well known phrases

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September 13, 2010 - 7:23am (Reply to #44)
Alive's picture

reminds me

'I wish i could sue you' ExN writes ' I will look at MY judge's order'- everytime he feels threatned of being unmasked and to make him look/feel better about himself-yukkkkk
September 14, 2010 - 12:18am (Reply to #45)
Susan32's picture

That lawsuit and the court of public opinion

The ex-Psych professor and I argued about money despite the fact we weren't dating! We didn't even get physically intimate, yet he liked arguing about $$$$. He'd be concerned about the money I was making with my summer jobs... yet he wasn't benefitting from them :) My Taco Bell job in Oregon didn't get him a free lunch. I got his lecture about Wittgenstein/Augustine popular, so he ended up making the Infamous 14 Copies. Of course, he gave them out for free... and after he did that, he accused me of "stealing." I was like "you gave the copies to students, now you'll be asking for money?" I told him it would look.... pathetic. He spat, "I wish I could sue you!" then we argued about price points for the lectures... well, see why I didn't marry this guy, let alone bed him??? He tried to frighten me with the whole "I'll get my lawyer/I wish I could sue you" and I told him that it would LOOK BAD for him to be suing an unemployed college student... that he'd look like a total moron. He was mad because I had found one of his essays online and read it gratis. Ever since, it costs $$$ to read one of his articles. He REALLY doesn't want his students to read what he writes. Paranoia can do that to ya. More money arguments- 1)I was volunteering at elementary school FOR FREE. I did it anyhow. 2)Oh, I got into a teacher education program. It didn't pay. But I did it anyhow. He'd complain about not being paid enough, comparing himself to a prostitute,and he'd act "worried" about my employment situation/salary. We weren't even LIVING TOGETHER. If we were sharing rent/utilities/car payments... then he would be reasonable. But really. Eyeroll :0
September 13, 2010 - 2:08am
Alibi_10's picture

two more

How could I forget these classics: You will NEVER know me You like me so much more than I like you I do want you in my life. ... a bit!
September 12, 2010 - 8:32pm
Janet's picture

I don't want to be the booby

I don't want to be the booby prize. Peace. J

Peace. J

September 12, 2010 - 8:14pm
OriginalMe's picture


On the "I never said that" And: "I know I am not a good person" "Be who you are, and say what you feel; for those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

"Be who you are, and say what you feel; for those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

September 12, 2010 - 3:15pm
jen79's picture


Well I always got the "I do do this and that" That has always been a sign for me that the exact opposite is indeed the case. "I do care about you" "I do love you" "I do miss you" "I do want to see you again" "I do think of you" and the best: I'll call you soon. I need to think about it. I might do this and that (might maybe eventually). true words spoken by him: You are too good for me. You shouldn't be so nice to me. You should send me to hell. I make everyone crazy, you deserve better. And my absolute hate message numbero uno: x xx xxx or "blahblahblah" and "xc" at the end, which always ment something like "end of disussion".
September 16, 2010 - 12:18am (Reply to #39)
ClusterF's picture

I love that one

You deserve someone nice. Mindfuckery at its best.
September 13, 2010 - 4:38pm (Reply to #38)
gettinbetter's picture

Mine said everyone one of

Mine said everyone one of these. Every single one you mentioned
September 12, 2010 - 3:21pm (Reply to #37)
Alibi_10's picture

Oooh oooh oooh !

.... that's just reminded me of another one ! "(HIS NAME) ... should come with a health warning. A mental health warning !!! " Well that's ONE thing he didn't lie about :o) LOL x
September 12, 2010 - 2:54pm
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Towards the end...

The idiot kept repeating: "I am in control" I love you BUT with conditions...
September 12, 2010 - 8:08pm (Reply to #31)
kiwi10's picture

thats interesting

mine always said 'unconditional love is unhealthy'
September 13, 2010 - 4:47pm (Reply to #32)
better off
better off's picture

Unconditional love IS

Unconditional love IS unhealthy. But boy do they want you to give it to them!
September 14, 2010 - 12:09am (Reply to #35)
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Unconditional love is unhealthy

But I meant it in a general sense...HIS conditions were that we consistently sweep things under the rug so that they could simmer to a slow cook the way lentils do in a pressure cooker!
September 14, 2010 - 12:02am (Reply to #33)
M's picture

unconditional love

..that's why my xN was so obsessed with his dog. anytime I brought up a topic to discuss- I got "what does that have to do with the price of tea in China". So fustrating.
September 14, 2010 - 8:07am (Reply to #34)
WellRed's picture

What he really probably

What he really probably meant was "What does this have to do with MEEEEEEE" LOL
September 12, 2010 - 1:02pm
cluelessuntilnow's picture

well known phrases

I am sorry if that hurt you but that is how I feel I am selfish & shallow I am ruthless and cold I know this is not what you want to hear I am never going to change Don't cry It is always drama with you & me Sensitivity is not my strong suit. Everyone is out for themselves I am not sure I have a soul I tried not to hurt anyone but if that's how you took it then I don't know what to say I don't understand people who ( help, are compassionate, etc...) What can I say I am a selfish SOB. I am not nice to the other people in my life either. I am a control freak. I can hold a grudge forever. I don't care what other people are doing (or about their lives) I have done so many bad things Wow when I write this out I think holy cow! Scares me a little.
September 16, 2010 - 2:47pm (Reply to #29)
ShaynasMommy's picture

"I can hold a grudge forever."

Boy, ain't that the truth? Mine still hates me for his own screw ups apparently.....8 years of NC later!
September 12, 2010 - 9:16am
Gracerella's picture

Some of my favorites

Some of my favorites were/are: "What's past is prologue" (ie, let's not talk about the cold, hard facts that led us to where we are. Evidence that our failed marriage was caused bythese specific actions proves nothing) "You evoked that from me" (when I yelled at you, verbally abused you, reacted in a way that was disrespectful and cruel...sure, I acknowledge that what I said was wrong, but it was still your fault) My newest favorite: "There are three sides to every story" (just because your side has merit, and my side shows specific examples and continued N behavior, that doesn't mean there isn't a THIRD side where the reality in my head is how I want others to view me) And yes, "everyone makes mistakes"...but not everyone empties their kids' college funds, racks up hidden debt, almost loses our home to foreclosure, and continues to buy himself thousand dollar watches, guitars, neiman's shopping sprees, etc, AND LIES ABOUT IT ALL.
September 12, 2010 - 9:41am (Reply to #27)
betty2020's picture

OMG I love it!!! Three sides

OMG I love it!!! Three sides to every story...LMAO. only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

September 12, 2010 - 12:30pm (Reply to #26)
Used's picture

to add to list[lol

when i would ask why he done what he done, . why do you listen to people they are only jealous of our freindship. yeah right. and yes all his ff had nicknames[including me i have since found out] they just didnt know it. until one of them decided to tell me his name for me, so i told her his name for her. she was so shocked, i wasent, cos if he was naming all them insultingly, why wouldnt he be doing it to me. i knew this toerag so well by then.
September 12, 2010 - 8:58am
betty2020's picture

ALL OF THEM. And the list

ALL OF THEM. And the list goes on and on and on. only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

September 12, 2010 - 8:55am
betty2020's picture

"Ive always been told Im of

"Ive always been told Im of Genius Level, ever since childhood" Really? Hummm? thats funny than why cant you even spell "Morning" as in Good Morning????? Its not "Mouring" that's something I did every day i was with your ass!!!! only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

September 13, 2010 - 5:38pm (Reply to #23)
naivenomore's picture


Thanks Betty, I'm laughing out loud here as I read your "mourning" comment! Priceless!
September 12, 2010 - 8:27am
wholeagain's picture

Two are really familiar:

I am not a bad person (or, I'm a good man) Sex is just sex (or, sex and love are totally different) And versions of women being controlling whores, him being better than most people or bored by most people, the fact that nothing interesting would happen if it weren't for him. I was just realizing last night how much he embarrassed me over the years by the things he'd say. He also would try to fit in with any group. Like if he were hanging out with gay men he wanted them to know that he was oh-so-cool about it and knew all about the culture. Whatever!
September 13, 2010 - 4:47pm (Reply to #21)
better off
better off's picture

"I am not a liar."

"I am not a liar."
September 12, 2010 - 8:33am (Reply to #2)
Mariline's picture

"I am not a bad person"

"I am not a bad person" seems to be a common phrase. Guess why.......
September 12, 2010 - 8:56am (Reply to #20)
betty2020's picture

Heard that all the time. It

Heard that all the time. It was part of the daily dialogue. only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

only one way to go...Forward (tm?)

September 12, 2010 - 8:39am (Reply to #3)
Used's picture

i am not a bad person

the times i heard this from n and nwf, all the time i am a realy good person i am a realy good person, i ended up saying to both. I THINK ONE DOTH PROTEST TO MUCH. if someone is good , they are told that by people, they dont have to keep telling the world how good they are. cos what they are saying is i am rotten and thats the truth of it.
September 13, 2010 - 7:09am (Reply to #19)
desprathousewife's picture

I still love you

He would do something terrible to me, I would leave and then when he wanted to hoover me back in and his first text would always be 'I still love you'. Weird cos sometimes we would only be out of touch for a day or 2. The 'I am not a bad person' came in my 2nd text a week after he pinned me to the bed and punched me full force in the face.....erm he didnt mean to hurt me apparently, seems I must have bruised his knuckles by accidentally putting my face in the way of his fist, how awful of me to do such a thing to this GOOD person eh?
September 12, 2010 - 3:01pm (Reply to #4)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

These are great!

Thanks for sharing!
September 13, 2010 - 5:43am (Reply to #5)
Alive's picture

Only words...

My favourite and this is no joke... ' me, me, me'- Before i knew he was a N we used to 'joke' about when i used to say '(name) why do you always go on about yourself?' his reply was 'It's always about me, me, me' and i used to laugh! 'do you think i look ok?'-constantly in the mirror (even my child mentioned this to him) 'Is my hair cut ok?'- take what i got when i mentioned on one occassion that the barber had missed a bit. Rage, rage and more rage not just at me but went back to the barber and raged at him aswell. 'do you think i am obssesed?'- Yes with yourself.:) 'look at the state of you' 'Why don't they look at me'- oh please.... 'you don't love me' 'do yu think i have got bigger'- yes you do look like you have put on weight- take what i got! 'you can not go out looking like that with me' 'your hair needs washing' 'you smell' There are many more. After i have typed this it has been made more clear to me what a Ass**** he is. Thanks....
September 13, 2010 - 6:02am (Reply to #15)
Alive's picture

Oh yes

another- 'women always do it' what N ? 'they always come back'. OMG! I am getting so many flashbacks. I am new to this forum, i was terrified to comment on any posts but i am so glad that i have. It has somehow been very liberating (if this makes sense?) This has made me feel so much better. Thankyou allx
September 13, 2010 - 7:33am (Reply to #17)
Used's picture

coming back

n said to me too, as well they all come back, , who, said i WOMEN, said he, i said no dear you are the one who always go back! and then he said i dont let anyone go. i love a contridiction, as he said one thing and ment another, i said i didnt come back, you stalked me for over a year, thats why i am here to shut you up, people keep saying look pyscotic when you are looking for me narc. i went back with him for one reason and only one reason to D/D him. and i did it royally 11mnths ago, and i will never go back, he can try every trick in the book and has, i will never go back. they are the one,s that go back.
September 13, 2010 - 8:47am (Reply to #18)
Alive's picture

coming back

You go girl! lol. I was still shocked when he said it though. This was after he threw me in the rubbish heap by the way. I wish i knew then what i know now.
September 13, 2010 - 6:13am (Reply to #16)
MsVulcan500's picture


I know what you mean. I still have so many a-ha moments when I read what all of you others have gone through. It's really validating.
September 13, 2010 - 5:52am (Reply to #6)
MsVulcan500's picture


"I am a god" "they are at this level (hand down low) and I am at this level (hand up high)" "I cry on the inside"
September 13, 2010 - 7:18am (Reply to #7)
Klarity Belle
Klarity Belle's picture

Narc talk

"I love you but I don't know if I love you enough" "Part of me will always hope we can get back together some day" This was just after he had told me about his new girlfriend Blah blah, yeah yeah all empty words ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran "That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4

"The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran

"That which we do not confront in ourselves we meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung


September 13, 2010 - 10:20pm (Reply to #8)
almostlydia's picture

I know I am a good man. I am

I know I am a good man. I am not gay. the truth has never been good to me. I just want to find someone who will love me as much as I love you. I only lie to other people. I never lie to you. You just don't get it. None of these other people mean anything to me. I promise (with tears in his eyes) I will never hurt you again. You are not God. You are bipolar. You always have to be in control. You don't love your children. A particular favorite one of late: You will marry me when you grow up. Oh, the list could go on and on. almostlydia


September 13, 2010 - 10:22pm (Reply to #9)
terri's picture

Here's one I heard a lot

Did anyone here this one? "I never fought with anyone the way I fight with you."

Believe in yourself!

September 14, 2010 - 8:50am (Reply to #14)
Used's picture


i had this crap , what had he forgotton how many of his ex,s had called the police on him, and got courts orders against him, they live to "fight" its the only emotion they have. they cant even be men and admit that! he said he had met a woman and how nice it was to be with her as there was no arguing or fighting, i said i know what you mean i feel like that when i am with name, a male friend, oh dear he wasent pleased, b/c by him saying that i was suppose to think it was me causing the fights, pure projection but from such an amatuer. lol
September 14, 2010 - 8:35am (Reply to #10)
ag2306's picture

I never fought with anyone the way I fight with you

I've heard this so many times,or "I never argue with anyone else", (so it can't be me)Projection!
September 14, 2010 - 10:41am (Reply to #11)
better off
better off's picture

I think some of their

I think some of their "projection" is really just them repeating what other people have screamed in their faces probably many times. They don't even know what some of this stuff means, really. But how many times do you think a narc hears "I have never fought with anyone like this but you?" because it's THEM! I'm reminded of loveofmylife having her idiot narc say "you're violating my boundaries" when it doesn't even make any sense!! He doesn't even KNOW what that means... but I think he must have heard it from his ex-wife (at the very least) since she had a RO against him... I mean obviously there were some boundary issues there. So when he wants to push her off, he just pulls that phrase out to avoid talking to her. And then instead of dealing with the issue at hand, now she's spending her energy trying to figure out how on earth she violated his boundaries. SHE DIDN'T! But the subject has been sufficiently changed. With my husband, when i get a new insight on his strange behavior, and I say anything about it... within a few weeks he will use the same comment against me. Like, gee, where'd you hear that one? (rolling eyes)
September 14, 2010 - 10:59am (Reply to #13)
Alive's picture

better off

Exactly!!! N used the same comment (with more rage and conviction of course) but this was directed to my child!! as i do NC. COuld not get to me so he used my child. Sick idiot.
September 14, 2010 - 10:52am (Reply to #12)
Used's picture


they all mimic, not an orignal thought of their own, does remind me off ONCE n did come out with something orignal, and i said !did you get a script out when i blinked. lol