Healing is a Process

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#1 Mar 22 - 3PM
SoOverItNext
SoOverItNext's picture

Healing is a Process

Thank you so much for commenting. I feel so insecure at times.
Luckily, none of my friends have been in this situation so they are not going to understand what it's lke to have someone string you along like a puppet. Some people's careers, schools, parents, addictions, obsessions, etc string them along like puppets but because in my case it was a man, I'm so gulliable and naive. Give me a break!

I have to learn to get my backbone back. He has controlled my life for 4 years now and now I want to get back to appreciating and enjoying...ME! It was ALL about HIM all the time.

I'm actually considering a makeover, I go to the gym to get back in shape (5 times a week). I have really long hair and I want a short cut but kept the lenght because he liked it long. I'm cutting it off. I'm ready to look and feel good about myself again so that I can work on me and love me again so that my REAL King will recognize a lady when he sees it and acts accordingly. And this time, I will be happy with or without him!

The love I really deserve is out there waiting for me to empty my trash and approach love with an open heart.

This time I will enjoy getting to know him very well, watch for signs and continue to exist outside of our relationship!

This time I need a return on my investment. When I give to a man, he needs to be willing to give just as much as I do. It doesn't have to give in the same way, but it has to be a situatin where I am NOT giving more than I am receiving.

Just so exhausted, I have no where to look but UP! I have looked down (literally *head down*) for 3 years.

I'm sick and tired and I going to defeat this hurt/anger. I am NOT taking NO for an answer. I won't let an A**hole take my whole life!!!! 3 years was too much for me. Now that I know he has a problem, and took advantage of genuine love, I don't want that type of a** anyway, I need someone of good character. I miss him, for sure. But, I miss high school, too (would I go back? No!) I'm happy for the lessons that high school taught me and I won't make some of the same mistakes that I made then. But, do I miss it enough to sit back and be stuck in the past and stunt my grow? No!

My friends don't have to understand.I understand. You ladies are helping me trumendously and I'm so glad that I am here!

Pray for confidence to overlook your past mistakes, move forward and start again.

One thing I love about life is you can ALWAYS start over. Try not to focus on the hurt but rather the lessons. You won't ever get caught doing it again once you get past this, I bet!!!

If not, you're wasting your time here.

Toodles! Thanks fot listening. Hugs!!!