My idea for a book...

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February 13, 2011 - 2:55am (Reply to #60)
apple
apple's picture

Aceonelady...

Hon, I am sooooo very sorry for what he did to you. I bet he is still single and ewwwww what a gigantic CREEP!!!!!
February 12, 2011 - 8:14pm
justicejones
justicejones's picture

Mine said..."you wanna die,

Mine said..."you wanna die, bi!$#?" and "you deserve to have the life beat out of you!" Oh yes, this is a great one, "When are you gonna come home and make this fu$#*&' screaming baby shut up?" This is a goody..."your crazy. my mom thinks so and so does my whole family!" I love this one that he said a few months after he left us. He had been calling every day, many times a day, telling me how sorry he was and that he was saving up to come back home to us (was in Hawaii at the time). He had admitted to an affair but was "so sorry" and it was over and he was done with her and only wanted me...he told me he would call me the next morning to make travel arrangements. He didn't call so I called his phone that he had been calling me from. No answer. A few minutes later "she" called back demanding why i was calling her phone. I told her that "Ike" had been calling me from that phone. She just kept repeating herself like a crazy woman. I asked where "ike" was and she said, "right here lying in bed next to me." I said I wanted to talk to him...I could here him say..."I don't want to talk to her, I don't even love her!" WOW! That just about drove me completely crazy. CRAZY MAKING words and behavior of a narc!
February 13, 2011 - 3:16am (Reply to #54)
apple
apple's picture

oh my word JJ!!!!!

What a freaking disgusting pig!!!!!!! I am so very happy that you are safe and away from him!!!!!!!! Have you been on the other site much?
February 14, 2011 - 3:42pm (Reply to #55)
justicejones
justicejones's picture

cherry blossom-

Your thread was a hit, girlfriend! Yes, I have been there, but nobody else has, so I came back over here! How are you?
February 14, 2011 - 5:27pm (Reply to #56)
apple
apple's picture

JJ!

I miss talking to you. I'm doing SO much better now. Thank goodness and its about time. lol. How are you doing? I hope you have an amazing day =)
February 16, 2011 - 12:13am (Reply to #57)
justicejones
justicejones's picture

cherry blosssom~

I miss talking to you too. I do plan on coming to visit this summer and I am soooooo happy you are doing better! Me too! I am taking the boys to Disneyland in early March...just us three. Yay! A reward to us all for putting HIM behind us.
February 17, 2011 - 7:42pm (Reply to #58)
apple
apple's picture

Yay JJ!!!!

Disneyland!! Wow, you will have so much fun and how exciting for your boys. Have they ever been before? I'm trying to think of other fun things we can do when you come. Downtown is always good for shopping but I doubt they would like it that much except we do have the most amazing candy store in the world. lol. Anyways, so happy for you. Your boys are really lucky to have such an awesome mom!!
February 12, 2011 - 2:33pm
Mindy
Mindy's picture

Great Idea!

The worst thing I can remember him saying was after he cheated on me and left me is that he wanted to be a closer friend to me but all my sad emotions were such a drag for him to deal with when he was trying to be in a good mood. Asshole.
February 12, 2011 - 6:55am
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

Great thread cherry blossom

mine said the infamous, " I never loved you. I just wanted us to get a house together so I could drive you off the cliff and get the house." than my friends is true love and devotion. He also said while I was visiitng him in the hospital for a major operation, I was helping him take care of his stuff, that he wished i had bigger breasts, but some years later recanted, and said my breasts were fine and he did not want a woman with fake boobs.
February 12, 2011 - 6:09am
Anne_
Anne_'s picture

my fav quote

on the fact he doesn't want to see his daughter. I don't have a child. Having children is quite subjective. If I say I don't have a daughter, I just .... don't I'm so horny I could rape you (I have a history of sexual abuse) Stop being hysteric. You cannot be in pain (after I got my eardrums pierced in a diving accident, I was deaf, unable to walk bc of balance problems, and he refused to get me pain killers in a shop 500 m further) You wanting something is another thing than I wanting something (when I asked him kindly to put the volume of his (very loud) CD of bagpipe music down, on a Sunday morning when I made breakfast for him. I was never able to play my music at home)
February 12, 2011 - 5:54am
Scotchy71
Scotchy71's picture

Ha

"Oh poor little Scotchy, narc broke her heart, killed her dream of moving to the states to help me help my Mom, have his children.....are you still milking sympathy from your friends?"... Yep, that hurt....he told me it was what he wanted too.....
February 12, 2011 - 5:19am
nancyh
nancyh's picture

cherryblossom (book idea) -

cherryblossom (book idea) - "Bite me" - In and of itself I know it doesn't sound too bad but his response was to a reasonable question I had asked about something he said/did and it was the first time he had said something "mean" to me. I remember being so shocked that he would say something like that to me. It was the beginning of the inconsistencies in his behavior and one of the first times that I can remember that the mask fell.

Nan

February 14, 2011 - 5:32pm (Reply to #48)
apple
apple's picture

Yep Nancyh!

That's EXACTLY what I mean. The one thing that took your breath away. And bite me? I haven't heard that since I was like 12 years old.
February 12, 2011 - 3:47am
apple
apple's picture

I just thought of another one...

~You will ALWAYS want ME!!! I will Fu** you on your weading day!!!!!!!!!!!! ~I hope your staying skinny for me. I don't like fat chicks.
February 14, 2011 - 5:33pm (Reply to #46)
apple
apple's picture

oops!

I meant wedding day. I'm not very good at checking for typos. lol
February 13, 2011 - 8:02am (Reply to #45)
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

Cherry Blossom

It is funny in hindsight, but i think a lot of these Narcs have issues with heavier women, but who cares if they have potbellies, are blubbery or whatever,mine use to say he liked women who were not fat many times, here we go with the double standard life of the wackos...............
December 13, 2010 - 3:08pm
mystwoman
mystwoman's picture

The meanest, most cruel

The meanest, most cruel thing xnh said to me was, "Why don't you go die, and get it over with?" He said this when I was having a serious autoimmune health problem that was in a full-blown flare-up, and he was raging at me because I couldn't go camping. He told me I was holding him back and ruining his life because I was sick. I don't think I'll ever laugh about that one. On a more humorous note, xnh yelled at me in the middle of a restaurant on Valentine's Day because I'd been leaving the lid up on the toilet. One of his mommy's rules was that EVERYONE puts the lid down, and xnh decided that's how it would be at our house. So I went completely "rogue" and started leaving it up every time. Xnh actually COUNTED how many times I didn't put the lid down, and blasted me on Valentines Day with his "revelation". How romantic of him! lol.

______________________________________________________
God sometimes removes a person from your life for your protection. Don't run after them.

December 12, 2010 - 6:53pm
Susan32
Susan32's picture

"Words of my Perfect Teacher"

I know I'm using this sarcastically. The book is actually about a Buddhist monk (the one who directed "The Cup") So, here are some corkers from the ex-Psych professor- Calling me a "slut" whenever I wore a dress. I could dress like a nun or in a burqa, but he'd still call me a slut. "If you're so unhappy, why don't you kill yourself?" "You need to learn to be humble." "I'm going to hurt you." "I wish I could sue you!" (because I had told classmates about "Wittgenstein, Tolstoy and the Meaning of Life") "You're being stupid and irritating" (whenever I was happy) "Only dumb animals and stupid kids like you!" "How are the snot-nosed kids?" (when I was volunteering at a local school) "You are encroaching on my territory." (when I'd inquire about Wittgenstein, philosophy) "I feel more comfortable around men." "I love the thought of you, weeping and abandoned." "She is going to a therapist to learn how to manage her feelings."
December 12, 2010 - 7:04pm (Reply to #39)
apple
apple's picture

omg!!!!!!!!

I don't know how you survived all that abuse!!! He is such a CREEP!!!!!!!!!!!!
December 16, 2010 - 12:11am (Reply to #42)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

But wait, there's more....the infamous Idiotic Grin

Saying I had an "idiotic grin" whenever I was happy. He said it to my face, he also said it to his circle of male followers.
December 13, 2010 - 8:38pm (Reply to #41)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Survivor

The ironic kicker is that the summer after the D&D was the first season of SURVIVOR. I certainly felt like one! Sad to say, this ex-P is still teaching. One of my friends said of his tenure "don't envy his ill-gotten gain." And, because I wrote my senior essay on Augustine... he NEVER wrote on Augustine again (he did publish an article about Augustine a year after the D&D,but it was probably in the pipeline before my senior year)... so I was powerful enough to taint something for him.
December 12, 2010 - 7:09pm (Reply to #40)
Susan32
Susan32's picture

How I dodged the bullet...

I don't know how I managed to save myself from dating and/or having sex with him. In the beginning, he was attractive, and I would've slept with him despite his sliminess. By my senior year, he was drinking A LOT in front of students, and he had gotten plump. He's still a teacher. He got tenure 3 years after the D&D.... one wonders if the fact he was getting NS from his parents, his twins and his wife somehow saved his butt... Besides, if he had gotten fired... it would've made me a target. He would've blamed me. It sickens me that he's STILL teaching. I was so ANGRY during the final D&D that suicide attempts were out of the question. I wanted to be alive and well to stick it to him. I would've passed him the bitter cup of failure, and I was NOT going to let it pass from him. He could've sweat blood, and I wouldn't have cared.
December 12, 2010 - 4:05pm
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

Ready?

2 days after my son was born I found a bill he ran up and I questioned him. He lied. I told him I knew it was him and I can call the company and prove it. He sat there holding the baby, ignorant. I had the phone on my ear and just when I asked the Company to email me the signed receipt, he smacked my face and phone flew and broke a picture. I fell but I stood up fast and straight and said, "anger breeds guilt, loser." He said: "you are a fat ugly bitch" That one is the jaw dropper. I gave birth 72 hours ago and I wasn't even fat! Huh?
December 12, 2010 - 6:38pm (Reply to #37)
Ava
Ava's picture

Ah f**k me blueeyes

Definitely tell that to the judge on Fri. Gees. Its f**king awful but I cannot say how IMPRESSED I am at your reaction. Absolute spine of steel you have. Ava xx

Ava

December 12, 2010 - 6:28pm (Reply to #36)
apple
apple's picture

Blueeyes

What a freaking monster!!!!! I don't even know what to say. Actually, a few things come to mind but I don't want to get in trouble =) So proud of you for taking a stand for you and your children!!
December 12, 2010 - 4:21pm (Reply to #35)
jen79
jen79's picture

yours

does not only look like a creepy psycho, he IS a creepy psycho. With his cold reptilian stare. I am so happy you are away from him
December 12, 2010 - 4:14pm (Reply to #33)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Blue, put that sh*t in your

Blue, put that sh*t in your addendum to the judge!!! Every single one of those things!! She said "be specific". How much more specific can you get than this? (((hugs)))
December 12, 2010 - 4:26pm (Reply to #34)
blueeyes
blueeyes's picture

Brisies

Ugh, I did. She wants the violent clincher. I found the voice notes. I'm trying. No lawyer. Yet.
December 12, 2010 - 3:58pm
Amazed
Amazed's picture

They Project

Oftentimes, when we think about it, the hurtful things they say to us, are actually their problems. They just say things pointing the finger at us, and we are like WTF? For example, exPsychopath/N said to a colleague, oh, I have to do such and such or I will be taking sides... His statements didn't make any sense. Talk about word salad. These guys create all the drama, and some how get others to play along. It is playing in their drama, where they alone create the rules, no one else will ever know the rules, and others always lose. Family, their innocent children, included. It is so sad. I do not envy the people in their life.
December 12, 2010 - 3:46pm
imabloke
imabloke's picture

its the pits...

Stick and stones may break my bones... but words can hurt forever... The hurtful things that they've said and not even a 'sorry'. It really is just the arse end of humanity.. what a fucking bunch of emotional bullies... sorry just having a rant...
December 12, 2010 - 6:32pm (Reply to #30)
apple
apple's picture

I know!!

The only positive thing I think about is how we escaped and made it out alive. I would rather be by myself then have people that do/will hurt me in my life.
December 12, 2010 - 3:10pm
Briseis
Briseis's picture

My fave

"I guess I just felt sorry for you."
February 12, 2011 - 4:55am (Reply to #28)
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Eww Briseis that was a

Eww Briseis that was a running theme with my narc "i guess i just felt sorry for you " , "you love me way more than i love you " , "i guess i am happy with you only 30% of the time ", "i want you go find someone else so i can be free from you ", "why do you still keep coming round it must be horrible for you " . .. "i didnt say i wanted to be friends i just thought i wouldnt close the door to you " WTF ? sorry im on a roll "i thought i would give you a hand because i know you dont have many friends " "i got mine thanks " eww , "the trouble with you scoop is ...... " then he would spend an hour telling me how he is so sorted and im so rubbish...."its youre fault you got pregnant YOU slept with ME" i can laugh at that one now ... so many more but the best one "im not a controle freak "
December 12, 2010 - 3:21pm (Reply to #24)
Jean
Jean's picture

oh, that is classic

What a flaming piece of crap! I'll tell ya, I've never known anyone like my N who I wanted to punch so much. What a hilarious thing to say - even though it's so incredibly hurtful. I mean, who the heck does he think he is? I wonder if these guys save up these lines, and then see how effective they are, and re-use them over and over again. It seems like if you really wanted to hurt someone then you would just use the lines that get the most effect, statistically that is. Which might explain why insulting someone's boobs is used so frequently - because it often works. I think I am going to start storing up my own lines.
December 12, 2010 - 3:35pm (Reply to #25)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

I bought it hook line and

I bought it hook line and sinker too :( I owned my own home free and clear, had a very successful career as an RN, and had many other remarkable accomplishments. Just kind of normal things that demonstrated that I was a survivor and fairly courageous. He was homeless (I only discovered this later) had two outstanding arrest warrants, and a long history of drug use, meth manufacturing and didn't have a pot to piss in. But he felt SORRY for me. My ass.
December 12, 2010 - 6:51pm (Reply to #27)
Jean
Jean's picture

Brieseis, you are hilarious

ROFLOL. . . . oh, if you could the N I "sexually harassed" at work: five feet tall, balding, chubby, dresses like - well it's hard to describe, let's just say overalls are a staple of his wardrobe. . .
December 12, 2010 - 3:53pm (Reply to #26)
Amazed
Amazed's picture

LOL!!! Briseis you are Awesome!!

Awesome, Thank God you eventually saw this guy for what he was. You are so incredibly brave. Amen.
December 12, 2010 - 12:51pm
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Favorite

"you are creating something in your head that doesn't exist" " you are trying to chage me" " I adore you like my dog" oh the list is sooooo long. Oxox
December 12, 2010 - 3:04pm (Reply to #21)
Jean
Jean's picture

great thread - laughter is healing

In responding to my attempts to get clarity around why he had flirted with me heavily for months then seemed repulsed by the idea of sex . . . So, _____, just out of curiosity, why don't you want to get together? "Your're married. . .and you're not Jewish" Hunh??? I still can't figure this out. I think he thought it would hurt my feelings. And, said under his breath in a nasty voice, "oh, I'll take you for a ride, alright." I did a double take with the last one, because it really didn't make sense - it wasn't funny. "I wasn't aware there was any animosity" - said while seething with hatred.
December 12, 2010 - 4:02pm (Reply to #22)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Great idea!

While married to him.... "I can relax on the weekends when you have your period because there's no pressure to have sex with you." While separated... "You know, I'm glad we're getting a divorce. I never did understand why someone would want to have sex with the same person more than once. I mean, been there, done that already. What's the point?
December 12, 2010 - 8:06am
really
really's picture

"You didn't think it was

"You didn't think it was going to go on like this forever, did you?" and "You take everything so literally". This after he talked and talked about going to outdoor music shows when we were in our 60s and so many other things. "You're so uptight" was a popular one. He said it whenever he wanted me to do something that I was uncomfortable with. Of course, this is from the man with no boundaries. I used to tease him about that, but now it's not so funny...
December 12, 2010 - 7:12am
agnesmurphy17
agnesmurphy17's picture

Most Hurtful Line

"I was never sexually or emotionally connected to you. I married you because I thought my love for you would transform you as [my ex-GF's] love transformed me." He thought this no big deal. This was not a reason to end the marriage. He LOVED me. (Why & how if he's neither sexually nor emotionally attached?) Reminds me of a line I read in a book about abusive men. The woman says to the family therapist: "Oh. He loves me. He just doesn't like me." Women end up putting up with such nonsense. And somehow reconciling that which is inherently illogical becomes an everyday occurrence.
December 12, 2010 - 6:29am
imabloke
imabloke's picture

Mine has to be...

We were in Paris for her fortieth, I had champagne and some really nice chocs etc. that i sneaked into a bag nad manged to carry around without her noticing what's inside.. found a really nice spot by a fountain - held her hand - looked into her eyes etc. (didn't get down on one knee that's just toooo cheesy) and proposed to her - she said yes. When she dumped me and i brought this up.. she said - actual words.. 'that was very nice.. BUT IT DIDN'T TAKE MY BREATH AWAY'.
December 12, 2010 - 6:20pm (Reply to #17)
apple
apple's picture

Imabloke!!

I'm so sorry!!! She sounds soooo ungrateful!!!! That was a really sweet thing you did. And in regards to your other post... I think its perfectly normal for us to be a little more cautious when we start dating again. I mean, after what we have been through. Don't be so hard on yourself, ok?!
December 12, 2010 - 6:28am
jen79
jen79's picture

I am telling you something

I had a bf that had such a big dick, that sex was always very stressful, he of course blamed me, my vagina is too tight, its not normal and so on. I should go to the doc and let it check. After him I had a bf, his dick was totally small, smaller than average...I didnt give so much importance to that, loving woman that I am...he of course started right away complaining, my vagina wouldnt be normal, its too big and wide...and it doesnt look like a normal vagina... ah yes...Of course I have either a unusual tight vagina, that needs surgery, or a unnatural wide vagina, that needs surgery... Thats a lesson for life, I will never ever accept again any kind of critisism on myself and my body. Men do that, to make themselves feel better, and it shows how much your worth for them, you are just a doll for them.
December 12, 2010 - 6:22pm (Reply to #15)
apple
apple's picture

Jen!!

I am seriously ROLLING right now!! You should be in stand up comedy!!! Thanks for the smile girly =)
December 12, 2010 - 10:17am (Reply to #3)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Yup

You are so on spot. The N/P told me that I had a mushy P----. I had never heard that one before. He then showed me pics of women with "normal" p's. He asked me to marry him and then when he D&D me he said that no man would marry a women with a mushy p. I was so hurt by this at the time and now I can see that he is a women hater. He has to put the women down in order to feel superior. He constantly told me I looked old, which was amusing to me at the time cuz I don't have a hang up about how I look for my age, everyone thinks I am much younger than I am so I was like, whatever. The one that left me speechless though was: It's not my fault you were so gaga in love with me that you "let" me do whatever I wanted. This was his defense for his abusive behavior when I finally wanted him out. Like I allowed all of this so it makes it my fault. I did not allow jack shit he is paying for his crimes. He also said that day that he preferred women with black hair, mine is blonde, and it was not his responsibility to help me get over the OW, I would have to see a therapist to deal with it and then he told me that he checked out women all the time, I just did not notice and he said that it was not his fault we got together, it was me who went into his room and hit on him. Which is not what happened at all. He said: who the f--- eats lamb, you are a psycho. When he puched me in the head, he told me to my face that I hit my head on the seatbelt. The cops saw the truth and he was charged. When I asked him to leave again he said that he never loved me, he was using me the entire time, he had already cheated on me, and another girl was in the works and he would leave when he was good and ready, the cops so that one differently as well. His sorry ass was hauled out of my house again. He came back 11 times in 3 months and was charged with 4 a&b and a variety of other charges. You do NOT tell me that you will leave MY HOUSE when you are good and ready. Wow that was incredible to me, he said that twice. So they do not all get AWAY with it, this one is sitting in jail for his horrific abuse which is where he belongs. Once I realized that this guy was a moron and had no clue what he was talking about or the fundamentals of life, I was able to let go of his words. There are just so many of them. These are the ones which stand out in my mind right now. I am just so grateful that he is gone. I can breath again in my home and I no longer have to listen to his absurd comments. Yippee!! God bless, Goldie
December 12, 2010 - 6:24pm (Reply to #14)
apple
apple's picture

Goldie!!!!!!!!!!

hahahha!!! I can't even believe that he said that. He is a total wackjob. I'm completly blown away right now. Sooo freaking happy you got away from him!!!
December 12, 2010 - 12:12pm (Reply to #4)
jen79
jen79's picture

Oh wow

Now that you wrote all above, memories come back. I was told to look like an alienface, my budd is too small, for another it was too big, my vagina too small and too big, my tits are too big, for another not big enough, I am too thin, for another too fed, I am too tall, weird beauty, I was told I look like a child with a womans body, another said I look too old for my age, one said I wear too casual clothes, another called me I look too bitchy and not natural enough. How could I ever let this happen, how could I ever accept any comment like that???? I swear to god, never ever will I put up one minute more with anyone who complains about my looks. Who even dares to comment about it at all. Not only bfs, friends did as well.
December 12, 2010 - 6:41pm (Reply to #8)
apple
apple's picture

umm...

I think your a hottie patotti!!!!!!! AND I would know since I'm a very good judge of who's hot and who's not. lol. My jokes are so dumb sometime. Seriously Jen, you're one hot mama and a million guys would date or marry you in about two seconds.