HAS HE GONE FOR GOOD ?

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#1 Apr 13 - 2AM
candy
candy's picture

HAS HE GONE FOR GOOD ?

I think this time my narc has gone for good, (just over 6 weeks) he has never been silent for this long ! but i also feel it has ended... unless its just that im so clued up now that i have been on this site,and know his every sick trick,maybe he realises i know what he is...Has anyone had that feeling ? .... hes sooooo quiet,i think ive finally got rid of him.

CANDY XX

Apr 14 - 5AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Its a strange thing but the

Its a strange thing but the narc dosent really have a very good sence of time . Its something to do i think with how a normal person views time and it tends to have an emotional content to it ie "last week i felt really happy when i went to that party". or "this time last year i was really sad when my cat died" but if you dont have an emotional life like the narc time dosnt have the same relevence .Also a narc dosnt change with time there is no growth there, you will find that a narc will see you 2 years after not seing you but will start the same conversation with you as if it was yesterday ... its really weird ! So although 6 weeks mean along period of time for you .. a normal person ... to a narc it just dosnt mean the same .. They do come back most of the time but it could be next week or in 20 years time ... xx
Apr 13 - 9PM
my only drama w...
my only drama was him's picture

Who Knows for sure

The only thing I can say is that you should base it on what you know of his other past relationships My Ex hasn't left me alone for more than a couple days for over 6 months!! I finally got the courage last week Before I found this site to Block him. I did & he went bolistic!! He left me such a Nasty VMcalling from his home phone number....& I haven't heard from him since. I guess the fact I took control really Pissed him off to no end...I am not sure But he will be back....he will need me to give him his supple sooner or later....He will try again The torture I have been through the tears & pain of his relentless verbal abuse still after we ended....& now I am Sad & Scared that I will Never hear from him again. OMG....Why does my mind Not let go.... I know that it is an addiction to him.... I know that I am so much better without him But Gosh he has never given me closure & now Poof he's just Gone....its unreal it goes from relentless communication to NOTHING overnight
Apr 13 - 8AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Candy

ALWAYS be prepared for a hoover. They are about control and they have this uncanny ability to "pop up" at their "leisure" I have to run now...but I'll be back. Hugs!
Apr 13 - 8AM
ifinallygotit
ifinallygotit's picture

gone for good?

This is really painful but mine seems gone for good after 12 year friends and 10 years of lovers (last 8 going together). There were two silent treatments before he left )one for about six weeks out of the blue and one for a month after a fight). This time he moved to another city, said he did not want to break up (we were getting along great before he left) and then about 6 weeks after the move he went silent. Turns out he got a new GF. His ego is huge and I believe he is reallly gone bow that he is getting plenty of attention. I think it depends on the N whether or not they leave for good. Mine appears to not need me anymore (new flashy GF, money in pocket, lots of public attention for old accomplishments in new city - why return to me? old long distance relationship that reminds him of his failures? since there is no loyalty or true love, I do not see any motivation for him to come back). Mine has a history of permanently abandoning women. I think most do return though - most do lose their new GFs, are still in the same city and eventually want to tap old resources of supply. Only if new supply satisfies all needs will they be gone for good. This is so hurtful. I don't want mine back but I don't want to be abandoned with no discussion after 10 years either...it all sucks.
Apr 13 - 4AM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Candy I think if you are

Candy I think if you are being honest with yourself you may be looking for some validation that he will be back. I sense that you are craving him and everyone one goes thru that. I am still going thru that from time to time. Start investigating what inside of you is causing you to crave someone you know is harmful to you. I promise that's where the answer to unwinding from this mess lies
Apr 13 - 7AM (Reply to #4)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I'd have to agree with sick

I'd have to agree with sick of it, here... Candy. Last year I was involved with a different narc. Ugh. That sounds so bad. Anyways...one day, I just stopped thinking about him. I didn't even think about him coming back or not. That is when I realized...I was over him, and in full recovery. (over him at least) I must have loved the narc experience so much, I felt I needed to do it again this year! *eye roll* That said...it's ok to want that validation. But, we have to admit where it comes from. There will come a day, in the midst of your healing and just living life...that you will no longer think about this man. And it won't matter when he comes back, or if he will. I am yearning for that day, yet again...from starting the process over after a recent breakup. Good luck to you...and be gentle with yourself. {{hugs}}
Apr 13 - 3AM
dudette
dudette's picture

you just never know

particularly with the cowardly type...LOL Mine still tries to abuse me by proxy but has not made contact since october. Because I have formally forbidden him to.... and some come back but after many many years.... He might be done for now. he might be stalking you, he might have new supply..... However, evidence demonstrate that they are never really done completely done with us... Oh the joy!!!! Hugs to you XXX
Apr 13 - 8AM (Reply to #2)
JLMNY1
JLMNY1's picture

Not mine

Some Narcs may come back, but I know for a fact mine will never do it. First, I moved away from him when we broke up. But we're from the same hometown, and all his family lives here around me, so I know he'll be here sometime. But I know he is done with me. He's said it before in other situations and I know it's true- he doesn't chase anyone. He will never look like the weaker person to chase. His exwife almost left him once when they were married and he begged for her not to leave him. That's the only time he's begged anyone to stay. He has always been the one to leave- he eventually left his wife and child for me. Then he D&D'd me not a year later. He's on to the next supply. My exN has contacted me once by email to see if I was "doing ok." and then once by phone to demand I pay for a bill (which I didn't). I haven't heard from him since that happened 2 weeks ago. I know he's gone for good. I will be surprised if I receive any kind of contact from him ever again.