I just saw narcette.....help :(

KG, This is your journey. We can not judge or give you a time frame when your heart will heal and when you will no longer feel affected by this. It doesn't work that way. You fell in love and you will have to fall out of love. I was in a place of intense pain and I wanted to fast forward to the end too. I just wanted out. I didn't want to deal with this. I had to have a surgical biopsy the week after he dissapeared. Going under anthesia my last thought was that I wished I would die during surgery because the pain was so awful to wake up to. He never called. He knew I was going through a cancer biopsy. He never called. I didn't think I would survive such pain. So just know that others have been where you are right now, and wished it would be done and over with , but we all have to go through it. I suggest that you write a letter to her and post it here and get out the things you are holding on to,the hopes and dissapoint that you feel in order to let it go and move into acceptance. all the best

So sorry you were triggered today! You are not crazy. Do not doubt that. We all go through this - questioning if it was us, not them etc. Here's the thing though - the fact that she is so UNPHASED by any of this proves she is NOT normal. Normal people have feelings, she clearly does not. Other things that you have shared ie) how she was so unconcerned when you had an anaphylaxis reaction to a food allergy, also prove that she is NOT normal. You were just triggered today, by seeing her. Hence the shakes etc. It's PTSD and there is NOTHING wrong with you. This will pass so hang in there! xoxo

KG, There is a side to this experience that you question 'Am I the crazy one?' - No you are not. KG, these people are not in touch with their emotions remember? they treat others as objects. What we feel is "I am not okay right now, how can you be so carefree and comfortable?!" We experience the heartbreak and yet it's just another Wednesday to them. We don't feel comfortable in our own skin at these times, yet they are at ease at all times. And we seem to have no affect on them but they affect us greatly! I feel for you. I would have such a hard time to actually have to see the EXN (makes me shudder). You were in love with her and she seemingly is unaffected by your absense. It hurts. Time will heal KG. Role with those punches and hang in there.

YOU, KG, are NOT the crazy one. And Hunter is right....all those feeling are anxiety. I used to drive-by-stalk my N and every single time, I was shaky, lightheaded and sick to my stomach. It's important when you're like that to remember to breathe correctly, from the diaphragm. When my therapist pointed that out to me, I realized that every time I drove by, my breathing got shallow. Why do you think you don't look or act normal? If you look tired and drawn, if you've lost or gained weight, it's all part of the grief process. When people are hurting emotionally, it shows physically. How close does she live to you? I don't know if I could handle living very close to mine. He lives 20 minutes away so I don't have to worry about seeing him at the market or anything. I wish I had better advice on how to handle that. xoxo Veronrose

MY NARC IS NOT LONGER MINE, DON'T WANT, NEED HIM, DESIRE HIM.

Babe you are doing great..... What happened? You saw her, you survived... It was a really tough thing to go through and it will be good preparation for the concert thing you have to go to... You can work on that. You will be fine honey.... It's all an act you know... Lots of love to you Dx

It must be Narc day! I saw mine too... I was hot, clammy, shaky and very angry... This might make your day! For the last three weeks, I have envisioned what I would do if I ran into my N. Well today I was pulling out of my street and there he was at the gas station. He stared at me the whole time. When I got beside him I flew my birdie.. It made me feel so much better. What I really wanted to do was throttle him. lol.. Believe me your not the crazy one. They have just turned it around on us so much that we believe it. Hang in there and try and stay strong.

Oh Geeze, yeah, you're the crazy one! RIGHT! I hate that hot flash feeling, it's anxiety, at least we'll know what to expect when we hit menopause ! Seeing her should make you realize the true phony ,nut case, she is! No empathy, just keep going, be strong and next time, hit the gas straight for her! ( just kidding) next time prepare yourself! Hunter