Have you heard of...

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#1 August 20, 2011 - 6:25pm
needing2know
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Have you heard of...

Has anyone here have a "SILENT NARCISSIST?" because that is what I'm dealing with, well I was, he threw me out like a bag of trash a month ago, he told me he had to flush 7yrs og his life down the toilet, whe I asked his why he said "because I have to"! I know there is no other woman, he is 51 yrs old and he has never chased woman , he has been married twice, our relationship was the longest one he has ever been in , his marrages only last 4 yrs.
What i would like to know is if anyone here gets the silents treatman as a form of punishment, if so how long did it last and if you were not together any more how long did it take him to contact you if he ever did? I actually thanked him for breaking up with me , the look on his face was PRICELESS!

August 20, 2011 - 7:12pm
needing2know
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Have you heard of...

Well my story is this, I have been dating him or 7yrs, the first 4 were pretty good, between us there are 9 kids, he has 5, my kids are 10,12,19,22. his are 9,14,16,24,26. Our kids get along great. Anyway i noticed his demeanor changing about 2 years ago, just the mental abuse , making me feel like I was losing my mind, nothing I did was ever good enough, he told me he could make me do whatever he wanted, he use to send me flowers, take me out to dinner, all that stopped within 4yrs. He showed up at my house 4 weeks ago and I could tell he was mad about something when he waled in the door, so I kept my mouth shut. He always stays the night the week he doesn't have his kids, he runs his tattoo shop about 20 min form my house, so he just stayed here, anyway we ended up going to bed, he ignored me for about the first 20min, then he rolls over tries to have sex, i told him to leave me alone, he rolls over, say OH OK, gets up gets dressed and went to leave, I asked him what he was doing he said he don't want this shit and he don't need this shit, for the first time in our relationship he called me a B..ch! So when he was leaving I asked him if he wanted his things, he yelled at me (he never did that before either)and said I DON"T NEED STUFF! So he left. I didn't hear from him for a week now mind you he has thrown me out like trash before and thought nothing of it, so after a week of hearing nothing from him I sent him an e-mail asking him if he wanted his stuff, if I didn't hear from him I would take that as NO, he emailed me back and said yes so that night he came to get his stuff, that's when he told me he had to flush 7yrs of his life down the toilet, he couldn't tell me why, but even in the past never had a valid reason for breaking up. He tried to hug me when he approached me he stuck his chest out reached out his arms and hugged me and said sorry, I looked at him and told him don't apologize for something he wanted to do. when he was hugging me he told me WE"LL TALK I shook my head no and he said WE"LL TALK, he has always played the silent treatment on me, he has told me he can make me do whatever he wants, I don't think I will hear from him again , in the past I'm the one who always made contact after a couple of weeks, doing the I'm sorry and all that crap, but I won't do it this time ,he had never made the attempt to contact me after he gets rid of me, I know there is no other woman, he had his kids to control and he gets his ATTENTION at his tattoo shop. He has issues in the bedroom when it comes to performing so he has never gone after woman like most guys do, he gets his fix from other things. I just want to know what the chances are that he will contact me, I need to mentall prepare, I have done lots of reading on Narc, and Silent Narcissists , I juat wonder if he will re surface.
August 20, 2011 - 6:37pm
Sparrow
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needing to know

I am so sorry that you have to experience this. It is a terrible thing to go through. Welcome to the forum, glad you found us here. Have you posted your story yet? Give us a little bit more history of what you are dealing with. If he is a narc, you can be guaranteed there is another woman or someone who is supplying him right now. please read as much as you can on this disorder, it will open your eyes and make a lot of sense eventually. The silent treatment can last some time. In my experience, he couldn't go more then a few weeks but boy oh boy, when he was silent, he was SILENT. Who do they think they are that they feel they can punish us like that? Oh wait, the are the greatest men in the world, I almost forgot. LOL Seven years with him right? Be glad it wasn't longer. Have you sought out a therapist yet? It is very important to do so. Stay close to the forum as much as possible, read, read, read.........knowledge is power. And NO CONTACT what so ever is the best route to take. Again, I am so sorry. This is a very difficult time for you. You came to the right place! Big hugs
August 20, 2011 - 7:16pm (Reply to #2)
needing2know
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I told my story but

I told my story but accidently hit REPLY on my own post lol please go there and read if you would, any insite would be good and anything about them showing up and time froames if anyone has them, thank you , this place is going to help me alot!