The fake persona

14 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 June 1, 2011 - 2:04pm
Scoop's picture

The fake persona

Psychopaths are a diffrent versions of themselves for every person they interact with . They also have "group personas" for family , organisational and workplace interactions .If unexpectedly approched, or taken by suprise due to an unforseen encounter/chance meeting / sudden waking the psychopath will oftern look at partners, friends , workmates and even their own family members as if they dont recognize them . Victums oftern report being "scanned" up and down by the confused psychopath for a brief monent before the psychopath recognizes the person they are looking at . The "scanning "action buys tine for the psycopath to alter their "persona approch " to custom tailor a new way to approch a situation where they suddenly feel "put on te spot". There is also a several second lag in time when the psychopath "persona switches"to access the correct version of themselves of which you have been subjected to , even if you happen to be the spouse they wake up to in the morning . Eyes frantically studying the persons face while they present a force smile is commonaly reported "
Thomas Sherridan

This rings so true for me , i saw my narc about six months ago and he did look away and wate a couple of seconds before he adressed me .. i thought he was gathering his "emotions together " but all he was going was remembering the "act" he had for me as it had been such a long time since that "act" had seen the light of day and even when he addressed me i didnt recognise him as the persona he use to be ... So freaky !

Scoop x

June 21, 2011 - 3:47am
Scoop's picture

Bumping this up for a second

Bumping this up for a second viewing . the more i think about this more times i can recall thoses damm red flags waving with this fake persona . My narc has completely forgotten the persona he woked with me , if on the odd ocassion i have had to talk to him since nc it is like im looking at a stranger ... the reason is when my relationship died the persona he used died with it .
June 2, 2011 - 8:23pm
Goldie's picture

Facinating Scoop

I have seen this and it is downright freaky and so accurate it's scary. When we were first together he was one persona and then when he got out of jail it was another one and at work he is someone else and now he stopped by to give me money and couple of times and he is someone entirely different and of course there is the little boy persona where he actually talks baby talk. I am beginning to suspect did (dissociative identity disorder) which would give him several disorders now. He is a psychopath/narc/pstd/addict/ no wonder he has had few relationships in his day. He has only lived with 2 women and he drove both of us nearly to the brink of insanity. Good thing I am a strong woman. He said tonight when he brought over the money, so, what are you doing tonight? Are you going to be on your site playing games? I said, what games, I don't play games on the internet. He said, you know talking about narcissists and sociopaths. I said, yes that's what I am doing tonight. He knows all about the site and he does not mind at all. He says he wants to meet the girls and I said no you don't, you could not take it, they would destroy you in 5 minutes and he said ya, you're probably right I would have to excuse myself and go out and get a beer, lol. Jeeze if it were me and a bunch of guys were airing our dirty laundry I would be pissed. I guess it just goes to show how self centered they can be, he's just glad that he's being talked about he doesn't mind if it is good or bad and he knows I don't lie so at least he knows what I am saying is true. Strange ducks huh? God bless, Goldie
June 2, 2011 - 6:27pm
heritage's picture


Well just read your post 4 times! I am freaking out! When I ran into him at the bank 2 months after discard he started scanning me up and down. It was bizarre. I had a sweater and leggings on and his eyes forcused where my sweater ended on my thighs. Really weird. When he finally sort of looked at me his eyes were squinty and he was not the man at all that I knew and just spent 5 years with. It has been 4 months and people that have seen him at the store siad he has a crazed look. It's the same look I noticed. when I ran into him I was my normal self. I wouldn't know how to be otherwise. But not for the N! Your post brought back a very good recollection and explains a lot to me and I am thankful for your insight!
June 2, 2011 - 5:45pm
onwithmylife's picture


Mine would all of a sudden turn into another person and tell me, when i stayed with him for 3 months, a few years ago, that"I think you should leave now" since i did not really have a place to go, I got in my car and drove to a phone and spent an hour talking to a girlfriend and then went back to his place and all was OK, it was so weird and one time I questioned him punishing his dog and he got this monster, ugly look on his face and said you can leave if you want to, I did with real disgust and anger on my face.Scary and spooky
June 2, 2011 - 4:31pm
Amazed's picture

Scoop you are amazing and right on this is very true!!!

Yes, yes, and yes. The psychopath appears "visually different", you can SEE it when they are 'morphing' themselves to fit the different personas. It is like when for a moment, you catch them off guard, and you look at them, their aura, their appearance changes, their demeanor, it is more than a demeanor, it is a total transformation. You feel a chill go through your body when this happens, and you feel you are not dealing with a good person. Wow, right on point Scoop. Amen, thank you for sharing such a great post and observation. : )
June 2, 2011 - 4:35pm (Reply to #9)
WiserNow30's picture

They will be whoever they need to be to get what they want.

It's sad but very true. My Ex N immediately latched on to all of my interests and my identity became his identity. I just saw a pic of him with a woman on FB. We have a few mutual friends that apparently I still need to de-friend :) I'll tell you how I feel. I'm literally praying for her at my desk as we speak. I have no idea who she is. I'm praying that God will spare her the pain and torment that I went through and that she won't have to see his craziness. I'm praying that God will give her wisdom and she'll see the red flags. I wouldn't wish him on my worst enemy.
June 2, 2011 - 4:13pm
janine's picture


Thanks for what you said. You may of course be right, he was certainly weird, but you know things like this kept happening all the time. Not just with me but others,too. That is why a while ago I had asked here, whether NPD can turn into actual madness. He truly seemed so utterly confused as though his brain was not working full time. Like when we went out he'd check half a dozen times if the oven was switched off. Having left he'd walk up the stairs to check again. Having closed the door he'd remember he had just left his mobile next to the oven. Unlocking the car he'd ask me had he closed the windows and so on. Or he'd keep taking wrong turns on the road having forgotten where we were headed for. Or he meant to call Mr.X and would call Mr.Y instead but give him the message meant for X. That sort of thing... I really think there was more wrong with him than the NPD/borderline/paranoia the therapist mentioned. He was mad as a hatter.
June 1, 2011 - 11:42pm
ValiditySeeker's picture

I remember

Surprising him in the laundry room at his apartment. He looked at me like I was a stranger and commented that he was almost done with the machine. I said, "Short Dick Man? It's me!" And he acted surprised and said he didn't recognize me. I thought it was weird, like his brain was off. Maybe some visual deficit? But this biding time to switch into the expected persona makes sense. Thanks for this.
June 2, 2011 - 4:00pm (Reply to #6)
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

That is very spooky! Truly

That is very spooky! Truly nutszoid really.
June 2, 2011 - 3:35pm (Reply to #4)
janine's picture


Do their brains switch off or what? Mine had always been extremely forgetful, then this happened: I'd spent the night at his place, not unusual, did that 2-3 times a week. He had to get up early, went to the bathroom, kitchen, returned after 20 minutes making a hell of a noise getting dressed, turned around to open the curtains, saw me in bed (that he had just left), stood still and said to me in total shock as though he'd not seen me for ages "Oooh, Janine. So you're here as well." As if I had just come in! He'd spent eight hours lying next to me!
June 2, 2011 - 3:58pm (Reply to #5)
Scoop's picture


Thats sounds like a stupid gaslighting game .. Unless he was mentally retarded no man now ever narcissist they where could pretend that they didnt even remember going to bed with someone . It sounds to me that he was seriously trying to make you loose youre contact with reality . Such a terrible thing to happen to you and you are right to be confused ... They play games like you could never imagin just to put you on the back foot . I dont think that he didnt know you where there , i dont think he was doing the "quick scan" that this artical is about , to me it sounds like a way of belittleing you to such an exsent that he got the desired affect and it still baffles you even now .Please keep reading .. big hugs and love and im so sorry this monster put you through this bollocks .. Scoop x
June 1, 2011 - 4:12pm
Susan32's picture

The fake persona&improvisation

THAT is the MAJOR difference between the Narc and the Psychopath. My Narc grandmother sees herself as an actress, it's part of her persona... but she was simply self-absorbed. She had been an actress back in the day. She doesn't go to the trouble of concocting various personas. My former Narc boss was similar. He saw himself as a talented pastry chef (he was) But he was simply self-absorbed. Now the ex-Psych prof told me, after the final D&D, "You don't appreciate my masks!" He'd talk about how being a teacher was a ROLE. (Please watch the opening monologue of "A Single Man" in which Colin Firth's character describes himself as a role-and *BONUS* Colin is a hottie) He saw everything as role-playing. I think at one time he had been into Saul Alinsky, whose community organizing training consists of telling people that while their public personas are tough&ruthless, their private personas are kind&giving. The ex-P described his engagement as "private" (yeah, like I'd believe him after he flaunted his girlfriend) The final D&D was him telling me what role I was supposed to play. When I congratulated him on being engaged, he said, "YOU want to be the teacher!" Bizarre response. What normal person says that? Please. The ex-P had his vegetarian health nut persona... and if you ever read Cora Diamond's "Eating Animals, Eating People",he plagiarized her arguments. He had his philosopher persona (that both the OW&I swooned over) I think he was afraid that once I graduated, he'd have to improvise. My sister has been an actress, and she says that improvisation is the most challenging because you don't have a script. The ex-P liked having scripts. Now that I'm no longer his student... he'd have to be as good at improv as Wayne Brady on "Whose line is it anyway?"
June 1, 2011 - 4:07pm
snarky174's picture

Thank you!!!

This is quite scary but I can relate - I watched mine in court literally mirror the psychologists trial testimony... ie picked up mannorisms and everything - have any of you seen this? IE where a person can mirror someone so well!