Bullying at work

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#1 September 6, 2011 - 2:21pm
Susan32
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Bullying at work

I've been dealing with a female Narc at work. When I confronted her on it, she claimed that I had pushed her- I had barely touched her. She has made a point of degrading me. Once, when I was in the break room, she yelled at me in front of other employees. That's why I'm home early. I panicked, freaked out. I'm afraid of losing my job. The problem is that hardly anybody witnessed me "pushing" her. If I touched her, it was unintentional, and barely, at that. She's going around saying I shoved her ON PURPOSE. She's been known to yell at other workers.

I hope this gets resolved.

September 6, 2011 - 5:04pm
Susan32
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UPDATE

I still have my job. I will be going back to work tomorrow morning. She now wants to go to the HR resources line, DESPITE the fact that there was ZERO proof I did anything to her. What's weird is that she's like a former Narc coworker who claimed that she was assaulting HIM, he'd go to the manager, he'd call the 1-800 line, go higher up on the totem pole, and there was NO proof. The manager said he called 4 witnesses to the incident... and they saw NO physical contact. When the manager called this coworker&I to his office... this coworker got up&ran out when the conversation was no longer in her favor. She started ragging on ME, blaming ME for everything, and was SHOCKED when the manager said he had talked to 4 people-and there was NO proof that anything happened. She said "Are you calling me a liar?" His response was "These are serious allegations, you are telling stories." Yes, telling BIG lies about someone else does have consequences.
September 6, 2011 - 3:09pm
Used
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susan32

dontpanic for a start, this friggen bully,who shouts at other workers,will be known then for biegn a bully....i hate this kind of crap,i just hate....you didnt push her ,why would you?, and you shouldnt have left work susan,you should have gone to your boss and told them ,you have been falsly accused of assault...i know from your postings you are not this type of women....so calm and chill,go to work tomorrow, and go straight to your boss and tell them....dont panic about losing your job....you havent even explained your self yet......keep us posted...xx
September 6, 2011 - 3:21pm (Reply to #8)
Susan32
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Talked to supervisor&manager

The manager told me to leave work, I was so shaken up and panicky. They've been talking to witnesses. It was NOT my choice to leave. My supervisor called&there will be a meeting this afternoon. Hopefully this will resolve it. I've been ignoring this coworker lately. When she tried to tick me off yesterday... all I did was IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. This coworker once said her husband thinks she's crazy. Why am I not surprised?
September 6, 2011 - 4:14pm (Reply to #9)
Used
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susan32

haha, and why am not suprised.....good luck for tomorrow.. the ignore ignore ignore...pissed her off..oh dear who does that sound like?.lol
September 6, 2011 - 10:29pm (Reply to #10)
Susan32
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It was all a pack of lies...

Turns out there were 4 witnesses to the incident (I had assumed this coworker and I were alone in the kitchen, so it was a matter of interpretation) ALL FOUR WITNESSES said there was ZERO physical contact. When the manager said this to the coworker (my supervisor&I were there as well), she came up with an excuse to leave, claiming she had to pick up her daughter from school. She simply got up&left, while my boss&the manager said YES, I can go back to work tomorrow. As soon as this coworker got up&left, the manager sighed, "That's strange." He was kinda shocked by her response. It made her look not just bad, but WORSE. She said incredulously "Are you saying I'm a LIAR? That I'm telling stories?" The manager had to be diplomatic with that one. Being accused of assault is BAD. But making a false accusation is WORSE, I know that from experience. As bad as this coworker is, I don't lie about her. I don't need to. What's weird is that this coworker was falsely accused of assault on a FREQUENT basis by a violent Narc... and HE ended up getting fired. She's only made HERSELF look bad. Her credibility is now tainted.
September 6, 2011 - 2:54pm
LuckySpurs
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No bueno!

Aw, Susan32, that sounds terrible! Do you have an HR department at your work, by any chance? If so, report her behavior to them each and every time she does something degrading to you. You'll need the paper trail. If not, then keep a log yourself of her bullying behavior. That whole "no witnesses" thing usually works for both sides, but narcs are experts at "spinning" anything so as they look like the lil' innocent lamb being taken to slaughter. Keep protesting your innocence & if she brings it up, tell her she's being a "drama queen" and that you don't appreciate her "over the top" behavior, not to mention "unprofessional" behavior for daring to raise her voice at you. Strengthen your backbone! Narcs are terrified of backbones! lol, seriously, they are :)
September 6, 2011 - 3:19pm (Reply to #4)
Susan32
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I've told my boss

This coworker has a BAD reputation. The problem lies in the "no witnesses" and that ANY assault has to be reported right after it happens. There's a protocol. We have abuse reports. This coworker could've called my supervisor the day it happened (Saturday)... but she waited till this morning. The reporting delay-and the lack of witnesses-not a strong case. As for the time she screamed at me in front of other workers, well, one of them told the supervisor at the time. It's not like nobody noticed. Apparently she yelled at a patient's relative... and this patient is on hospice. All the relative wanted was 2 bowls of soup... and she got the screaming fit. I get along with this patient's relative. I get her the iced tea, the saltines. But once I walked by, and this patient's relative was yelling... but I don't know who.
September 6, 2011 - 3:25pm (Reply to #5)
LuckySpurs
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Yelling at a Hospice patient's relative?!?!

Ok, that just put the lid right on the jar! Susan32, if I knew this person you were speaking on, I'd have her head in a vice! Yelling at a relative of a dying person is beyond CRUEL and EVIL! I just lost my grandpa and if someone had had the stupidity to yell at me during that stage of his life, that person would never have been able to speak again! Hospice nurses are special and they should all have compassion and empathy. Those are 2 emotions that narcs do not possess.
September 6, 2011 - 3:35pm (Reply to #6)
Susan32
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She's yelled at patients too

I work in a nursing home. There was an elderly lady (she's still alive, she was on an oxygen tank for awhile) who'd repeatedly ask for coffee. She got yelled and snapped it. If we don't have a particular item (we ran out of yogurt, I had to tell that to a patient,a Jerry Garcia lookalike), it's up to us to provide alternatives&be calm about it. If a patient wants an umpteenth cup of java, give it to 'em. It's decaf. The last thing they'd want is to be yelled at.
September 6, 2011 - 2:49pm
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Stay far away from this

Stay far away from this woman!if you have something to say make sure you are in the company of another worker! I had this problem once the bitch tried to set me up, I learned when she lied to address the topic when my boss was present, That put a ral quick hault to the problem, they weren't schedules appointments! I would wait till we were all together then I drop the ball ! "what exactly did you mean when" haha Bitch didn't know what to say when caught of guard and in a lie! Now she picks on someone else but it's not me! HA! Just be sure you are never alone with this person ! Hunter
September 6, 2011 - 5:15pm (Reply to #2)
Susan32
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Caught in lies

I don't want to be alone with her. The manager called 4 witnesses... and they saw NO physical contact. It's kinda embarrassing to accuse someone of assault... only for 4 people to say it didn't happen. And that it wasn't reported the right way. If something happens on Saturday, report on Saturday... don't wait till Tuesday (even if there's a holiday weekend) Usually, a report is written up THE DAY IT HAPPENS. This coworker, when confronted by my supervisor&the manager, got up and RAN OUT. As the manager said "I don't know what her issue is." This coworker couldn't stand being confronted.