I'm ready to go NC--please help me through this :=(

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#1 Apr 11 - 7PM
Deidre40
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I'm ready to go NC--please help me through this :=(

Ok. I've posted a series of threads. We broke up Friday. Got back together Sunday (yesterday). Had another argument tonight. Here's the details.

He changed his status on FB to 'single.' He kept toying with me about keeping it that way. I said...go ahead...but, then I'm single too. ;) He didn't like that. Of course!

Well, we belong to another website together. He doesn't post there much, because he's pissed sooo many people off with his obnoxious, rude behavior. Anyways. I haven't posted on their much, and took my profile down. Today, I reactivated it. I told him this...and he blows up! He says...''you know what Dee? You're a LIAR. You lie. You say...I'm done with the forums. Then, I looked today, and you posted. So, guess what? You reap what you sow. If you can play with your profile, I just might leave my status as single on FB.''

I said ''you're equating the two? Why do you want everyone to 'think' you're single?'' He said...''if you can change your mind, so can I.''

Ok. To me? This is the final straw. I won't tolerate someone who wants to attract other women...on FB...and also wants to date me. And if that's not his game...I won't tolerate a man playing with my emotions. If I had a FB page active, and refused to change that I was single? He'd have a cow.

So. He pulls his usual...''I'm going to bed. This conversation IS CLOSED. If you don't let me get off the phone, I'll hang up.''

:=D

LOL

OMG.

Not even 24 hours later after we agreed to be back together. Ok. This man is going to pay. I will no longer cry...and put up with someone so blatantly disrespecting me like this. He promised he would change his status. Fine. Don't. Cause dude? YOU ARE SINGLE NOW, BABY!!!!!!

Please tell me how to do this. He texted me already. He said...''let the forums go babe. I love you. Nite.''

No. I love you doesn't cut it anymore. He loves himself. I am DONE.

Please help me...I am so bad at staying NC in the beginning stages. So...how do you do this???

Apr 12 - 9PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

michele

hahahaha a beanie cap without a propeller! I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything...it'd be everywhere. :P That's funny. Yeah, I see. Not that it matters but...I thought it was curious. He demanded I take pics of him down with his comments. (I had already taken them down, thank you lol) And then he leaves mine up. I have a feeling he thinks I'm going to ask him...but I won't. But, let's pretend I did. I could see him writing a nasty message back...''I'll take em down...don't worry!'' I guess we have to think ahead...think like them. yikes. lol NC from here on out. yes ma'am! ;) Thanks again, michele. hugs!!
Apr 12 - 9PM (Reply to #69)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre...

You are right...he is waiting for you to ask because this is the game known as "tit for tat" and it is popular with most seven year olds... So the strategy here is to say nothing...SILENCE!!! His next move might be a hot babe...don't bite..SILENCE! Be on the lookout for a beanie cap! ACTUALLY NO!!! don't be on the lookout for anything because you're NC...just saying that yes, he will go out of his way to mess with you but you have the tactical advantage of distance...SILENCE....then he can't hurt you AT ALL! Hugs!
Apr 12 - 10PM (Reply to #70)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

Yes...I am seeing this more

Yes...I am seeing this more clearly now. haha I can't believe I actually thought he might have wanted to keep them up for his sake. You're right. Thanks for this insight KG and michele. You guys are the best. :))
Apr 12 - 8PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

michele

I hear ya michele. haha Is NC not looking at profiles? I joke I joke...:P I know. I don't know why I looked. It didn't bother me. I had a strange thing come over me tonight at the gym. Like I've detached from this man. That quickly I attached...that quickly, I really felt detached. Don't know how else to explain the ''feeling.'' That said, not sure what you mean by your last statement...could you clarify? Do you mean...he knew I'd look? My friend who knows him too...said it's all a game. Him texting me to take down the pics. (and control) She said...he probably was taken aback to know you already had...but it was really to engage you...likewise, leaving my pics up...is to engage you. Meaning, he hopes I'll contact him and ask him to remove them. Aaaahhh...ok. I see now. lol I'm so slow! lol
Apr 12 - 9PM (Reply to #67)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre...

yes, that is what I meant, he knew you would look...he's messin witcha! Next week he'll have a pic of a hot babe or perhaps some drastic new hairstyle. Hopefully he'll look like an ass! Mine tried to look all cool...he's wearing a cap that looks as if it's missing a propeller...a beanie cap I think they call them... In any event...talk about a seven year old... and his face looks distorted. I don't think it's my perspective...I asked a friend and she concurred. BUT yes, he will indirectly mess with you...so unless you're tuff enough to handle it...try not to peek. It's not for everyone. Hugs!
Apr 12 - 12PM
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

So...he's being mean now...ugh

He wrote me a few texts. First one...'take my pics off of your profile.' (already done a-hole) Then, he sent another text...''I want nothing more to do with you, Dee. You are a liar. I will take your pics off of my profile when I get home.'' GO AHEAD. WHO CARES? I made a boo boo...and replied. ''I removed the pics already.'' BECAUSE...I did NOT want him thinking because he told me to do it, I did it. No. I did it without be told! Anyways...to which he said...Good. I don't even want to LOOK at you. Every single break up he has ever had...he told me...ended in either violence (women hitting him supposedly) or off the charts drama (restraining orders, etc) I feel badly that I got involved with this man. All the bad signs were there. And I ignored them. But...lessons learned. My phone is off now. One of my friends called me ...who has been following this. Not the one who gives good advice, and knows him...but another friend. She said...''there's no excuse for abuse. The fact that he needs such control over another human being, be thankful you didn't marry him.' But she went on to say...''I don't think you've heard the end of him. Be careful.''
Apr 12 - 1PM (Reply to #47)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre

NC means NC...I'm not sure if you can block his messages, but he will continue to weasel his way in and you will get sucked back in...I will demonstrate this by your admitting it...look here: I made a boo boo...and replied. ''I removed the pics already.'' BECAUSE...I did NOT want him thinking because he told me to do it, I did it. No. I did it without be told! You did not want him "thinking" see the reality is hun, it really does not matter WHAT he thinks...it does not matter what he thinks. You were motivated to answer because you too have your little power struggle going on...I get it...but you really want to screw him up...SILENCE!!! It doesn't matter what he thinks, nor will you be bothered by what he thinks or doesn't think...of course his thing is control and he knows exactly how to push your buttons. I hate to tell you this but you will NEVER win a power struggle with a narc other than to drown them in SILENCE!! They love attention. When you answered, he didn't say "oh she did it on her own" he said: "YES!!! a point for me, got her to bite - thank you very much" and gave himself a medal. SO as much as you think this shows he can't control you - you just showed him he can...his goal was a response...ANY response and he won this round. You want him to lose the next round...DO NOT REPLY. WANT TO END THE TORTURE. BLOCK HIM because I can tell you now - he will be baiting you a bit to try to suck you in. You messed with his ego some and NOBODY messes with a Narc's ego - according to them, so now this is psychological war...but unfortunately on Narc's terms...you are essentially having this war with a SEVEN YEAR OLD - my personal opinion a bit silly to get into it with a seven year old. I know the physical is deceiving...but he's SEVEN YEARS OLD Diedre! You are aware that: Every single break up he has ever had...he told me...ended in either violence (women hitting him supposedly) or off the charts drama (restraining orders, etc) and this is becasue he drove them CRAZY!!! this is a clue and incentive to drown that seven year old in SILENCE!! ANOTHER GOOD FRIEND I MIGHT ADD SAID: ''there's no excuse for abuse. The fact that he needs such control over another human being, be thankful you didn't marry him.' But she went on to say...''I don't think you've heard the end of him. Be careful.'' Wise lady...BUT you can make it the last you heard from him. Why is it his messages are still getting through? Hugs!
Apr 12 - 1PM (Reply to #48)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

michele

Ooohhh... Seriously. Oh. lol I guess I didn't look at my reply as him ''winning.'' He had the nerve to ask me to do him a favor. ''Hey Dee? Do me a favor, and take your pics off of my profile.'' No...you do it. I didn't say that. I didn't reply. Then...he sent me a text saying...''I seriously want nothing to do with you, quitter.'' I didn't reply. I get it. I should not care what he thinks. I don't know if I'm quite there yet...lol But...I'm getting there michele. I promise. I think considering...I've done pretty good...haven't gone back with him. Ignored 99.9% of his texts. I'm hoping this gets easier. I can't wait to leave work. It's hard when you're sitting around at a desk...when I'm home...my purse and phone are put away. I don't look at my phone like I do at work. I have other friends trying to reach me. I don't know how to block a text, michele? Okay...you know how many of us talk about guilty feelings with these types. He said something on Sunday to me when we were getting back together. He said...''I have been here for you to help you through your fears of loss.'' I told him...''all you have done is throw them in my face, and exploit them.'' He was stunned. He said...''I was always here for you...and now, I need YOU and you want to bail.'' Can someone help me work through this? I am never going back. No worries there. I just have that conversation mulling around in my head. :=(
Apr 12 - 2PM (Reply to #52)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre...

I am going to give you a GOLD STAR for effort, I do understand this is not easy...so BRAVO! For taking the step in making the decision to start reaching that goal of TOTAL NARC DESTRUCTION - NC...okay....I stand corrected;) As per blocking, it depends on the phone, some phones you can do it manually...check your manual or maybe do a google search: Blocking calls AND "such and such" cellphone...or perhaps contact the manufacturer or the help manual...there are forums out there so you might have to search a bit. I do know about a year ago, in my son's case, we had to contact the provider and ask that they perform the block. Now, to get to what's floating around in your thoughts: Okay...you know how many of us talk about guilty feelings with these types. He said something on Sunday to me when we were getting back together. He said...''I have been here for you to help you through your fears of loss.'' *Crickets* BRAINWASHING ALERT!! I told him...''all you have done is throw them in my face, and exploit them.'' BINGO! Good job girl! He was stunned. He said...''I was always here for you...and now, I need YOU and you want to bail.'' *MANIPULATION* - he's throwing GUILT darts Diedre... Can someone help me work through this? I am never going back. No worries there. I just have that conversation mulling around in my head. :=( See through his techniques. Learn the jargon and the weapons. I need to find a list...I believe Lisa wrote an article on this outlining the methods at least as many as she could muster they use...they use many things to make us crazy. He's DISORDERED...just keep repeating that and it will drown out the word salad, distortions, lies, brainwashing, passive aggression...all that. I'm saying this in jest, you do have to process. What I suggest is every time you get a thought...say the rose colored glasses come on...write down as many details as you can a list of all the BAD things he did...then for extra points, see if you can identify the technique used. I know you must know most of them, but I will dig around for a list. You are doing a great job Diedre!!!! Keep it up! Hugs~
Apr 12 - 2PM (Reply to #53)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

to michele

thank you so much michele!! the day is drawing to a close. i doubt he'll call me on my way home, as he normally would...when he gets off work. but if he does...i won't answer. i'll back back on tonight...!!!! :=)
Apr 12 - 3PM (Reply to #54)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

We'll be waiting Diedre!!

You did such a great job today!!! I am so proud of you...and you should be too. YOU CAN DO THIS! WARM HUGS GIRL!!!
Apr 12 - 5PM (Reply to #55)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

Kinda feeling blue but for different reasons

Survived the first day. :D I slipped up a little, but have not replied to his texts now. And he didn't call me on the way home. I had some fleeting melancholy moments thinking of him on the way home. There was a time, when we both had high hopes for this thing. I look back at our trip we took together in Feb...and it seemed surreal. But, those moments soon dissipated, when I thought of how things really have been SINCE the trip. Yelling. Berating. Demands. Unreasonable demands. Here is the problem I'm having, ya'll. It's not so much that I miss him. It's that I'm feeling sorry for him. Like, he can't seem to sustain relationships with women, and it breaks my heart for him. I know he's a jerk, too...but there is this part of me that wishes I could have helped him. How he will probably do this again and again and again...until he's an old man. It saddens me. To see people unwilling to change. He will blame me for all of this. Which is fine. I'm a big girl. I know what happened. So does he. But, I just feel for him. I look at pics of us...and he looked like he was melting looking at me. :=( Just a sad story. I'm sorry ...just venting here. Off to the gym...ttyl! thank you for saying you're proud of me michele. :=)
Apr 12 - 5PM (Reply to #59)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

You have to just take care of

You have to just take care of you now. He doesn't really want to sustain relationships like we do....he can't in any healthy manner. He only wants supply...it's not an emotional attachment. Those pictures bring back feelings for you, but not for him. It's not that he doesn't want to change, he just CAN'T. So save yourself...focus on you. I know it is hard and lonely and painful....but we're all here! Good job one Day 1!!! big hug! ~KG
Apr 12 - 10PM (Reply to #65)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

KG

ooooh my gosh, you hit the nail on the head, KG. He left them up...because he wanted me to see them to bring back memories of what I said to him on his profile. WOW...I would never have thought of that. Thank you. NC FOREVA! LOL Really, thanks for this insight. :)
Apr 12 - 8PM (Reply to #60)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

You're right, KG. I went to

You're right, KG. I went to the gym tonight...love weight lifting. I am seeing veins now! Woot! lol I felt a lot better during and after the workout. Here's something. So, I went onto the website we belong to. He asked me to take down the pics of him on my profile. (through text msg) I already had before he asked. There were a bunch of me on his profile...for everyone to see who clicks on it. So, tonight, I clicked on his profile. Just to see. I know...I know. But, I didn't feel upset or anything...just was curious. And ALL my pics were still up. I looked to see if he had been online there...and he had been. Something about that gesture touched me. NO WORRIES, LADIES. LOL I am not going back. But, not sure why he kept them up...do you think he thought I'd see them? And ask him about why he didn't take them down? Because he wanted ME to go into HIS PROFILE and take them down. I didn't reply. First, you can only remove pics from your own profile...no other members can. So, I know he wanted them down...not sure why he left them ALL up. What's your thought to that???
Apr 12 - 10PM (Reply to #62)
kgirl
kgirl's picture

Deirdre ..... good for you!

Deirdre ..... good for you! Working out is a great way to take care of you and a mood elevator too :). Your narc is totally messing with you! It's all such a cat and mouse game with them. My N still has a picture up as her profile pic from a trip we went on a YEAR ago. She put it up right after we broke up for good. I haven't said a word about it..... NC all the way :) Stay strong D..... you're doing great! ~KG
Apr 12 - 10PM (Reply to #63)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

KG

so is her husband in a permanent coma? is he literally brain dead? he doesn't know his wife has a pic of you two up? there is an old saying...you can judge a person by who he/she is married to. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!! lol!! Oh, I'm funny. ;)
Apr 12 - 10PM (Reply to #64)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

yes Diedre you are very funny!

And I am having a blast here tonight with you...and I have a feeling this is going to be the BEST NC Campaign ever... Seriously the impression you make just right here in cyberspace...girl, this turd does not derserve you! AND, not only are we going to go NC...we are going to work on really really really healing and fine tuning the narcdar and we are going to ensure that we never get narced again!!! AND we are going to build ourselves up and put our butts up on our shoulders - cause we can and know that we crap flowers and we won't ever take crumbs again. *by the way, I don't know why the phrase putting one's butt up on their shoulders is supposed to mean one is stutting like their hot stuff but I digress* We will learn what a healthy relationship is, we will learn our boundaries, we will fall in love with ourselves...and when we're ready, well test the waters and see if there's a good catch...but seriously, we don't need them and YOU and everyone I've communicated with on this board is such wonderful beautiful human beings...I spit on EVERY narc that has abused us! HUGS!
Apr 12 - 8PM (Reply to #61)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre

My thought to that is these damn narcs as much as I hate to admit it - may not know squat about themselves, but they know us better than their left hand! They studied us well before they targeted us, they got inside our brains and know EXACTLY how they function which is WHY they are so gooood at messing with out heads. That being the case...he knows you and he knows what you will do...which is exactly what you did...so stop looking, peeking, and telling us you're okay and don't worry. If you're gonna go NC...balls to the WALL! But I understand it's only day 1.5. When you see things like that, don't read into them...he knows you and anything he does will be intentional just to get to you even when it appears "it's not"
Apr 12 - 5PM (Reply to #56)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre

I am very proud of you but let's put this thing in perspective...I hope I don't have your story confused... I think you said his mom was doting... So Narcboy doesn't need your help...he has MOMMA! You need your help and your kids need your help and I think those are TWO, THREE not sure how many kids...VERY high priorities on the help scale. HE will sucessfully find many more people *a.k.a.* VICTIMS to help him. THIS is very unfortunate, but I don't think the god's said: We now place you Diedra on this plane to help NARCboy. NOPE, I don't think the gods said that at all. I think the gods said: Diedra, we're gonna put you here, and you will have free will - we will bless you with children, and family and things may be bumpy...but when you find a door slam, we'll make sure you have a window! AND then they threw you down on this plane and said: Ready, set go! SO - you are doing good with the choices, you are choosing you, you are choosing to get back to a good place, you are choosing this for you, and you are choosing this so that you can become whole and reach your fullest potential and be one heck of a mom, and so that you can grow and figure out where the next stop will be. Stay open and stay committed - and don't feel any guilt...whether he's disordered or not...the god's sent him here too with a mission, and maybe...just maybe I'm thinking it doesn't mean you had to be a permanant part of it. That's my take...you each had a reason to come together...for me it was to get me to SEE a lot of things...and address a lot of things...but it wasn't meant to be forever. Hugs! "People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) I'm adding this later...but even IF I got your story confused, he has a mommie. NOT YOUR JOB!!! Don't own what's not your's to own. ;)
Apr 12 - 8PM (Reply to #57)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

michele

You really are an awesome person, michele. Honestly, I can't thank you enough for the time and effort you put into all these replies to help us here!! If you were my neighbor...I'd be buying dinner on Friday night! :D Thank you so very much. I know you are right. I'm feeling better. Relief. Heading towards peace. God bless!!
Apr 12 - 9PM (Reply to #58)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

You are welcome Diedre!

Don't thank me or think about buying me dinner - become aware and pay it forward...last I read 60 million victims of psychopaths and some of them have children that will be affected unfortunately. I can only suspect the number will grow so awarness, and education is needed. Hugs!
Apr 12 - 2PM (Reply to #49)
really
really's picture

RE: He said...''I was always

RE: He said...''I was always here for you...and now, I need YOU and you want to bail.'' I think it's crap! Someone probably said it to him once or he heard it on TV. He's saying whatever he can think of to guilt you into NOT bailing. Yes, they do exploit and use against you, things that are told in confidence, esp in moments of weakness and intimacy. Mine did the same thing and brought it up 5 years later. Has he told you WHY he needs you? No. You just happen to be there. And it's a lot easier to try to keep you around, saying whatever it takes to try to do it, than it does to go find someone else, especially when what he's saying is just random, empty crap designed to pull on your heartstrings. It's feigned, IMHO.
Apr 12 - 2PM (Reply to #50)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

I doubt he'll ever

I doubt he'll ever admit... ''I need you Dee because beating you up every day makes me feel like a man.'' haha But, at least that would be honesty. :P TO MICHELE: I don't think he's going to ask for me back this time. Not like over the weekend. Not this time. Because he asked me to take his pics off my profile on this website we're on, and my pics off of his. I told me friend this, she said...''that was just a way to engage you in conversation...and order you around to boot!'' hahahaha I hadn't thought of that, really. But...he has a massive ego. MAAAAAASSSSIVE. And he told the world through FB we were done. God only knows what he told people what happened. I'm at least being kind. I have been saying...to our mutual acquaintances...''we are two totally different people.'' Those who know him...know he has a temper, and a control problem. Those who know me...know I'm PERFECT. LOL Just kidding. :P No, they know that I'm the opposite of him, though. So...many ppl thought this whole thing was rather comical from the onset. lol But seeing he told the world on FB he is now single...he will look stupid pursuing me again...so, that is why he won't. Anywho...I am thinking I won't hear from him anymore. I don't know why. But, I am done replying....nonetheless. I pray he gets help. That's where my interest in him ends.
Apr 12 - 10PM (Reply to #51)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Diedre...

I did not say he would ask you back and admit to the WORLD he wanted you back...he has an IMAGE to protect. BUT he is very much addicted to control and the game and to them..."TAG" you're it! they're sick puppies and they will wait it out some, but it's alway a game, it's alway a con...addicts always need a fix... EVEN those who use people as drugs. Hugs!
Apr 12 - 6AM
really
really's picture

Wow, he couldn't pretend to

Wow, he couldn't pretend to be a decent guy for even 24 hours?!?!?! Nice! The one piece of advice I can offer in establishing and maintaining NC is to try to separate yourself from the emotion of his contact. I'm not saying the emotion of the situation - you HAVE to deal with those as they arise, but that's done here and in private and on your own time in a way that you need to do it. I'm talking about the emotions associated directly with contact from him. You need to DELETE him as a contact at every point. BLOCK him everywhere. And if he gets through, DO NOT READ/LISTEN/ANSWER. That is key! If you truly are committed to making it through this with NC, you cannot give him the opportunity to make you listen. You see how he twists EVERYTHING! If you are done and want NC, it no longer matters what he says! It's all BS, lies, and blame anyway. You are so right that NC is for YOU! You will likely have the high "high" of finally taking this step for yourself. And later, you will be lower than you ever have been, missing his presence, etc. You need to be prepared for both the ups and downs and focus on the goal - NC - regardless of how you feel. You KNOW this is the best thing for you. Don't let the emotion of contact (or lack of) get in the way of your commitment. You can do it! hugs, really
Apr 12 - 7AM (Reply to #44)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

really

yep...couldn't even pretend. lol He found someone vulnerable. Me. He found someone with fears of loss. Me. He found someone who when he turned the heat up...I stayed in the pot. There is an old adage. There was a frog, who was in a pot of water. When someone turned up the heat just a tad...he stayed in it. Then, the person turned up the heat again...just a tad. He stayed in. About 5 minutes goes by, and the water is boiling over. The frog finally jumps out...but boy, is he wounded! That shouldn't be us, ladies. When these people start ''turning up the heat?'' GET OUT OF THE POT. I should have left him as the first sign of abuse. But, I empathize. We tell ourselves...this person is having a bad day. When people have bad days...they're isolated. Abuse is cyclical and chronic. If you are hearing how awful you are day in and out...chances are...YOU ARE BEING ABUSED. Anyways...I was just talking with my friend. She is proud of me, and wants me to stay strong. I told her, he may contact her (even though he is jealous of her and my friendship--yes, you read that right) to find out where I am, since I'm ignoring him now. And I am not logging onto that website we belong to. I want to lay low...he will be watching my every move, I know it. Waiting for me to talk to a man, so he can pounce. And accuse me of being a slut or something. Ugh...sad, I know how he thinks. Anywho...he sent a text while I was on with her...''nice, Dee...no reply to my text last night, and no good morning text.'' I am going to shut my phone off so I can work. I won't make the mistake of checking it every few minutes a text comes in. I can get back to my other friends/family later. I just pray he doesn't try to find me here ....my friend thinks he won't...she said he will try with words for a while to hurt you. She said beware of his texts to get scathing...mean...nasty. And then to be nice...and then maybe silent...all in an attempt to get me to speak to him. She said...everything he will do will be an attempt to get a reaction from me. I will give him NONE. I might sound angry. but, really...I am just resolved. No more abuse!
Apr 12 - 10AM (Reply to #45)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Narcs/diedre

Like to win and have the last word diedre, he may up the ante a bit before he wanders off and even then he may wander off for a time and try to re-surface. You stay firm in your resolve. That mututal friend you have with the FB put him/her on notice too...YOU don't want to know or hear anything. I am soooo proud of you. Keep this up. The fog will clear. THE fog clears sooooo much when we go NC. The beginning is hard but you have a good friend, you have this board and I'm sure you have others in your circle who can and will support you. You are RIGHT...YOU DO NOT DESERVE ABUSE! AND BE WARY OF HIS WORDS OF UNDYING DEVOTION AND HAVING LEARNED THE LESSON OF HIS WAYS BY 'LOSING' YOU...AND HOW HE IS GOING TO CHANGE AND WANTS TO MARRY YOUR WHATEVER...BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...THEY TALK CRAP!!! IT'S ALL CRAP...DON'T BE FOOLED AGAIN. AND HE WILL SOUND VERY SINCERE, HE WILL 'MOVE MOUNTAINS' OR SO IT WILL SEEM...ALL B.S.! Hugs!
Apr 12 - 6AM
kgirl
kgirl's picture

I'm SO glad you are going NC!

I'm SO glad you are going NC! He is POISON for you D! You sound strong and resolved about your decision.....but I know that strength can waiver and how painful it becomes. Just know we are all here for you :)...stay close. hugs, vibes of strength and peace ~KG
Apr 12 - 7AM (Reply to #39)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

kauaigirl

hey KG! THANK YOU!!!! {{HUGS}} Are you NC with your situation?