DId you ex admit to you he has a problem?

Mine admitted he was a narcissist and working on himself, going through a crazy sex phase.. but wants to marry me in 2-4 years cause we have chemistry and connection that he doesn't have with anyone else...can relate to bakingfortherapy, those were words for, I want to sleep around with anyone/everyone..without any questions asked and oh, I really like you so I hope you will be waiting for me once I get this out of my system! WTF??? Yeah I'm waiting for him..NOT. I told him he isn't going to wake up one day and decide he is done being a sex freak and he disagreed. That hoover didn't work but 2 months later, next hoover attempt sucked me back in.......but thats around the time when I was reading and researching narcissism and figured out he had NPD. I'm NC since April, staying strong!

This is just like mine! He would steal and make stupid stories up about it I knew he was lying and he would always tell me if I treat you so badly then why don't you just leave? You know that feels real good coming from a man you are looking to show some remorse for what he was doing. He did at times though tell me that he doesn't feel things the way normal people feel them. He also warned me very early on he would ruin my life when he broke up with me the first time. Gee I sure wish I would have realized how true that was because he never left me completely alone until he had completely ruined my life then he decided to leave me pregnant with my second child with my first child being only 3 months old.

yes, same story here. but nowadays ( after being here on Lisa's forum)...I no longer feel sympathy...I feel raw terror.

HIM the problem, what a joke, it was all the 5 women that he had relationships, they were the problem, he was perfect, in his dreams, nutso

On at least 3 separate occasions she admitted she was an N and once told me she was an ahole The first 2 times she casually claimed "I am an narcissist" I didn't fully understand the meaning of the word...

Yes in the begining he told me he didnt feel able to receive the love of a woman and didnt really believe in love. Of course me being an empath that just made me try harder to show him what love is. I bent over backwards to show him love,, and he had the perfect trap which used for the next 8 years! He also said he was a beast, I did not know such monsters exsisted and took it as a joke. I still have a hard time believing such evil lowlife is all around us.. Even if he had flat out told me im a narcisissit. I didnt know what that was, and how it manifests, so I doubt it would have made much difference being ignorant of the evil. Im not blind to this any longer, I can now smell a Narc coming from 10 miles away

My ex narc never once admitted to having any type of probolem, it was always me and my stuff. :(

Sometimes he has said he is a sociopath, and doesn't feel much for people around him. He said me and his best friend were the only people that got to him. He always said he had a lot of baggage and I remember at the beginning he said something like "you must be a bit self destructive because I'm no good" and lately he needs to "get better, get his shit together" I still love him despite it all...

Mine admitted he "wasnt good at being faithful" and want to "figure himself out" so he "wouldnt do (the cheating/lying/love triangle) it again" But he keep boasting this "figuring things out" BS this year so he could sound like he was TRYING to be a better person. He would always say "Im really, really, trying to figure it out" And he would sound whiny-like a little boy- NOT like a 48 year old man! I learned the "figuring it out" was just code for "I want to act like a good guy who is learning and growing so I will tell people this BS, that they want to hear, but REALLY I will be trying to get OW back and sleep with her and use Old girl ( ME!)for supply, kindness, and attention, ( and try to sleep with her too) and maybe even try to hook up with a 3rd girl, and NOT OWE anybody anything-because I will have NO COMMITMENTS or obligation to anyone so I can do whatever I want..... What a great way to string people along....Why didnt i figure this out sooner!!!"" He admitted he had a problem only when it made him seem deeper than the shallow ass bastard he is!!

I wonder what it is with them and writing their long ass emails full of poor me and I am the victim and if only you understood me?! Please... they like hiding behind their words and after a while I just stopped reading his emails even when we still co existed in the same space. Him on the sofa and me in my bed the way God intended it. I should've paid more attention too but then again I think after being involved with a narc for long enough you know that they are fcuked up but you stay for the kids or for love, love that they keep dangling in front of you like a carrot. Sick sick sick bastards! They like to project their crap onto you mine would carry on, when in one of his rages, for hours about how I use people how I lie to them how I am just like my mother how I don't love him coz I won't have sex with him (he didn't want to touch me let alone have sex with me!) I think the one message for everyone no matter what website or what psychologist you see is RUN RUN LIKE HELL!

xoxoxo

knows he's an ass And he's proud of it.

Mine admitted it by telling me straight out he was diagnosed as a narcissist by his court appointed psychiatrist. I didn't believe it at the time...What a blind little fool I was.

And for a few moments, they are admitting their flaws...but those moments don't last long and they don't really make any real connection to what they're saying... Their disorder outweighs any ability to reach them...they're trapped within themselves. The only thing to do is detach...this affliction certainly does pull on the pity strings; however, a very wise woman said it well: "It's like dealing with a trapped raccoon, you feel pity for it as a creature of God, but you don't put your hand anywhere near the cage." Hugs!

Would he admit any wrongdoing, even if it was obvious. If I caught him stealing something of mine, he had an excuse. Never apologized. If he was an hour and a half late, nonapologies. I could argue my point for a solid hour and he refused to admit wrongdoing. It was like arguing with a brick wall. Then one time I mentioned how much it bothered me that he never allowed me to get my way when it came to restaurants, movie choices, he stole stuff, he was never on time for our dates, he tried to restrain me physically several times, etc. All he said was, "I wonder why you just don't leave me, then?" That made me even madder. I was aiming to get an acknowledgment that he was wrong. I was hoping to see some remorse from him. I was hoping for an apology or some attempt from him to do better. No, all I got was an indictment of my character from him. A commentary on how weak I was for not leaving. Ugh.

In retrospect, they were right! Of course, he's just a poor misunderstood soul ;-)

because when i first went with him, he went on and on about how his third wife was this and that, played mind games,kept him from seeing his kids, not true she told me later, whatever and in the end it was all about him, more projection on his part and then HE turned on me, after the 15 years...............

In a word, yes.

yeah by telling me even 17+ years later that I am the one at fault, when he is suppose to be "happily" married. Its reverse psychology, but no they never admit or say "I was wrong", or "I have a problem", you are their mirror so if something is wrong with them, they deflect and reflect back onto YOU. That's why anytime they start the blame game, they are really talking about themselves.

No, he presented his issues to me as charming character quirks that made him unique and loveable. I remember the big fuss he made about how I had to "figure him out" when we first met. What it came down to was that he was a "conundrum" and special as a result. I took this to mean he was "complex" and had unusual preferences, and was an interesting person. It never occurred to me that the reality was his preferences would change like the wind because they were as disordered as he was, and that his "complexity" was in reality an unsolvable puzzle designed to suck you in and consume you. It was, looking back, the first evidence I had that he was seriously broken inside his head, but I didn't realise at the time.

I've read down this thread, it's all out of a narc hand book! Hunter

The only thing he ever said that came close was in the early days when he was crapping on about how great he was etc and I called him an egotistical wanka. He told me that he has to talk himself up because he feels so bad about himself 99% of the time and it made him feel better. Wonder if that was true.

They say things to have a way out later... Let little truths of themselves drip out that they will cover up if you ask about it or start to take action on... but later they can claim they never lied! For example "I don't do relationships..." "Oh? you don't? so i should stop seeing you and go date other guys..." "oh no no no , i want a relationship! what are you talking about? I want to fall in love and get married and you are just the girl for me! I adore you and I am so happy to be building a relationship with you blah blah blah i love you blah blah blah when we get married this and that blah blah blah i'm not seeing anyone else cuz i only want a relationship with you blah blah blah" Then later when it all goes to hell, he can say,"I always said i don't do relationships," and just forget the fact that he also told you the exact opposite. And when you have gone insane trying to figure out all his contradictions and mixed signals, he will say it is YOU who is psycho and messed up and sending HIM mixed signals and playing with HIs mind. "I put up with your crazy moods..." haha, but he is the one that made you crazy and had the crazy behavior. But he will never own up to that nor remember any of it. Mine once said in one of his very long-winded emails that he loved to write (that i wish I payed closer attention to), "I love to play the victim..." he pulled the victim card out a lot! Always,"be nice to me... I'm a poor baby victim of this and that..." They know we want to love and nurture a relationship, so they can tap into that in us. they know we might wipe the slate clean and forgive his bad behavior if he has a good poor-baby-victim excuse to throw out there, even when the behavior has nothing to do with his victim stunt. And do they do anything about these issues they have? no. Mine said he hopes I stay single while he gets his crap together. I said, "and just what are you doing to get your crap together? nothing!" He laughed. Just laughed. I told him I think he is mean and he just wants to keep me around on his terms for his pleasing while he stays exactly the same and effs around. I told him i think it is sad that he claims to love me and i am the best thing that ever happened to him but he is willing to let me go to someone else. he said he has thought of that, but he knows that no one will ever love me the way he does. I said someone will love me better. The mind games just never end. that is why you have to spot it for what it is, deprogram the brainwashing and block him!