First, let me say we have a long distance relationship, but speak and/or email everyday. We visit back and forth regularly, sharing the beauty and historical signifigance of each others countries. He is fun to be with and travel with and I love the anticipation of being with him. When we are together, everything is wonderful, but after two or three weeks apart, he becomes distant and becomes emotionally abusive at times. He then acts as though nothing was wrong, or nothing was said. He tells me he loves me, and wants to be with me, and then disappears when we seem to be getting close. In my own words, this has been a roller coaster ride. Up and down, with his moods always dominating. I was more than surprised when I read your page for the first time and saw the buzz words: rollercoaster, highly sexed, masturbates a lot, moody, domineering, etc. It sounded like him to a T. He is a good lover, but I don't think he feels emotions. He also wants to have sex using me as something to be dominated. Never in a hurtful way though. He is quite gentle and considerate, but until I'd met him, I'd considered these acts degrading.
I was to visit him recently and had a plane ticket and we'd planned the places we wanted to visit, etc. Out of the clear blue, he sent me a message that he'd met someone else, and it wouldn't be right for me to stay with him. This was less than 12 hours after we'd chatted and he told me how excited he was to see me!
After only a few days, he's back saying he wants me to forgive him. (another phrase I read more than once on this page)He'd run into someone he went to school with blah, blah, blah. They started to spend time together as friends, and then they became intimate. He didn't mean it to happen, it just did.
Now he's telling me he wants to continue as we were before, he wants to come back here to tell me how sorry he is, and he wants to travel again together because 'there is something about me and he can't let go.'
From reading the posts here, I've realized a lot. I'm not sure of all your abreviations yet, but I'm sure he has emotionally blinded me and manipulates me in every way.MANIPULATES....now there is the perfect word. It is all about him, but with just enough care to make me think he is worth it. I feel helpless..indeed powerless to get away from him. I see now that has been all his doing, however he did it. I care very deeply for the good parts of him, but as I read this page, I realized that nothing is real....I think. I mean how am I to know? It's made me crazy, and now I'm thinking he has been making other women crazy all along. He alway said his ex was 'obsessed' with him and wouldn't leave him alone, and now he's saying another woman is hacking his email and that she is'obsessed' again, with the buzz word 'obsessed' On top of all this, I'm getting threatening messages on Facebook (we are no longer friends on FB)from people I don't know telling me my behavior won't be tolerated "on FB or in the real world" I'm now in the middle of something I know nothing about, with my name being dragged about by people I don't know. This all sounds like a no brainer, I know. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE the page said. All of you have had the same type of experience it seems, but had the strength to walk away.
He is trying to fix things between us again. He knows just which buttons to push too, to make me want him again. So just when is the last straw so to speak? I guess it must be close, as I've written this honestly,asking for help and strength.
Thanks, and blessings to all here.