Ok please answer! These are my last hooks, I want to know what happened.

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Oct 4 - 9AM (Reply to #29)
better off
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IOW, he lives in a land of

IOW, he lives in a land of make-believe and fiction, and he doesn't even friggin know what's real and what's not. Which is a good description of a narcissist, but yours is living in an environment SET UP for it. Double whammy. Good riddance.
Oct 4 - 8AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

DOUBLE POST

DOUBLE POST
Oct 4 - 8AM
Scoop
Scoop's picture

Its all fantisy land for

Its all fantisy land for them , take the ex girlfriend .. now she is a goodess yet he dumped her .. huh? I had the same thing with mine "i never love you as much as i loved what ever her name was".. its laughable but also a warning for us because in the future in their crazy brains we might be elervated to the status of saint hood and thats when the hover start ... emotionaly they are madder than mad mc mad , like a 6 year old in the play grouund not friends one minute and friends the next this is why you have to stay away from them . Its not normal or adult in any way and the more you try to understand the more youre brain bleeds .
Oct 4 - 3PM (Reply to #23)
ewa
ewa's picture

LOL i had the same, my said"

LOL i had the same, my said" I have never loved you as much as i loved my other gfs" , the difference was he did not mention them by name, maybe i was the worse one :)))
Oct 7 - 10AM (Reply to #24)
moonshine
moonshine's picture

oh i know all the names

the names of all the OW and their stories are stuck INDISE MY HEAD..... I asked my pysch ...what is WRONG with me...why is it so HARD for me to let go...
Oct 7 - 10AM (Reply to #25)
Used
Used's picture

me too

i knew all the names...well i thought i did..one day i thought hasent he got any other conversation....well no he didnt have...he was A MALE WHORE.... thats all he knew...
Oct 4 - 3PM (Reply to #22)
ewa
ewa's picture

.

doubled post
Oct 4 - 7AM
CarolKittyGale (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Jen79

ok where do I start...this is just my experience and I am not an expert. I have been with a two of these 'care in the community' types, the first was in 2001 four years after my husband died so I was vulnerable. He was very, very violent but I was strong and got out after living with him for about 9 months but it damaged me a great deal but I got through it. He done all the classic Narc stuff to a tee and when we broke up got new supply very quickly. He kept me in the loop doing all the hoovering stuff and I was to frighten not to speak to him so to a degree just held the candle to the devil and thanked my lucky stars he had found NS. Upon talking to the NS I found out that he had put me on a pedestal, told her how special I was, how beautiful and what a lady I was. When she met me she said she was nervous to meet me because of all the wonderful things he had said to her about me and I found out he beat the crap out of her too. She was under the impression that things had been different with us but he had treated me just as badly only I had got out of the situation much quicker then she did. She has since broken up with him but remains friends, I have distanced myself and don't talk to him any more So hopefully that is the end of Narc #1. I have been split from Narc #2 for 9 months now and NC for 8 months. He wasn't violent physically but mentally he was classic N. I got out of that asap too as I knew the signs because of what I had been through before but it upset me a great deal. He got NS the day before we split up but tried to keep the door open with me in case things didn't work with the new OW but I was having none of it and he was at best spiteful and worst evil to me hitting on all the things he thought would hurt me most. He made a point of flaunting the OW everywhere and even phoned me to tell me he'd never really loved me and was going to treat her better then he'd ever treated me...he moved in with her after four weeks but I think that was more because he had to live with his parents and had no where else to go. I could go on and on with the spiteful things he done to me but what is the point it's done now. I know hand on my heart that give it a little while and he will be playing mind games with her, if he isn't all ready, I'm even getting feed back now that he is going into my local pub knowing full well he could bump into me but I have stayed away because I don't want to see him ever again, so you see the d & d is probably beginning with his new victim, only she knows what he has said to her about me and our relationship, the mind boogles...laugh!!! bearing in mind he lied to me that he had been married at an early age for two years and was divorced and made up some fictional ex-wife to use to mentally beat me with a stick. It's all about drama and attention and it's all a game for them no one is different to them. Don't worry sweetpea that you haven't had the relationship you are looking for yet as your life isn't over yet. I have been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and that is the one I need to work on. Date yourself for a while. :-)) Big Hugs xxxx
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #19)
jen79
jen79's picture

carolkitty

Oh jesus, this story of yours just remeinded me, the exnarc who beated me physically, he had a baby mamma he still toyed around with, and she contacted me and she told me, that he is talking about me all the time, how great I was, what I did for him, and that she knows me better than anyone. Well he didnt tell her, that he beated me and that he left me with more than 10000 euro dept!!! I thought about warning her, but I didnt. Maybe I should have told her.
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #20)
CarolKittyGale (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

jen79

So do you now see how carbon copy they all are....it's just same shit different day...laugh!! Narc #1 took £5,000 from me and only give me £1,000 back (worth it to get rid of him) :-) Narc #2 was just as big a ponce but I didn't give him money but I was kind to him. I have friends that are not on this site who have had similar experiences and you couldn't make it up..laugh! When you start dating yourself and looking after you,then you start to get clarity and everything falls into place. I have turned these experiences around and instead of them holding me back I have used them, eventually after the initial shock, to make me go forward and be a learning curve and now I have healthy boundaries in place. I'm nice to everybody but I am not a charity organisation. Still at least we know now..it not us it's all about them...laugh!!
Oct 4 - 7AM
better off
better off's picture

Wait... was his exGF

Wait... was his exGF pregnant by HIM? Or by someone else?
Oct 4 - 7AM (Reply to #13)
jen79
jen79's picture

better off

pregnant by HIM!!!!!
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #14)
better off
better off's picture

Oh. Wow. He has SO MUCH

Oh. Wow. He has SO MUCH empathy. I mean, he's with YOU... and his "ex"GF is PREGNANT. I can see how loving and caring he really is. How "ex" could she have been? She was PREGNANT. "He wanted me to leave earlier so he could take care of her." Was he taking care of her before that? And then he was so destroyed that she lost the baby? SURE!!! I agree with Ms Vulcan, it was a giant pity party. This schmuck sounds like he never misses an opportunity to lay on the drama. What a perfect opportunity to "act like" he cared, since, after all, now he's off the hook and there is no baby. Jen, you've got to get REAL about this guy. He is in a nonstop performance. What a dork.
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #15)
jen79
jen79's picture

OMG better off

You really do a great job at talking me out of this here! WOW Was I blind and manipulated!! You are so right! The baby was gone already, and she sure lost it cause of stress with him, and then he could act like he cares...while sleeping with me...Oh jesus. Yes the guy never misses an opportunity to lay on drama, this is his job he is an actor, and I think he is too method in that...nonstop performance yes. I so much would like to tell this ex everything! But I know that wont be an good idea.
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #16)
better off
better off's picture

Just think of the mindf**k

Just think of the mindf**k she went through!!! OMG, she's pregnant with his child, he's moved on to someone else... can you imagine? And then, she has a miscarriage and he's all over that, crying and telling her he wants to help her. And then SHE is in the cognitive dissonance vortex like you are. "Why would he care so much if he didn't care about me?" And seriously, now that I think about it... that CREEP probably had HER comforting HIM over how "destroyed" he was over it. Oh, pooooor meeee, YOU lost your baby, POOR ME!!! I would love to slap this guy upside the head! Then let's watch him cry.
Oct 4 - 2PM (Reply to #17)
Briseis
Briseis's picture

Bingo, Better off, that is

Bingo, Better off, that is exactly what I was thinking.
Oct 4 - 7AM
MsVulcan500
MsVulcan500's picture

I'm not sure why this

I'm not sure why this happens, why it seems that they care for others and not us, but it does appear that way sometimes. But I also think that is the crux of it all, it is appearances. As far as the miscarriage, most likely any feelings of loss he had were for himself. First, what better way to get sympathy from everyone than to suffer a loss? And we all know that any loss the narc has is way worse than any loss anyone else has ever had. And during this time his gf was a major source of supply. She was most likely clinging to him because they had suffered this tragedy together. That is most likely why he was spending so much time with her. He told you it was to take care of her, but was it really? He may have gone to her and had her make him a sandwich. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors. As far as talking about how wonderful his exgf was, that may have been to keep you trying. I know mine did this, not so much with exes, but with anyone else. All I ever heard was how great everyone else was, whether it was a musician friend or the barista at Starbucks. It didn't matter. It kept me in that mode of feeling almost good enough, so I kept trying harder to be as good as he wanted me to be. Mine was also friends with all of his exes except one. The one who found someone else and left him. Yours may still be friends with his exes because they allow it, and you are setting boundaries and not allowing it. Also, if you have called him out on his behavior, he knows you have really gone to the other side and frankly, it would just be too much work to try to get you back in his fold. They are lazy and will always take the path of least resistence. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, that it is something wrong with you, but it's not. It's still him and it's hard for us to understand how their minds work because we have real empathy and can't understand just throwing others under the bus so we can feel better about ourselves. It's just unfathomable for us to believe some people just have no feelings at all.
Oct 4 - 7AM (Reply to #2)
jen79
jen79's picture

MsVulcan

this is true, he told me, she always wants to be right and that she always knows everything better than him, but when she is said and vulnerable, she is "just herself", then he loves her, he said. He said that then she tried to said "the right things" after that. I guess she pleased him as she never did before. For the other girlfriend he told me about, I heard this here before, that they tell you these things to devalue you and to keep you hooked and to try harder. This is still a very abstract concept for me, very hard to grasp, that someone does and say these things to punsih you in some form. He really said this in a very convincing manner. He called his manager this time, he had a fight with, and he said they both cried on the telephone. Then he said, there is another girfriend he totally adores, she is the most funny person he ever met, and they meet once a week to cook together. I mean what else, everyone is wonderful, but me I am not worth a call, just one line texts with a boob pics request - is it possible he told me about that all, just to punish me? That I am not good enough, so I never stand up for myself? The next was, another ex he was together with, he said they came together, cause she never threatened him! But she left him cause she as well checked his mails as I did, and she as well didnt understand that all these mails with other women are just "fun and play". Is it possible, that he tried to train me? Telling me all these stories, so I keep my mouth shut?
Oct 4 - 7AM (Reply to #3)
better off
better off's picture

"telling me all these stories"

Yes, he was telling you a lot of stories. You keep saying "he said" this and "he said" that, and narcissists are pathological LIARS. Right? Stop thinking about what "he said" because 99% of anything they say is lies! And anything they tell you that's true is only used to manipulate you into what they want somehow. And now, he has you stewing over all the crap "he said" and put in your head to confuse you. YES, he was training you. And I'm sure that if you were to get THEIR story he told them the same crap. He's probably working someone over right now about how great you were and how you did this or that and the new girl is trying to measure up to it. It's a GAME. I find it interesting he's so enamored of EX girlfriends, LOL. Just never the one he's with. ;-)
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #11)
CarolKittyGale (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

amen to that

amen to that sister...couldn't have put it better my self...:-) Know this to be true as had both the exN do it to me and do it to other women about me...knowledge is freedom.
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
better off
better off's picture

He said...

this is true, he told me she always wants to be right and that she always knows everything better than him, but when she is said and vulnerable, she is "just herself", then he loves her, he said. Bullshit He said that then she tried to said "the right things" after that. I guess she pleased him as she never did before. Bullshit For the other girlfriend he told me about, I heard this here before, that they tell you these things to devalue you and to keep you hooked and to try harder. This is still a very abstract concept for me, very hard to grasp, that someone does and say these things to punsih you in some form. He really said this in a very convincing manner. Double bullshit! He called his manager this time, he had a fight with, and he said they both cried on the telephone. Bullshit... and he really seems to cry a lot. LOL He cried on the phone with his MANAGER? lolol Sure. Then he said, there is another girfriend he totally adores, she is the most funny person he ever met, and they meet once a week to cook together. hahahahaha Bullshit I mean what else, everyone is wonderful, but me I am not worth a call, just one line texts with a boob pics request - is it possible he told me about that all, just to punish me? That I am not good enough, so I never stand up for myself? BINGO! The next was, another ex he was together with, he said they came together, cause she never threatened him! But she left him cause she as well checked his mails as I did, and she as well didnt understand that all these mails with other women are just "fun and play". Bullshit Is it possible, that he tried to train me? Telling me all these stories, so I keep my mouth shut? Oh yeah!
Oct 7 - 9AM (Reply to #10)
moonshine
moonshine's picture

better off..

I also went through all these stories sitting there listening to them...its comforting to see what you write...i believed what he said...i doubted myself..... he is bullshit. Thanks,,
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
jen79
jen79's picture

better off LOOOOL

you make me laugh LOOOOL! Yes you are right, he told me alot of BS! I mean next story (on the first date!): "I gave an exgf 5000 dollar cause she needed money for her cancer treatment." I know this is true, but why on earth did he tell me about it. So I see what a great guy he is? Maybe the next thing is, he heales blind people and walking over the see...Oh jesus I was punished and manipulated!!! I would give one million dollar just to hear the BS stories he told others as well.
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #9)
Used
Used's picture

...Oh jesus I was punished

...Oh jesus I was punished and manipulated!!! I would give one million dollar just to hear the BS stories he told others as well. YOU have heard them jen,,,you have just wrote them here...they say THE SAME OLD SAME OLD SAME OLD to everyone.. when i met ow ...everything he ever said he had said to both of us. by then i knew this..but she didnt he has moresoul mates than i have had hot dinners.and hundreds of others are still hearing it...boring ponce..OH and why has he got so many exg/fs... cos he is a lying loser...i dont believe he gave her money.... they give nothing of them selves at all...if she did get money...then he stole it off someone else...it wouldnt be his..believe me!!!
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #6)
better off
better off's picture

Heals blind people, LOL

"I gave an exgf 5000 dollar cause she needed money for her cancer treatment." But did he cry? lol For someone so incredible he sure has a lot of EX girlfriends.
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #7)
jen79
jen79's picture

did he cry?

Oh for sure! He cried two days last time we saw each other, cause it was so "emotional", holding me in his arms, crying crying crying. And then he dumped me and went back to ex, he barely "couldnt talk about anything" - HE SAID lool.
Oct 4 - 8AM (Reply to #8)
better off
better off's picture

Gag me with a spoon! Yes,

Gag me with a spoon! Yes, it's okay for a man to cry... on occasion... over something really tragic. Or losing a football game. But.. let this be a lesson for you. Normal guys really don't cry that much. And if he tells you STORIES about him crying, then you need to run away. NO normal guy will TELL you about his crying. Oh, and the exN I knew cried. Well.. HE SAID he cried. haha!