A tale of revenge

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#1 Jan 11 - 4PM
momoya
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A tale of revenge

Let me start off my saying that we should not seek revenge, and I did not seek it, although I did fantasize about it!

I wanted to pass along what happened to the EXN after he dissapeared on me. I have shared my story and I found out that he was not only married, but a seriel cheater as well. After his 2nd OW contacted me on FB and we compared Narc's I was told about another- younger OW -(let's just call her YOW)and she learned that he was also seeing this "girl" behind her back and his wife's back.

Of course, it didn't "mean" anything :)

So, sometimes these Narcs really don't know who they are messing with. And, in the case with YOW I think this one came back to bite him in the behind. You see YOW didn't appreciate falling for a married man, and his excuses did not work on her, or her family (which like mine,he met) didn't appreciate all of his lies either. After all, he was in the military and spoke of things such as integrity and honor, but of course, he had none of either. But, they all thought he did.

YOW was so heartbroken, and angered she started sending him anonymous text messages to his phone...and his wifes phone...nasty messages. She made jokes directed at him, his penis size, his lying, she really let it go! She also expressed her dissapointment in his tiny member, (some thing all of us were dissapointed in.) I found it exciting, enthralling, humorous, to hear about this YOW and her horribe (harrassing) text messages. They went on for months and he just couldn't figure out who it was, he blamed OW#3 (or is it #2?!) and was convinced it was she that was sending these messages. She denied it was her. It was only after a trace that he figured out the area the texts were coming from - see, she sent them via computer, so there was no number to trace back.

During my heartache, fog and confusion it was pretty great to hear about this and to hear that someone finally wasn't going to take his BS and actually did something to try and get even with him. She did not hold back a bit (blame on young age!)

Although she did not keep NC she did get to vent her anger and feelings and got in quite a few good jabs at him in the process and also made him crazy with paranoia!

Can you imagine being able to send messages to your narc without him knowing it is you?

She eventually stopped but I wonder if maybe this will stick with him and next time he may not be so careless with the people he says he loves?

Jan 12 - 10AM
Susan32
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Telling his colleagues I didn't know he already had a girlfriend

The ex-Psych professor flaunted his girlfriend right after I told him I had lost a friend to cancer. I talked briefly and courteously with her. He made a mad dash for the exit, leaving her behind. She had to run down the stairs to catch up with him. Since the ex-P didn't bother to stick around and defend himself (or make me look crazy, because usually Ns/Ps do that), I told his assembled colleagues in the coollest, calmest voice I could muster that the ex-P hadn't told me he already had a girlfriend. I got a moment of silence, and the colleague who went to grad school with him gave me this incredibly sad look of sympathy. It was VERY public. After all he did during the final D&D, I wanted to see him suffer some humiliation. Of course he ran before he tasted it.
Jan 11 - 5PM
Briseis
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I often wonder if the "cure"

I often wonder if the "cure" for burglars, rapists and Narcs would be to burgle, rape or Narc the WRONG PERSON. There's a county to the west of mine that is pretty much rural living. Their county commissioner came right out and stated, publically, that in HIS county, a burglar would be stealing from the wrong folks. Which I don't doubt at all. I love hearing the stories of the would-be rapists that get their brains bashed in for trying to victimize the wrong woman. Sadly, people that burgle or rape or Narc are not exactly the types to learn from their experience. It would not occur to them to think "Hmm. If I hadn't cheated on my wife in the first place, I wouldn't be in this situation." It's so obvious to you and me. But it is not obvious to a Narc. Look closely at their behavior and THINK about it. You might be able to rattle a Narc, piss them off, embarrass them for a while. But it's just like pissing off a hornet. They buzz around madly and then they are back to where they started. They don't learn. They can't, it's a symptom of the personality disorder. So your exN will have his moments of paranoia and get all flapped out and have to work pretty hard on his poor wife but when the dust settles, he won't think that he caused any of it. It was that crazy little YOW and all these stupid biatches. And he'll just find another one (or three) :(
Jan 12 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
momoya
momoya's picture

they DON't Get it

They really don't get it and never see what they create in their own lives, and the misery they bring to others, often unnecessary and unprovoked, seemingly without regard or remorse. His "I'm sorry's" really didn't connect with anyone because he just kept doing the same things. The worst thing for him was to be found out, and called out. He comes from this place of "well she is just upset because I dumped her" when he never has dumped anyone, rather he just disappears leaving us (wife , OW's) to wonder what the heck happened and discover and find out on our own who we were really dealing with. Even though this revenge tactic didn't work to bring about any real acknowledgement other than to tell her to stop harrasing him and that he would call NCIS on her, he doesn't seem to connect that he would expose himself (via NCIS) complaint - I hardly believe that he would do this or that they would take him seriously - how embarassing! but he thinks he is so important and above any kind of payback that he threatens her after lying to her and manipulating her. Just unbelievable! Maybe one day he will encounter a female narc, and the injury will be so hard for her that she will lash out. I guess I was thinkging that one day, he will try this on the wrong person, and it may be someone that won't be able to stop themselves. I know that distance helped me deal with my anger, had he lived close by, I would of wanted to confront him, after all he IS married and going around purposefully LYING to women to get what he wants. I just think it's like playing with fire, eventually he will get burned, since he burns everyone else, it is just his karma!

momoya

Jan 12 - 10AM (Reply to #3)
momoya
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one other thing..

I was thinking about his NCIS threat- can you imagine the conversation to NCIS? "Yes, this is Very Important Narc and a girl I dated is sending me harrassing texts and I want you to stop it" NCIS: What kind of texts? NArc: oh, calling my penis small and saying I am a liar. NCIS: Well is your penis small and did you lie? Haha I just have to laugh at this whole idea. I think she stopped because she ran out of ammo! Not because she thought he could really do anything to her for those texts, it wasn't like she was threatening to hurt/mame him!! I just have to laugh at how important he thinks he is.

momoya