Veedoll's Story

My story begins 4 years ago. I met my (not sure if he is Narc but he seems to have tendencies)... online. When I had my first date with him within a month he asked me to move in with him.. take the key... We saw each other quite a bit in the beginning and I did enjoy our time together I wante dto get to know him better. I did not take the key. I did not move him. He told me a sad story about his last relationship.. and I fell for it.
I noticed that he did not have a lot of facial expressions... didn't laugh much... didn't express a lot of emotion. The first time he told me that he loved me it seemed like it hurt his feelings to say it. He was not much in the romance department. One morning I said to him that I needed him to be more affectionate and he told me it was not happening.... he was not going to change because if you change for a woman they will just want you to change something else. I cried because I could not believe he had responded to me in this way. That was the first time he just completely disappeared.. I believe it was about 5 months into the relationship. I was completedly devastated and kept trying to contact him. We did eventually start seeing each other again when he called me but we did not consider ourselves in an exclusive relationship.
he once called me at asked me out did not show or call and then did not call me again for 6 months. When we began seeing each other again, I asked him if he had gotted back with his ex-girlfriend after seeing them in a couple looking photo together and he said no. Well from August 2008 to July 2009, I thought we were in a relationship. He had lost his job. One Friday morning, we got up walked out to my car with me and I had every reason to think we could see each other that evening. I did not hear from him for a week. At this point, he was looking for a job in our state and out of state his home town of Virginia. I started looking on the internet typing in his much used userid and his name and found a wedding registry for him and his ex-girlfriend that was for June 2008 (at that time we were not together. He had also been going online on my computer which he used to look for a job and was looking at some pretty hard porn. I was hurt and furious. Our next visit together was not pretty I was so angry I could have killed him. This is now July 2009. He never apologized for nothing. After this confrontation of the "engagement" and pornography.. He did not speak to me until December 2009. He called and said he had made a mistake and that he wanted to work things out with me. I fell for it. He now lives out of state 4 hours away. We have been seeing each other every month since December 2009 at least once and month and talking to each other on the phone 2-3 times a day. We were planning on me moving to Virginia. I was assisting in decorating the house in Virginia...

Just a month ago in April.. I started feeling like there was something wrong that he was going to disappear again, and lo and behold he did. He had confided in me that he felt overwhelmed... that his job was talking about layoffs, his son was having behavior problems, the house needed electircal work, and he thought he would have me in Virginia by now. We did not have any argument. I called him on april 28th and he went on and on and on about stuff at work, etc etc. I told him I had a dream that I cheated on him.
After that, He has reduced his calls and doesn't even text me. When I asked him about this he said nothing has changed between us.. (???) Now, this man is also a magnificent liar. When we first met, I asked all the usual questions have you ever been married.. he said no never and had never lived with a woman. Later I found out he had been married before and had been divorced for almost 20 years.. (why lie). He lied and told me that his daughter had a new car which was why he was driving an old car. Later found out his daughter doesn't even drive... He recently let me know that when he first started dating his ex-girlfriend he told her that he did not have any children at all. She later became pregnant with their now 7 year old son and she thought it was his first child.
At any rate, I began to realize that there is something wrong and let him know I thought something was wrong. I am still wavering between I did something wrong and there is something wrong with him. i found this website. I am not sure if he is narcisstic or schzoid. But something is wrong. He never says he is sorry. He can go on and on and on about himself. He does seem to be pretty self centered. He does not express emotions much at all. He does not rage. He does not communicate his feelings well. He does not seem to be able to relate how others feel. he is a aloner. He just doesn't seem normal... whatever normal is. I want to become NC.. I am tired of this merry go round. Unfortunately, part of me loves him. I really need support. I hope this makes sense what I have written. We are in our late 50s. I should add that each time he has disappeared I have made a comment or criticism about him. Like I said not sure if he is narc but he does seem to have some of the characteristics.