His Quasi is being treated better than i was,is that normal?

You are reacting in a very normal way. HE IS NOT really treating her any better and SHE WILL experience the same rage and abuse you did. It is all about how useful she is to him as to for how long this facade will continue. Behind closed doors it may already be something else entirely that you don't see. I know with my ex, we were together 2 years and I never let anyone except my 3 closest girlfriends know anything about what was really going on (and even they have not heard everything still to this day). On the outside, it always seems like they've changed for the better when they 'move on', but it is an illusion. They have reinvented themselves for now is all. The mask will drop at some point - it has no choice, because there will be issues come up with intimacy - they always do with a narc. Try not to compare yourself to the OW - that is just crazy making thinking and pointless. Neither you, nor her, are any 'better' at bringing out the 'good guy'. It is all about HIM and what HE gets from her that makes it look that way. He will take what he can use and the D&D will still come when he gets bored - and in true narc style he will, cause without a deepness of emotional capacity, they always do. Good on you for standing up for yourself, not putting up with his shit. Just because she has done that less at this point (regardless of knowing him for longer), doing that will not make her have a happier life with him as his abuse escalates. It is one big illusion! Stay strong! It may not feel worth celebrating yet in the midst of the heartache you are experiencing, but you are FREE!!! One day you WILL want to celebrate the fact he is gone - trust me, I never thought I would feel that way and I can honestly say I'm finally starting to :)

Juan Peron and Ferdinand Marcos were rare dictators who took beauty queens as wives. But, as this Gawker post notes, MOST dictators' wives/mistresses are... homely. It gives a sense of superiority&power. It's the "I'm the only man who will take her" sort of thing. Leo Tolstoy called his future wife Sofia Behrs "plain and vulgar" and had a thing about plain women being virtuous. "Powerful" men can't stand women who are too "beautiful." http://gawker.com/5780612/national-review-why-didnt-hitler-and-qaddafi-bag-hotter-chicks When I was replaced, the ex-Psych prof's girlfriend was mocked as a dyke, how ugly&plain she was. She got tainted by association... and unlike me, she moved in with him, all the way from LA.

Liars,Users and Losers. He is using her, Its not what she looks like, its what she has to offer. She will get the same treatment in time. Idealize, devalue, discard. Hunter

The ex-Psych prof's favorite book/obsession is "War and Peace"--and Natasha's transformation (once she is married to Pierre) is that she no longer sings, she goes from being beautiful to being plain, and to use Leo Tolstoy's words, "she put herself in the position of slave." She lets herself go when it comes to her appearance. The ex-P thought he could be a Pygmalion making me from beautiful (and therefore evil) to plain. In Tolstoy's works, plain women like Princess Maria&Natasha (after she marries) are the Madonnas&good, while beautiful women like Helene Kuragin are evil. The ex-P would quote Tolstoy about men being handsome, good women being plain&evil women being beautiful. I was in the LAST category. He wanted a plain woman so he could look handsome (and he preferred men, ogled them in my presence) Not all Narcs seek beautiful arm candy (Ferdinand Marcos&Juan Peron went for beauty queens when they chose Imelda&Evita) The ex-P wanted a woman who wasn't even interested in men. He was DISAPPOINTED when I said I wasn't a lesbian. A heterosexual Narc is afraid of other men going after his woman... because he sees himself competing with other men. The ex-P, on the other hand, saw me as an extension of himself... and when I was dating, I think he was jealous that he didn't have a pick of men like I did. He wished he was the one dating handsome young men.

Let yourself feel these feelings. Trust me...these feelings will pass. But, we can't rush the 'grieving' process. Grief and mourning takes time. This is a loss. Doesn't matter that we 'lost' an asshole...a loss is a loss is a loss. I wouldn't worry to much about the new woman. Nor worry about his happiness. Concentrate on your recovery, but let yourself feel this pain right now. Putting it on a shelf...it doesn't work. I don't have facebook, I'm assuming you're seeing these pics on fb? I would encourage you to try your best to stop lurking there. I stopped going on a website that he and I joined last year. Frankly, his games on there, and there were many that varied ...became boring. But, the more you look at the pics...your mind paints a picture that you don't need to dwell on. It's human to WANT to lurk. But, it'll help you heal and find peace, if you don't look. In the meantime, post here lots when you're down. We will try our best to help you through. I'm so sorry you have had to deal with this...it does suck, but when you go through the healing process...you will be stronger than before. It's strange, but true. Prayers for you.

You are only seeing pictures sweets. Pics mean nothing. The honeymoon stage may last longer with her. Depends on what his needs are and what she has to offer. People are only mirrors and tools for them to achieve what they want. Its about what they want 24/7. In the honey moon stage they get plenty of positive feedback in the mirror but the first time you have a need forget it. Let the devaluation begin.

I just went through this very thing this week. The exN I was with has a girlfriend that he's been stringing along for 12 years. This week someone brought N up and said to me, "Well, he treats "M" okay...." Inferring that it must have been me! UGGGH!!!! After getting over the urge to punch the guys lights out, and going through all of the "I-wasn't-good-enough-to-be-treated-well feelings" I came up with some reasonable possibilities why they treat "quisimotos" better than us: 1. They are doormats and don't challenge the N. (In my case she's a filipino nurse, from the islands who was raised to be subservient to white males) 2. They are less attractive so the N feels more emotionally secure so the N's fear of abandoment isn't triggered as much. 3. They see the Quisi as a mother or sister, which means they don't evoke the same kind of passionate extreme feelings (good and bad) that we do. He may act "nicer" to Quasi, but that's relative to what you think "nice" is. He may not be raging as much but I bet you a million bucks he's going to lie and cheat on her as many time as she'll keeping taking him back. So they are really treating THEM worse. :)

That's all it is. Think of it as a Potemkin Village. On the outside, it looks great- but the hovels&the slums are behind it. He's trying to make you jealous. It's triangulation. The ex-Psych prof smeared me to my classmates&his colleagues;he badmouthed his students to me;what would make me think he'll treat his wife&children any better? I was just the ex-P's student, not his girlfriend, and believe me, I saw his HORRIBLE side. It wasn't till the final D&D I *NOTICED* I wasn't the only person he treated shabbily. It was an eye-opener. He had a circle of male disciples;one of them he advised on his senior thesis. He didn't give eye contact to this advisee. (He wasn't giving me eye contact either) When I met the ex-P's girlfriend&had a nice conversation with her... he pulled the Disappearing Act on her. In front of his colleagues. He physically abandoned her. She had to go running after him. He'd refer to her by her last name, as if she were a business associate/student, rather than his girlfriend. It was so cold&professional the way he spoke of her (she had introduced herself to me by her first name) When I spoke well of her, he was more than kinda shocked. He had flaunted his girlfriend to hurt my feelings... but it backfired that the shockwaves can be felt to this day. Like the aftershocks of the Japanese tsunami that are ongoing. He wasn't physically affectionate with her, didn't hold hands, didn't kiss. He didn't want me to talk about her. I had declared my love to him (before the final D&D and finding out he had a girlfriend)... and to me it MATTERED. He wanted to act as if his girlfriend (now his wife of a decade) didn't exist.