Almost married a Narc's Story

Its along one-I met the Narc 2 years ago, he charmed me and swept me off my feet nice dinners, random gifts and flowers, he was also very attentive and affectionate. Almost immediately i felt some red flags or somethign was not right. Of course I ignored it. I actually tried to tell him to slow down and that I was not ready for a relationship but he persisted in many ways. He booked a trip to Florida even though I did not say yes to go, i thought what the hell it is spontanous so I went BAD IDEA, the emotional attachment began. 3 months later I was moving in and 9 months later engaged. At first he was controlling and didnt like me going out without him. (After he had me ring on finger he didnt care, in fact he wanted to go out to bars with his friends more often without me) Living together I learned about his depression, addiction to vicodin, low low sex drive, sleeping problems and dependency on pills to fix many of his health problems. I thought I had to work through these issues and help him because this was the man i was going to marry. BUT i could not feel at ease or trust him, i found an email he sent to another girl commenting on her nice thighs and big titties, they went to hightschool together, I called him out on it and he said "thats how we used to talk to each other, its nothing, we were always friends who joked like that" I left upset and he kept calling me then came home with a diamond bracelet. Yes I am ashamed to have forgiven him but after all like he said "it wasnt cheating and I would never cheat on you" Time went on, a few more lies (never cheated) I could not ignore all the issues I decided to postpone the wedding. He did everything he could to change my mind, make me feel bad etc. Finally he agreed and all of the sudden became a "perfect guy" for a little while. I started to become very frustrated it seemed everything we talked about and things he would stop doing like looking at porn all the time or being more helpful around the house,not taking pills etc.. he would do again and then make an excuse "well you drink wine, or i will stop i am sorry and cry about it" The arguments got worse, i began yelling and calling him names, he told me I need help and to get on anti depressants. I thought I was the crazy one. We went to counseling and things seemed to be better for a little while, the wedding was back on.. another BIG mistake. I spent alot of time and energy planning the wedding HE WANTED, I wanted a small wedding he had to have a big greek wedding in a the greek church (i am not greek) I went along with it, working so hard making ceremony programs learning about the greek traditions. We had our bridal shower and everything. Things started to resurface and arguments started again, on the night of my bachelorette party (he went on his bachelor party the same night) he called at 5 a.m. saying he got into an argument with my brother i was not in the right frame of mind to talk rationally sense i was out all night being fed drinks. I hung up the phone and tried to go to bed he continued to call and things just got worse. We had an argument and the next day he didnt come home or want to talk to me. Two days go by I pleaded with him to talk about what happened our wedding was in 4 weeks. He started to text to me I am abusive and he cannot take my erratic behavior, he can never do anything right and nothing ever changes. He cant marry me and we are not compatable.
I was devasted. I said how sorry i was for arguing with him and if he really feels that way I respect his decision. He said thank you and that was it. I moved my stuff out. Well all of the sudden he says i didnt want you to move out, I just didnt think we should be married. Went to his entire family, telling him how I was so mean to him etc. I ignored him and went nc. He is still contacting me asking for another chance saying he made a mistake, he cries, he makes me feel bad for him. He said he called of the wedding hoping this would make the relationship stronger.. I am thankful everyday he called off the wedding. I learned to read right throught his emails and texts. I noticed all of his statements are "I"I"I" he is lonely he is unhappy, and he wants me to make it better. I am so happy I am no longer responsible to make him happy. I am learning everyday to make myself happy.