exN? He had the resources to leave in the winter to go somewhere warm which was enough for him, he didn't need to nest because he didn't have to. Those without the resources MUST nest or risk short supply. Once his resources took a beating and his circumstances changed your exN DID nest - that's likely the ONLY reason. Next time you think there is anything 'real' about him living with his supply now, keep that in mind. Love IS NOT why he's doing it!

Journey on...

October 15, 2011 - 5:22pm (Reply to #43)
tresor2
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Now that you point it out , Journey,

yes I can. He nested because of his monetary situation, not the weather; I believe it happened in summer, about the time his money issues hit the roof. I know he needed someone to help with his business since his bookkeeper was fired. Either way, he's gone for good and I need to get it together. Thanks Journey
October 14, 2011 - 8:14pm (Reply to #41)
juliamarie
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Agh....I'm was about to be a victim

This was so timely. My Narc wanted me to spend New Year's with him. I didn't commit. I really didn't think about it in the way that you presented, but I think I'm just NS until things get better for him. So brutal to know that I'm just a game to him. Thanks for the reminder. I needed it.
October 14, 2011 - 6:44pm
Susan32
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Always winter but never Christmas

While many NPD sites note that D&Ds happen in the spring/summertime, the mating season... my final D&D was in autumn/fall. The ex-Psych prof D&D'd me from September-November, and his girlfriend moved in with him in December (but she got to be a June bride, so he followed a cliche) His favorite character, Prince Andrei in "War and Peace",marries the much younger Princess Lisa in the wintertime. His idol, Leo Tolstoy, wed Sofia in September... and did his final D&D of her in the November of 1910. So, like the Ice Queen of Narnia, with the ex-P it was "always winter, but never Christmas." When I lost my job at the Narc workplace, it was before the annual Christmas party in early December. At my Narc workplace, the holidays were always the WORST time of year. A former tradition (discontinued by the time I was hired) was that the managers who ran it (a married couple) would give a Christmas card to their employees, regaling them with all their holiday vacations, going to ski resorts, etc, when the employees are barely paid above minimum wage.
October 15, 2011 - 9:38pm (Reply to #38)
dulcinea441
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Anna Karenina has always been

Anna Karenina has always been one of my all-time favorite novels. Reading your posts about the ex-Psych Prof and Tolstoy really bums me out! I don't know if I can ever enjoy his novels again, lol.