Think about it like this, they are not NORMAL, we...or shall I say me, I got rid of everything he gave me, I donated it to a womens shelter, I did not want it as a reminder to the dysfuntional, crazy making relationship with N, they also were not gifts from the "heart" they are "wired" differently, they do not do things the way we would or for the reasons we would, think about it each time you wonder why he does something, he's a DISORDER, lol.
My ex never gave me much, but he did give me very expensive gold earrings, which will NOT be going to a shelter ;-)
I just won't wear them until I am totally over this.
Any other reminders of him, were gone in 30 secs after I kicked him out of here.
In the 5 yrs together, I never had ONE pic of him in my house because I just knew this relationship was "off"!
They are very secretive and you have no idea how much until the crap hit the fan, I am not saying you're wrong, I am saying DON'T PUT ANYTHING PAST THEM, if they can fake an entire relationship they can fake anything, N had a cell phone I knew nothing about, I paid for his because whoa is me could not get one in his own name nor afford to pay for it, he also claimed to be home all night when he was farrrr from it, his roomate was on his computer!!!
He also have a pic of my vehicle up on his FB, profile pic, everyone know it's mine, I asked him to take it down, he won't, I don't not know why he won't they're just sick, but for whatever reason they do anything you can believe it's all ABOUT HIM!
I agree with the ladies above. He easily uses those pictures to make it all about him. 'I can't let her go' blah blah blah!
It's exactly how my xn began his game when I met him. I felt so sorry for him because he loved his ex so much and he painted her as such a terrible person. HE was the victim!
He's using your pictures, to manipulate his new course of supply.
"see look" I have female "friends" "ex girlfriends" "Im a nice guy" see: Look at me...I am sensitive...I even keep my ex girlfriend up on my FB..."SHE's the one with the sore spot"..."See look at me (she's the last one I lived vicarously through" Look at ME *her pic* Look at Me!...Me! I'm just an all around harmless guy...SEE: Look at me...SOMEONE dated me/slept with me/lived with me...See: Look at ME ME ME...
AND when you're done looking at ME...let's talk about the pic...it's a great conversation starter where I can tell you my modified version of the story...the tale of a victim...ME!! See: Look at ME!
Since Ns/Ps see people as objects, what's more of an object (and some THING you don't have to relate to) than pictures? In a picture in my college newsletter, there was a pic of the ex-Psych professor and I... it's the only picture of me that got into the newsletter over 4 years, and it's the only one of him that really has him singled out rather than an Anonymous Academic-looking Crowd. The ex-Psych professor had very few pictures;he had one picture in his office (It might've had his long-distance girlfriend, never did take a look) He's not the type of Narc who posts tons of pics of himself online. On the contrary, very secretive.
Yep, it's about the image, not the substance.
The image of a person can be mentally enhanced and manipulated into whatever suits the need. It's a superficial construct that has limitless possibilities - the person in the image can be a perfect saint or a sexy vixen.
Any need or desire can be projected onto that image. Looking at it can fulfill the same goal as looking at a pornographic image - to transport the viewer into their fantasy world where you are the 'perfect' being that you can never be in the real world.
Leo Tolstoy's favorite picture of his wife, Sofia, was when she was a little girl. He had a very paternalistic, patronizing attitude towards her... because he was old enough to be her father. The fact he was a fan of Schopenhauer, who considered women perpetually children (in a moral/emotional/intellectual sense) contributed to this.
The ex-Psych prof would beg me for pictures of myself;he'd talk about how Leo would admire pictures of Sofia when he was absent (yet Leo would physically abandon Sofia when they were in the same house, or he'd emotionally abandon her when she was mourning the deaths of their children)... I didn't give him any. I'm an abstraction to him, as he is to me. He doesn't know how I've changed over time, how I packed on the pounds when I worked at a Narc workplace for 5 years, how I look and am healthier now. He doesn't know.
Some Ns/Ps loooove posting pictures of themselves to exhibit themselves as "perfect." A Narc on a dating site doesn't have qualms about posting a picture from 20 years ago when he was younger&handsomer. The ex-P was the opposite. Secretive.
right, lol
stay~strong
My ex never gave me much, but
that too....
stay~strong
On some level
Trulybroken
I think it has to do with "image"
Pics as trophies
objects
Objectification
DS