What Were the Hallmarks of Your Narc?

1. Never, ever, ever said sorry no matter what inexcusable action he'd done. He refused to accept that it was wrong. I had PMS; it was my fault, not him. 2. Highly critical of my every flaw. I didn't polish my nails enough for him, my make-up was smudged, I ate too much (he was fat; I was normal sized). He even criticized the color of my eyeliner one time. Wtf? Do normal men even pay attention to this type of thing? 3. Refused to ever give me compliments. If others complimented me, he got angry 4. Gaslight, gaslight, gaslight. He stole my things, he threw my contact lenses away :( he swore I had done or said things that has never happened. 5. Sneaky little fucker 6. He would cycle for a few days with a normal mood, then pick a fight every few days by waiting for me to do or say something "wrong.". Usually it was something stupid that a normal man would never get upset about. 7. Projection King! He claimed I was untrustworthy when I had never dine a single thing to give him that impression. He was a cheater, not me. 8. OCD about cleaning. Implied that I was dirty by repeating asking if I had showered that day. Or cleaned my hands after the bathroom, etc. 9. Never on time to meet me. Fuck me if I had the audacity to complain. 10. When we were together, it was "his time." So at the mall or grocery, he would shop for things he wanted. If I stepped away to look at something for myself, he would get angry and tell me I needed to come back later on my own and go that on my "own time." 11. Refused to wear condoms because he "couldn't feel anything.". This was of course, my fault for not having been a virgin ( how dare I not save myself for him!) but he has a teeny dick. 12. Intentionally frustrated me sexually by trying to bring me to the edge of orgasm and then quickly stopping, ensuring that I was never satisfied. 13. I could do nothing correctly. He critiqued the way I washed my laundry, packed a suitcase, blew my nose. Really, he critiqued me nose-blowing method, saying I wasn't blowing hard enough.

The ex-Psych prof: 1)Couldn't stand being thanked 2)Claimed to be oh so sensitive about HIS feelings, but would ream me in regard to mine 3)Couldn't stand being ridiculed-yet he mocked me when my grandfather died. He mocked me, but I was NOT allowed to mock him. However, that rule was changed. BY ME. FOR ME. 4)Kicked me when I was down-ridicule when my grandfather died, flaunted his girlfriend when my pastor friend died. 5)Couldn't stand it if I praised his accomplishments, couldn't stand being wished a happy birthday 6)Constant pity party-thank God I learned how to crash and totally ruin those. His colleagues didn't acknowledge his greatness, he had stupid students, etc. 7)Downplayed my accomplishments 8)Couldn't stand seeing me happy. He'd accuse me of being an unhappy person. I wasn't allowed to end a phone call with "have a happy day" or "have a nice evening." I was commanded to end it with a bland, emotionless "bye" or "goodbye." 9)Boring 10)Incapable of original ideas. Always quoting someone else. NC inflicted narcissistic injury (of course it does) But I learned so did my being happy or mocking him to his face. Once I learned how to inflict those, it was like a mountain lion when it sees a lone coyote, far from its protective pack. Yum. Lunchtime.

1. Extremely niggardly with gifts, praise, time or anything else 2. Passive aggressive 3. Regarded anything not slavishly worshipping or attentive as an attack, an insult or a humiliation. 4. Chronically sensitive with regard to his own "feelings" and a Juggernaut with regard to anyone else`s. 5. Blaming - everything he did wrong was always someone else`s fault. 6. Kicking me when I was down (criticism or walking out). 7. FURIOUS when I received attention, praise or any kind of success. 8. Always and immediately aggressive when anything was needed or required of him. 9. Could switch on the charm instantaneously for any new supply. 10. Withholding. 11. Gaslighting. 12. Deliberately making weird, unsettling remarks where I was feeling happy. 13. Shunning. 14. Shaming. 15. Creating personal space with noise (usually his own yelling, sometimes with music). 16. Denigrating others (everyone except himself, me in particular). God what an asswipe.

Narc #1: Violent(beat the crap out of me) jealous, liar, selfish, extremely controlling, in fact everything on the recognize your with a psycho list. Narc #2: Selfish, compulsive liar, jealous, passive aggressive, two faced, cowardly, almost everything on the narc list apart from he never hit me.

Accomplishments of others were put down behind their backs (he'd vent to me). He'd squash my accomplishments in person. Not letting anyone pay for their meals if we went to dinner in groups, but would appear irritated if anyone thanked him. Terrible pity parties about how life sucks, his life sucks, people suck, blah blah blah. He'd be so sweet and smiley to everybody and as soon as they were out of sight, he'd talk smack about them. Odd eating habits. He'd get stuck on something for a month or so and have to have it every single day, then would switch to something else for a month or so, then complain if the prior was not in the house. Could not do anything without the tv on. There are so many. This would take all day. LOL